Ep.98 Melissa Rodway: How Travel & Courage Help You Stop Settling And Start Living

Feeling stuck in the in-between—aware you’re meant for more, but unsure where to start? This week I sit down with author and adventurer Melissa Rodway to trace the spark behind her book The People You Meet and the winding path that followed. What begins as a tagalong trip across Southeast Asia becomes a study in curiosity, identity, and the strangers who tilt your life on its axis. Melissa shares how long emails from internet cafés turned into a self-published book, how she learned to choose the right voices to trust, and why one act of courage can open the floodgates to more...

We dig into myths about travel and transformation. No neat epiphanies, but plenty of skill-building, confidence, and space to think. Along the way, we talk about saying yes to the unknown, reading your body’s 'yes' when your mind says 'no', and letting purpose reveal itself in overlaps: radio, writing, comedy, and an unexpected pull toward celebrancy and the death industry. These threads look random from up close, then resolve into a pattern of storytelling, presence, and service.

If you’re wrestling with approval, perfection, or the “pick one lane” rule, this conversation offers a different blueprint. Start small. Ask better questions. Know when to tap out and go home instead of pushing through and burning out. Let dissatisfaction be data rather than a dead end. By the end, you’ll have practical prompts to move again and a reminder that the dots rarely connect without the next brave step...

https://flyrodway.com/

Melissa's book

Transcript

Welcome And Episode Set-Up

Melissa Rodway 0:00

It's I think once you scratch an itch, you can't go back to life as it used to be. Your body knows exactly what you're supposed to be doing, but it's your mind that's constantly telling it not to. And until you address it, like you can live a very uncomfortable life, I think. Hey there!

Meet Melissa And Her Mischief

Zoe Greenhalf 0:23

Welcome or welcome back to the Mischief Movement Podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot, or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know the change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and crank up the fierce as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episodes packed with actionable advice or interviews with some absolute badass human beings who've dared to defy the norm by living life their way, we're here to inspire, activate, empower, and challenge you each week. My mission is simple: to help you reawaken your rebel spirit, break free from mediocrity, and design a life that's anything but dull. You only get one wildlife, so what are you planning to do with yours? If you're ready to stop settling, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way, let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle up and let's go. Now, this isn't a here's my acute travel diary situation. Melissa writes about the real magic of wandering, the strangers who become mirrors, the random conversations that crack you open, and the unexpected humans who quietly, or not say quietly, reroute your entire perspective. Because let's be honest, we think we travel to see places, but really I think we travel to meet versions of ourselves that we haven't had the guts to become yet. In The People You Meet, Melissa explores what happens when you stop playing it safe, start saying yes and allow the world and the people in it to interrupt your carefully constructed plans. In this conversation, we talk about what travel does to your identity, how connection with strangers can be wildly transformative, and why stepping into the unknown might be the most rebellious thing you can do in a life that started to feel a little too predictable. So, welcome to the show. And could you tell everybody, please, what's your mischief?

Melissa Rodway 2:58

Well, hello, Zoe. Thank you so much for having me here. And I love this question because I don't know, it inspires a lot of different things for me. The first thing that I thought of when you said that is that um I'm a bit of um I ask a lot of questions with people. So when you said what is your mischief, I was I immediately thought of the reactions that people have to me because I am I think I'm a born storyteller and question ask, and I often go way too deep, way too fast with people. But I love it because I just I'm fascinated by human behavior and stories, and I feel I'm pretty intuitive, so I know who I can sort of go to these places with right away. But um I think to be honest, that question, what is your mischief for me, um connects so many dots. You know, I dabbled a little bit in um stand-up comedy, I've written a book, um, I did a podcast or radio show for many, many years. And the common thread in all of that is um I really just love to get into the nitty-gritty of people's lives. And um it gives me um an excitement and an interest and a sparkle. And some people think that I'm devious for like asking the questions that I do. Or yeah, like some people just, you know, people are very odd, right? But um I think it's that. I think I I kind of push people a little bit into like interesting corners of their stories and their lives, and um, that's something that I have been born with and um that I I love. So I don't know if that's the answer you're looking for, but that's what sparked it for me. Well, your honesty is the answer I was looking for.

Curiosity As A Life Compass

Zoe Greenhalf 4:46

So, you know, in terms of this um passion for asking questions and then storytelling, um, how has that played out in your in your life? Because it sounds like you're quite a multi-passionate. You've got different, you've dabbled in different things, you've experimented. Where's it taken you?

