Ep.102 Stop Shrinking - You Can Build The Life That Lights You Up

You can have the job, the relationship, and the life that looks exactly like it should and still feel that quiet, persistent “off” you cannot explain. 

This week I'm sharing my latest article “Nine Years”, the real story of trying to find myself in Italy without the glossy Instagram edit. I talk about the fear of freelancing, the pressure to be sensible, and the slow drift from “this role doesn’t fit me” to “I don’t fit anywhere”. I dig into what happens when you undercharge, undersell, and stay in jobs that contain elements you are good at but still bury the part of you that feels alive. If you have ever felt alone in your ambition, this will land.

The shift comes from one deceptively simple coaching question: “Why not do that instead?” That was the moment I felt permission to choose the thing that lit me up and build it in the real world, designing and making leather accessories, learning Etsy, selling at craft markets, and reclaiming ownership over my work. It is not a story about instant success. It is a story about permission, identity, creative entrepreneurship, and the quiet rebellion of choosing yourself.

If you are stuck waiting for the golden ticket, press play and ask yourself: who would you be tomorrow if you turned your voltage up? Subscribe, share this with a friend who feels quietly off, and leave a review so more people can find the permission they have been missing.

Transcript

The Quiet Feeling Something Is Off

Zoe Greenhalf 0:00

You've done everything right. The job, the relationship, the life that looks exactly like it should. And yet something's off. Not crisis level off. Just quietly, persistently off. Like a song playing in another room that you can't quite make out. But you can't stop hearing it either. If that's you, welcome. You found the right place. I'm Zoe. And this is for support. Where we talk about what it actually means to feel alive. Not the Instagram version, the real one. This is for the quiet couples. The ones who know those all. They're just not sure they're allowed to want it here. Ordinary is optional. Let's get into it.

Nine Years In Italy Without Romance

Zoe Greenhalf 1:06

Welcome back to House of Voltage. I hope you're ready for a story today because that's what I'm going to be giving you. It's called Nine Years and it kind of explains a little about how I ended up at this point and where House of Voltage really comes from. If you follow me on Substack, feel free to read this transmission number two if you prefer to listen in. Here we go. I spent nine years trying to find myself in Italy. That's not the romantic version you see on Instagram. No sun drenched revelations, no spiritual awakening over Limoncello. Just a decade of waking up, going to jobs that didn't fit, coming home smaller than I arrived, and lying awake wondering why nothing seemed to work. The idea of freelancing terrified me. The locals had horror stories. Nobody pays freelancers here, they told me, and so I believed them. I undercut myself or I made myself cheaper, smaller. The retail job I took lasted three months. I'm genuinely good with people, and I'd proven it years before working in retail in the UK. But this place didn't value me, and when they let me go, it hurt my ego. Except it was also laughable because I knew who I actually was. The gap between who I knew myself to be and just how small I'd made myself was so wide it was almost funny. Almost.

When Work Buries What Feels Alive

Zoe Greenhalf 2:47

The teaching was the closest thing to good. I loved my students and I found creative ways to bring lessons alive. I made them feel seen. But then came the planning, the correcting, the meetings, and I disappear into the admin. Every single time the part of me that was actually alive got buried under the part that was just surviving. What I didn't understand then, the thing that took me nine years to understand, was that none of these jobs were the problem. I was the problem. Not because I wasn't good enough, but because I'd made myself too small to fit anywhere real. Here's what actually happened looking back. I listened to people who knew this country better than me and mistook their insider knowledge for the only truth. They told me what was possible. I believed them. I made myself smaller to fit their version of reality. I undercharged, I undersold. I took jobs that contained elements I excelled at, but at the same time asked me to be someone I wasn't. And every time one of them didn't work out, I didn't think this job wasn't really right for me. I thought, God, I'm not right. I'm too ambitious. My dreams are too big. I'm a total misfit. I was so alone in that ambition. Everyone around me seemed fine with fine, settled with okay. And I couldn't find a single person who felt like they wanted more, who felt like their potential was being wasted the way mine was. So ever so slowly I made myself smaller, quieter, less. And I hardly noticed it happening. At the beginning, sure, but this went on for nine years.

One Question That Changes Everything

Zoe Greenhalf 5:01

Then I had a conversation with a coach. I was on maternity leave from teaching, and I knew I didn't want to go back. I'd done a social media course, which was the sensible, logical thing that would work around being a mum without requiring me to want anything too big. But when I finished the course, I realized something that it it just wasn't the thing that lit me up. So I told this coach about an old dream, about coming to Italy, wanting to make leather accessories, my own brand. Something I'd thought about years before when I was a student at London College of Fashion. And then again in my career as a footwear designer. And she said something that changed everything. Why not do that instead? Not that's risky or be realistic. Not the sensible path is the safe one. Just why not the thing that lights you up? That was permission. That was the real kind of permission that actually costs something because it means stopping being obedient to everyone else's version of what's possible for you. I was so nervous. But I didn't wait for anyone else to validate it. I

Building A Leather Brand From Scratch

Zoe Greenhalf 6:34

went home and I said, fuck it, I'm doing it. Not in anger, but in clarity. I was done trying to fit the mold. I was done checking the job listings, hoping for the golden ticket of a flexible part-time role that would solve everything. I was done going through the same cycle I'd already lived before I even became a mum. The trying, the shrinking, the hoping someone else would hand me something that worked, and then feeling grateful for the thing that really wasn't a good solution at all. So I designed a leather brand and called it Mischief and Hide. I designed everything and made the pieces myself, photographed them, sold them at craft markets, figured out how to use Etsy. It wasn't a massive business, not by any stretch of the imagination. And it wasn't going to make me rich. But it was mine. It was the thing I chose. It was me saying, I would rather build something that lights me up than spend another day shrinking into something that doesn't. That was the first real act of rebellion. It wasn't dramatic or reckless. It was just a quiet, fierce decision to stop waiting and start choosing myself. And honestly, the name said everything mischief and hide. The mischief was always in me. I just needed permission to let it out.

Stop Waiting And Choose Yourself

Zoe Greenhalf 8:10

Here's what I'm telling you now. If you're in your nine years, if you're in the job that contains elements you're good at but asks you to be someone you're not, if you're alone in your ambition and everyone around you seems fine with fine, if you've made yourself smaller because your dreams felt too big for the company you kept, stop waiting for that golden ticket. It's not coming. The thing that lights you up isn't irresponsible, it's not selfish, and it's not too big. It's just yours. And ordinary, the life you're living right now that fits like someone else's coat, ordinary is optional. You get to choose something else. So let me ask you: who would you be tomorrow if you turned your voltage up?

Turn Your Voltage Up And Subscribe

Zoe Greenhalf 9:14

Pierce, before you switch this off, if you want the insider version of that article about how I built a life in Italy, hit the subscribe button. Join us in After Hours, the secret podcast that goes a little deeper. Catch you next week.