Melissa Rodway 5:05

It's interesting because I think we grow up thinking that we're all built the same, you know. We don't, we're not really taught when we're young to to pay attention when the light goes off in your body, when something suddenly feels magical and you think that everyone else feels the way that you do, be it singing or dancing or painting uh a picture or going for a walk in a forest. Um, I don't think we we really figure that out until a little bit later that those are our gifts and our our talents and things to pay attention to. Um so I think for me, kind of realizing that I was built in a way that maybe others aren't. I mean, I can tell from my reaction, you know, when some people are like, Melissa, I mean, you're asking all these questions, or I don't know. I think for me it's translated into so many things, you know. Um I think meeting strangers, um, you know, as we know, I or we'll talk about later, I I wrote a book about travel, but it's not really about the travel, it's about the people that I was meeting along the way, the stories that they told me, the way that they impacted my life. Um I think, I think it's that constant, you're you're just constantly curious. So it's led me to that. It's led me to doing what you do, like interviewing people. I had no idea what I was doing. I got um a volunteer position with a radio station. I started a radio show with zero training, but it's still that belief that you that you know people and you know how to talk to them and how to make them comfortable and how to open up to you and how to get them to tell you things that they're not probably gonna tell people. I've interviewed, I interviewed a man who was like kept um prisoner by a group of um children in a in a little gang in Africa. It was a terrible, terrible story. He had never told it before until he was on my he was fine, it all worked out, but he's like, I've never told that story in 30 years. So that's where a curiosity like it takes you down a path, it can help people, it can change people's lives, you know, that you didn't see coming just because people want to tell their stories. And um, I think we're I think a lot of people are afraid to ask people stuff. They're afraid to hurt people's feelings, they're afraid that it's too private. And um, and I just don't get that because I think the more that we share, the more we're the same, and the and people feel better and they feel more connected. I mean, certainly there are boundaries, right? You have to read the room and read the audience, and I'm not claiming to be this person that's um doesn't respect people, but I think we have to ask questions and it leads to places that are very, very interesting, and like even being here with you, and um, you know, we just had uh something happen in my family, and the um the even the the industry of like funerals and death and life, and like I find all of it so incredibly fascinating, you know, about people's stories and what they chose to do and where it led them and how we see them once they're gone. And I don't know, just humans are are wildly fascinating to me.

Zoe Greenhalf 8:26

Yeah, I'd I'd have to agree with you there. Um, and I love asking questions as well. But when did you discover that you had that capacity to, I don't know, to make people feel safe enough to open up to you? Because I think that that's something that um you can take for granted until somebody points it out to you and says, actually, not everybody has that skill.

Melissa Rodway 8:50

I think um other people started commenting on it, and I I can't pinpoint a moment. I'm sure I noticed it on my travels quite a bit with strangers where I felt like I knew them in five minutes, and other people around would be like, Wow, you you ask really interesting questions, and like people would just you'd be talking to one person, and then all of a sudden eight people are listening to the conversation in a group, or um I think it I think I just started noticing along the way. I'm sure in school um I was always a writer, I love telling stories, etc. But I I don't know that I really figured it out maybe until even my 30s, 20s, 30s, where other people would comment on on it and then you'd you know. I I don't really like small talk. So um it's interesting, right? I mean we have stories and they need to be told, and some people never feel even heard. And if you like kind of take an interest in someone, it it it changes the whole dynamic of a of a relationship, uh even a temporary relationship, you know. Um I I think it's just sort of come along the way.

The Book’s Origin On The Road

Zoe Greenhalf 10:04

Yeah. So you mentioned that you'd written a book, and I know that it's kind of it stemmed from some of your experiences traveling. Tell me how that came about and what's it all about? Because it's not just it's not about travel, is it? It's about the kind of human connections within uh traveling.

Melissa Rodway 10:24

So what happened is I was 35 at the time. I'm 51 now, but I was 35 and I had a partner from England, and he was big into travel, and that's how we met. We met on a cycling trip in Cuba, and so we dated for about four years long distance, which was awesome. I I'm a big uh lover of long distance relationships. Um, anyway, he was going on a trip through Southeast Asia and China to connect with luxury tour operators and hotels to make connections for future business. I was not in love with my job, and it probably circles back to exactly what we were talking about that it it wasn't like filling any of it was a very operational job. And so when you have more to give than that, it's very, very challenging, it's very soul sucking. So I there was no hesitation for me. Uh oh, yeah. Um so it was very easy. I quit my job, off we went. But when you, and this was like a multi, multi-month trip, but when you are with somebody who has a purpose and a goal and has meetings set up, and you're just the tag along plus one, it's a very, very different experience. And we had traveled for many years together, so we knew each other's styles, and that wasn't a problem. But after a few weeks in, I needed a purpose and I needed something. Because after three or four weeks of traveling, I mean, I love it, but your mind starts getting wasted a little bit, like for me anyway, that's how my brain works. So um, so I just started creating these long emails um in my head on buses and trains. It was 2010. We didn't have cell phones, so once a week I was in an internet cafe. Oh, the good old internet cafe days. Yes, right, yeah. So sending these stories out to people through email, and long story short, they got passed around and I should have started a blog, but I didn't, and 15 years later I turned them into a story. But yeah, you're right. It's certainly you will learn a lot about that part of the world, but it's really more about honesty, about where I was at in my life, um, how I felt about my relationship, my how I felt about being 35. I didn't have kids, I didn't ever want kids, I struggled being in a relationship because um I, you know, have a real need for independence and freedom. So there's a lot of stuff in there about that. And then it's about these people that just like come across your your way. And um, so there's a little bit of everything in there, and and when you do something like that, then it actually starts opening other doors for you. I think that's a thing we don't always realize in life. It's like when you take a leap into one thing, you have no idea what's coming next. You think, okay, I'm just gonna write a book and then I'm gonna chill out for a while. That is not what happens with anything, right? One thing leads to the next, to the next, to the next. So that's kind of an all another fascinating thing about being alive, I think.

Zoe Greenhalf 13:38

Absolutely. Um, yeah, I can totally, I can totally resonate with that because sometimes you do start something with half an idea in mind, and you think you're not expecting it to go anywhere. And often those are the things that lead to totally unexpected opportunities or phone calls or I don't know what. Are there any interesting things that have come off the back of writing this book? I'm sure there are.

Leaps, Self-Publishing, And Momentum

Melissa Rodway 14:08

Yeah, I think so many things. One is that you don't realize who it's going to impact. I mean, obviously, a main part of this is travel, but it's actually not travelers that have come forward. I mean, certainly they've read it and they can appreciate it, but it's just interesting. Like it's even what, you know, I'm not putting myself on that same level, but you hear musicians say, famous, famous singers will say, once you put a song out, it's no longer yours. It's up to everyone else and their interpretation. And the same thing has kind of happened, you know, people will come up to me talking about things that impacted them or their perspective on it that I did not ever see coming. So that's that sort of um connection to a community and to new people and different people I did not expect to see coming, and that's very lovely. Um, but I think it's many things, you know. It's um, you know, writing a book kind of inspired me to try stand-up comedy. It's it's I think once you scratch an itch, you can't go back to life as it used to be. And it's certainly if you do something on your own, like this was a self-published book. So you have to be super dedicated and strict with yourself. There's a lot of self-discipline, et cetera, et cetera. But once you kind of go through that, life is very different. You know, you're you're constantly chasing another project, or you've you've learned so much about this and you know that you can do it. There's a creativity. So certainly I'm writing a new book. Um I'm also really contemplating making a massive career change, which I don't know if that would have happened if I had done this. Um yeah, huge. I mean, it is it is life-changing to do things like this and to um and to prove to yourself that you can do things like this. I think there's yeah, you know the silly thing is when you write a book or you do anything, then all these people come up to you and they say, Oh, I would like to write a book, or I've always thought about writing a book. Well then do it. Because and like, you know, it doesn't really help me to tell me that that's what you want to do. Maybe it helps them, but it's like then you should do it because if we don't do these things, our body's gonna tell us for the rest of our lives that there's something that we didn't do. You know, it like that's that's something that I've I've really learned as an adult that and it's in my book as well that that your body knows exactly what you're supposed to be doing, but it's your mind that's constantly telling it not to. And if we don't listen, there's an agitation that develops in us that then get you know, we we're looking all at all these other places to like make that feeling go away, or and that's my experience. Um and until you address it, like you can live a very uncomfortable life, I think, not kind of following what you're meant to be doing, or I don't know, I think it's really interesting. And I guess for me, like this, I mean, that it took me 15 years to put this thing out because of what I just spoke of. Like I was in and out, do I do it, don't don't I, blah, blah, blah. And then um as soon as you kind of do something, yeah, things start changing and unfolding, and you have more confidence and um you meet new people and certain people and more inspiring people. It doesn't happen overnight, but um, I think it's like it's sort of you know, one small step at a time where the world starts opening up to you a little bit and unfolding, and yeah, it's interesting.

Zoe Greenhalf 17:59

Do you think that writing the book is the is an example of what you've just said? Like did you feel like you had it inside you and you were sort of wrestling with your mind to get it out, or are there other things that you're still feeling you need to do but you've been ignoring?

Fear, Approval, And Doing It Anyway

Melissa Rodway 18:16

I think both. I think I mean I was very lucky in some ways that 15 years ago the response to it, even like to these emails, was so positive. I mean, it wasn't just friends and family, then they started sending off to their friends and family, and so many people were like, What's coming next week? I love it. I heard about that for so long, so I was very lucky that I already had um an inkling that there was something to it. Yeah. Um, but I just I guess it was always sitting there. I always was, I always felt I had this story to tell, and I didn't know how well it would be received. It had happened so long ago. I didn't know if people would be like, oh, who cares? This was 15 years ago, but it turns out to be a timeless story. And I think it's also an interesting thing to read now when we're so everyone's glued to their phones and social media, it kind of is like going back in time, to be honest. Sure. Um, yeah, I do think we're all built with so many things that we won't that we think we want to do or know we want to do, and we block a lot of it out, and then I I think it just sometimes takes one act of courage and the floodgates open up, you know. So and I think age helps, you know. I think you like I am a very much an example of someone who had many dreams and listened to the wrong people for so many things in my life and didn't listen to my gut instinct. And I think that the older you get, I I read a quote, I think it was David Bowie's, like in your 50s you become the person that you are supposed to be, and I think that's very true.

Zoe Greenhalf 20:00

Yeah, yeah, I think age does really count for a lot. I love what you said there about one act of courage opening the floodgates because so often we block ourselves with all this fear and stuff. What do you think it was that prevented you? Was it the fear that nobody was gonna care about this story or that you wouldn't do a good enough job? Or I I don't know. What was what was it that you had to overcome in order to get the book out into the world?

Melissa Rodway 20:30

Um yeah, maybe it was gonna be embarrassing, or that people would be like, you know, I was worried I guess I was thinking that you'd have that reaction, like, oh yeah, really well done, Melissa. But I think I think what I the place I had to get to was to realize it wasn't for anyone else, it was for me. And I had to realize that I didn't care. If people liked it, great. If they didn't like it, that's fine too. But um, I knew that for myself it was something that had to be released, and um that's that's not an easy place to get to, but yeah, I think you know, I'm the youngest, and the youngest in a family is forever looking for like constant approval and um attention and whatever. And I I think people always say that being the youngest is the easiest, but I actually don't think that it is, and so you you know, you listen to your siblings who put you down when you're a little kid and that stays with you forever, right? So I was just like always sort of doubting myself, and then um finally I was like, nope, if I die tomorrow, I'll be very sad that I didn't do this. So I I guess it's more of that. I don't know. But I think again, it's that thing too, where it's like if something's nagging at you, like I it was always in my head, this story that was sitting there, and I just thought, what a shame. You know, I put all this work into it, and it's yeah, not gonna see the light of day.

Zoe Greenhalf 21:58

Yeah, I think so. Many people can relate to that as well. Um, that sense of there's something more I've got to give. Yes, and it's very hard to get past other people's opinions, self-doubt, um, all of those things, and there's a lot to be said for that moment of courage is actually in the decision, isn't it? It's like I'm deciding and that's it. Forward now, let's let's go.

Travel Doesn’t Hand You Epiphanies

Melissa Rodway 22:28

Totally, totally. And I was also very lucky because I had one friend who was an editor and I sent it to him, and I said, just tell me if if it's good, I'll do it. If it's not, I'll put it away. And he already said, You must do it. So I mean, it's also that, right? It's also about knowing who your people are and who to choose. And that takes like that's also a thing we learn through life. That's not something that comes naturally or easily sometimes, I don't think. We we're looking for the wrong people's approval sometimes. That's very true. Yeah, and that can change your life, you know, listening to the wrong people. I've listened to many of the wrong people, but not anymore. But I it's taken a long time to like navigate that as well.

Zoe Greenhalf 23:14

Yeah. Um, you know, people talk about how travel changes them. And do you think that it was the travel itself that changed you, or did it sort of help you to reveal what you already knew you had inside you?

Melissa Rodway 23:34

I think it's the latter, and I and I but the whole this whole notion that people go on trips to find themselves really irritates me, to be honest. It's so silly. And maybe that's a subjective belief that I have, but you hear it all the time, you read it all the time, I'm going away, I'll find myself. All that I I think it's BS. And um, never on a trip have I had a massive epiphany about my life because most of the time you're in survival mode trying to like figure out what comes next, or where's the bus, or what am I gonna eat, or who's this person entering my life. Um I think you have moments of of really feeling deep feelings about that moment, or being alone, or being with people, or seeing something, or doing something, or swimming in the ocean, or whatever it is. But um, for me, no, I think I think maybe it gives you time to think sometimes. Yeah. And that's a a beautiful thing about travel. But I am not I have never been a person that's had any epiphanies on on a trip.

Zoe Greenhalf 24:47

Have you? No, I don't think so. I think it's more um, like you said, it's the space to think, maybe that you don't often gift yourself, but when you're away, your routine is disrupted, and maybe you do find yourself um thinking differently because you're in a different environment and your routine's been shaken up and that kind of thing. Um, I think when I've been traveling on my own, um it's probably increased my capacity to deal with uncertainty because it's so uncomfortable at times, isn't it, when you just have to figure it out as you go. And and I think sometimes we don't get enough of that kind of experience in our normal day-to-day lives. But the minute you book a travel, uh, a trip, and especially a solo trip, suddenly you have to just think on your feet and you have to figure it out. Um so I wonder whether sometimes it's more that than a case of some big epiphany about who you are. It's more a case of the small things like, oh, I I managed to navigate this problem. Oh, look at me, I can actually handle certain things better than I ever imagined I could. You know, it does kind of make you think differently about who you are. That's just, you know, that's how it seems to me.

Melissa Rodway 26:10

Totally. I think it builds your confidence, I think it's skill building more than anything, right? Um and certainly like, yeah, you have moments where you think about your life and how maybe you want to live it differently or et cetera, et cetera. But um, yeah, I and I think maybe it's when you come home, is more when you reflect more than when you're in the moment on trips. I mean, but everyone's built differently. So I just think there's an overarching theme that that's you know what happens traveling, and I just have never subscribed to that.

Building Confidence Through Uncertainty

Rebel Reset Invitation

Zoe Greenhalf 26:43

Fair enough. You know, I've been talking to so many people lately who feel a bit stuck, not broken or lost, but just caught in that weird in-between where you know that you're meant for more, but you just can't seem to get yourself moving. Um, and honestly, I get it because I've been there too. That's actually why I created something new called the Rebel Reset. It's a 90-minute session where we shake things up, we cut through the fog, and we get you moving again in a way that actually feels like you. So if you've been waiting for a sign or you're tired of ending the year feeling frustrated, this might be exactly what you need. You can just message me reset on Instagram, or you can reply directly via text through the show notes if you're curious. All right, back to the episode. And have you got much to do with um radio these days, or is that something that you've put aside and now you're concentrating more on writing?

Melissa Rodway 27:55

So the radio show happened after this the trip in 2010 because when I came back I had zero money. I was gone for about four months and I had I spent like $10,000, which I don't know if you could do that now, if if I could get away with that these days.

Zoe Greenhalf 28:11

But um It's good to do these things when you're a bit younger, isn't it?

Radio, Multipotentiality, And Permission

Melissa Rodway 28:16

Totally. So I had no money, I really had to rebuild my life, um, which is not the fun part. And um and radio was a new adventure. It was something like the things we were talking about earlier that I'd always wished that I had done and wanted to do and didn't do it, and still regret that. And um and so I had met somebody who and I said, Oh, you know, I had always wanted to do radio, and they said, You can. You just go to the university, and the every university has a radio station, and they will teach you everything you need to know, and you can volunteer. And I think that is also a really interesting lesson in life that we don't realize when we're younger. And so for me, I feel like when you grow up, like I mean, I was born in 74, so um me coming into university, I felt at that time they said, pick something. You have to pick one thing, and that's what you're gonna do. Well, when you are like good at lots of things, maybe not great, but you have promise in different areas, that is a very difficult thing to be told. So if you because you feel like if you pick one thing, then everything else is cut off, and you're too young to realize that you can come, you can do these things, but at that point you're like, well, that's it. I'm picking one thing, and I better be damn sure about that what that one thing is. And so I was very unsure. It's so awful. And I think what I've learned later is that we can pursue all these things that were interesting to us. So radio and broadcasting and all of that was interesting to me. Writing was interesting to me. Um, it may not look like what we thought it would look like, and the trajectory may be different. But if you're interested in those things, you will do those things and you will find a way to do those things, and they're not dead to you and they're not cut off. And I think I don't know what it's like to be a young person right now. I have nieces and nephews, it doesn't look so easy either. But what I do think is a beautiful thing is that I don't feel that mentality exists anymore. I feel there is more of an attitude that you can do different things and that they actually interweave with each other and that and they feed into each other, whereas that was not our message. So um that has taken me a long time to sort of figure out. But that is something that I like to talk about on these shows because I think there's a lot of people that as they age they get stuck and they think it's too late, and I didn't do this and I didn't do that, and and I think that's such a shame because um because there's always an avenue. If something is of interest to you, it's not over, it's there for you, you just have to go for it, you know?

Zoe Greenhalf 31:02

Yeah, yeah, I I totally agree, and I've had that problem myself. Um, you know, I was born in '81, so similar mentality, you have to pick something and then follow that path. And it's only as I've got older that I've begun to think, well, what about that thing that I used to be really interested in that I haven't picked up? And and you know, I think to a certain extent, you've got to give yourself permission to go back to those things that you used to love. Um life doesn't happen in a straight line, no matter what they taught us at school, it doesn't work that way, and it's actually much more interesting and squiggly than we give it credit for when we're prepared to just maybe um take a U-turn or uh you know branch off left somewhere, you know. That's what makes life interesting, not sticking to the the regular path. Because quite often, from the people I've spoken to, that direct path just leads somewhere a little bit unfulfilling. Not always, but often, because people like you say, they they kind of get stuck. It's like, well, I've been doing this for so long. Like, how do I even how do I even get back to that you know, that thing that I put down 20 years ago or I never explored? Um, so I think it's you know, giving yourself the permission to say it's okay just to go back and explore it is fine.

Follow Your Gifts Or Stay Restless

Melissa Rodway 32:26

Totally. And then then I for those people, and I meet those people too all the time, and I wonder how it must feel to be in that body, because I do believe we're all given something. We don't all have the same gifts and talents, and I I I don't believe everybody can do everything. I think that's a myth as well, when they're like, you can do whatever you want. I don't think that that's really true. I think we're we're all given certain gifts and talents, and we know what they are, and if we ignore them, like that is that's a crime, I think. It's a crime for ourselves, it's a crime for the rest of the world and the community that we live in, and and it's again one of those things where um for me, even I've noticed, you know, I can be a pretty miserable person bec when I'm not like doing the things that speak to me. And when you tap in, you're a nicer person and you're a more giving person, you're a happy person. So if we can all just lean in a little bit, I mean, it might be what we all need, you know, to to like the thing, things are not great, as we all know at the moment. And um I just feel like we just really we really limit ourselves, and there's no need for that. I've met, and that I think that's one thing about traveling, is the people you meet sometimes are pretty pretty damn cool. Like I've met 75, 85-year-old people that are still out there backpacking and um teaching you things, and I think that is one thing I do love about traveling is um you know, there's a lot of people that are still acting like they're 25 out there on the road, and and they'll they'll they're young forever, and that's so cool, you know. That's um really inspiring.

Zoe Greenhalf 34:19

Yeah. Are there any people that come to mind when you think about people that might have made quite an impact on you? Those kind of meetings that you you don't foresee, but afterwards you're still reflecting on the things they said or the things they they they showed you. Um I wonder if any of them have been kind of serendipitous as well, where you've come away and gone, wow, like I was I was meant to meet that person.

Serendipitous Teachers On The Road

Melissa Rodway 34:48

Oh, definitely. I mean, the meant to meet I feel a lot um traveling because I feel like you're often meeting like-minded people that I think the people you meet are very different than the people in your social circles at home. Yeah, because when you're away, I think you're way more open to people. I think you're less judgmental, everything is unpredictable, so you're just kind of taking in whoever comes your way. But I also think that there is a connectivity with people that you may not have at home because you you're obviously out there for the same reasons, so you don't even have to explain yourself they get you. Um, so I that is a topic that I find quite fascinating, and I've met many, many people, like kindred spirits along the way. And no, but not always. Some people you're like, not for me, but um, and that's okay. But there is, yeah, there's one woman I met uh traveling who taught me really amazing lessons, and that was that's in my book, and she was probably in her 50s when I met her. I was 35, as I said, and she had done everything in the world, you know, she was so well traveled, and she had a child, and when I met her, her kid was with her on their school break, and she was dragging her around the wilds of like Thailand or wherever we were, Cambodia, I think, actually. So we were at a bus stop together or looking for a boat, or I don't know what we were doing, but going somewhere. And there were these two young women who were probably 25, they were backpacking, and she just started watching them, and then she looked at me and she said, They they're done, they need to go home. And I had no idea what she was talking about. And she just said, There comes a point in every long trip that you're you're over it, and you should not be here anymore. It's not fair to other people, it's not even fair to that country, and we're all too stubborn and too egocentric to like to leave. And that's that is a huge part of the journey. And so we it just opened up this new mindset for me because backpacking and traveling in general can be very competitive. You know, you'll meet people that are like, I've been on the road longer, or I have more stamps, or I've done this. It's just it's so stupid, but it exists, you know? And so luckily she had this conversation with me. And I after four months, I was done on this trip. And I think if I hadn't spoken to her about that, I wouldn't have left and I would have been miserable. I was miserable by that point. And so so that's a that is something that changed my view on ego, on listening to myself, on just knowing when it's time to tap out and go back to life. Um, and then I since then I've like actually used that to like I in 2023 I took a year off, but I was never gone longer than two months. Um, because I I know I get burnt out and I don't know. So she's stuck with me all these years later, but oh, certainly there's characters that you think about often, you know. But um yeah, those transient relationships are really quite something.

Zoe Greenhalf 38:04

Yeah, it's funny because I it you just made me think that when I was a kid, I used to have real issues with perhaps I'd go on holiday like with my family or something, and I'd make a friend, and I'd have that friend for a week, and then suddenly it comes the end of the holiday, you go back to your daily lives, and I would always feel so sad that that was over and I was never gonna see them again. And I've seen my son, who's eight, he also has this kind of sense of, but but I made this really good friend. Like, I can't believe that I'm never gonna see them again. And I think when you're a kid, that's a really hard thing to understand. And then as you become an adult, you realize that there are people who just kind of come into your life, people you just cross paths with, people who stay a bit longer. Um, but it doesn't make those relationships any less valuable, it's just a different kind of relationship.

Melissa Rodway 39:02

Totally, and some of those goodbyes are still really hard. I um spent three weeks in Colombia with some people, and I I was so sad to leave them. So I I think that some people are built like that, you know, you get very, very attached, and and yeah, some of these relationships are very powerful. And you know, I don't know if it's because you know you probably will never see them again, but you tell them things, you're very people are very open on the road, right? You have no one to impress. You have like that is part of the beauty of the I think of traveling, the freedom, right? To just be who you are, or and sometimes I think you are another version of yourself, you know, when you're not running around and scheduled and feeling responsible and this and that. Maybe that is the real you when you're away, the authentic you, and and maybe that's why these relationships are so much more powerful and honest and vulnerable and bonding, you know, you do things with these people that you don't do with people at home. I'm not climbing volcanoes with my work friends, and um, you know, like it's just uh it's it's so interesting that whole and I know I mean I met a partner traveling, I felt like I'd known him my entire life in a week. And um, and it is a very, very interesting topic.

Zoe Greenhalf 40:29

Yeah, maybe, maybe that's where this whole sort of cliche about finding yourself comes from. I think really probably the root of it is that sense of I'm actually able to be authentically myself here in this environment. But yeah, you said that you're you're writing a second book. What's it about? Can I ask?

Authenticity, Transient Bonds, And Openness

Melissa Rodway 40:51

Yeah, yeah. Well, it's about um, so I'm gonna do one more travel book. I have one more book in me that's similar to the one I did, um, obviously a different part of the world, and I'm you know 15 years older, so that's interesting. Um, so I feel I have a few more stories and you know things to share that way. And I also write with a lot of humor, and that's very important to me. Um, I just love connecting with people that way. So I'm gonna do that. And then I just have a sense that things are going to go in a very different direction after that. So um I'll just be very honest. I uh I have a real fascination with um the death industry, with like funerals and writing obituaries and and um telling people stories that way, and I just find it fascinating. And I always have, and that's another one of these things, right? We were talking about earlier. When something keeps coming up for you, you have to pay it a little bit of attention to investigate it and explore it. But there's a reason why things keep presenting themselves, and so I uh that's where I'm at at the moment. Um interesting. Yeah, and I just my partner's dad just died, and so we um we're meeting with a celebrant who they're non-denominational and they lead the service, but to me it like encaptures so many things that I'm interested in, like writing, comedy, because sometimes there's a little bit of there has to be humor, a little bit, sometimes what in the moment calls, um, you know, public speaking, presenting, all so I think sometimes you can over the years do like little bits and pieces of things, and down the road the they all start connecting, and I think I'm sort of in in that mode at the moment. So so who knows?

Zoe Greenhalf 42:48

But um, yeah, oh it's so interesting. It's um yeah, it's also it's funny that you talk about that because um over the last couple of years I've thought a little bit about that industry. I think it's because I'm chasing this idea that I want my life to feel really alive, you know, through experiences, through the people I meet, through through the stuff I'm doing. And I think when you do that, it does force you to look at the opposite end of the spectrum, you know. And and so I I've also found myself thinking about death and and and funerals and dying and the stories that we and the legacies that we leave behind. And um, similarly to you, actually, more than once I've had the thought of I wonder whether being a celebrant would be something interesting to me. It's not funny. I love it. I haven't explored that, so I'll be interested to catch up with you in the future and see whether that's come to anything.

Melissa Rodway 43:49

Well, I will let you know, it's very new, but um and I think it's you know, uh things that have happened for me recently, because this just happened with my partner's dad, but this is Not a new thing that I've thought about doing. So I I we for a week we were, you know, going to the funeral home and meeting celebrants, and I don't know, something in me was just like, I feel very alive in this. And then I went back to my job because I still have like a very soul-sucking nine to five job. And I was just like, I can't, like, this is this is not working anymore for me. I still have to pay the bills, so I have to figure this out. But um I think shifts start happening, you know, and what what has purpose and meaning, and um I still I do believe there's really something in working with other people and these connections, and and I also, you know, this is a terrible thing to say, but there will always be work in that industry, the death industry. For sure. You know, um, and AI is taking over our lives, but um, this is one area where we still can make a difference and help people, and and there's just so much importance. If you can do those things, you can do them. I don't know if you know Catherine O'Hara, she was um a Canadian who just died and she's a comedy legend.

Zoe Greenhalf 45:09

Yeah.

Melissa Rodway 45:09

And one of the quotes that she or things that keeps going around is she says exactly this. She's like, if you have a skill or a talent and you know what it is, it is your duty to to do it. It's it's not just for you, it's for everybody. And and that can translate into so many things. Like we get really stuck, right, doing things we don't want to do because we have to survive. And and I understand that too. I'm in that world as well, but yeah, we've got to explore it in our free time, I guess.

What’s Next: A Second Book

Zoe Greenhalf 45:40

Yeah. But I love the fact that even though you are feeling like this job that you have is very soul-sucking, you're you're not allowing that to stop you from exploring the things that do light you up. I think that's the worst place that people can be when they just kind of give up and go, this is it, I'm just gonna have to settle. And that's when I want to shake people and be like, you don't have to settle. It might just be that this is what you've got to suck up for a time.

Melissa Rodway 46:05

Yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf 46:05

But if you keep exploring those things, if you can maintain that sense of curiosity, even when everything else feels like you know, very heavy, in one way or another, you'll pull on a thread and suddenly you you know, the thing things will start to reveal themselves that you had never imagined. So um, you know, I guess I know it's probably not ideal being in this job, and I as I said before, I can totally relate. But um I think if you're blessed to have that kind of curiosity and a little bit of grit to keep going as well, then um eventually I think finding something that you are really passionate about or finding enough interesting things to fill the void outside of work, you can still have that sense of aliveness despite everything else.

Melissa Rodway 46:52

Totally. And sometimes I think, you know, I mean, I've met these people too that just kind of settle into a job and just decide that's the way it goes. But I think I know, I think for me that's what you know m keeps me like nope. I'm like, I don't understand how you can just do that, you know. Um you can't like they complain about it all day long, but they don't do anything else about it. Like to me, that's what keeps pushing me. So in some ways, I guess these mundane jobs, I should thank them, you know.

Zoe Greenhalf 47:25

Yeah, um, there's a there's a great book by Michael Dixon. I think it's called Everyday Creative. And um I don't know if you know it, but it talks about the fact that you might, you know, you're a creative person, put in a corporate box, and you feel like it's very soul-sucking and everything, you know, is draining from you. But he also has that kind of view of listen, you've got to flip that on its head because being in that place is helping you to rem remember who you really are and what you have to bring and to bring out of yourself in some way. So when it feels like it gets really heavy, remember that this is exactly the container that you need to remind you that you don't want to be in a box at all.

Calling Toward The Death Industry

Melissa Rodway 48:09

Oh, I love that. That's so true. I relate to that. Yeah. I was told once about the book called The Office Weirdo, and that my my one of my bosses came up to me and she said, You're the office weirdo. Like, tell me more. And she said, You're the person that shouldn't be here. Like, you're this creative person that for some reason ended up working in an office and you're very, very good at it, but you're like, you're and she's like, We're all supposed to celebrate that person because they're unique and they have all these gifts to offer, but this is not where they're supposed to be. I'm like, this, I don't know how to take this. No, I was gonna say, how did you take that?

Zoe Greenhalf 48:45

Yeah, we're supposed to celebrate them.

Melissa Rodway 48:49

Try it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. So I like your book better. That sounds um like one to read.

Zoe Greenhalf 48:56

Awesome. Listen, Melissa, um, it's been fabulous talking to you and getting to know you. Um, where can everybody find out more about you and get hold of your book?

Melissa Rodway 49:06

So the book is on Amazon. It's called The People You Meet. And just make sure you look up the one by me because I learned that there's many books by this. But I also have a fabulous subtitle. So it's The People You Meet, Luxury Leeches, Love, and Lao Lao with a host of interesting characters in Southeast Asia by Melissa Rodway. That's on Amazon. And then I'm on Instagram at um fly underscore travel underscore media, and then I have a website which I don't update nearly enough, but it's called flyroadway.com. I need an assistant, Zoe. I'd love an assistant. Me too. But no, it's been a pleasure speaking with you. Really, really enjoyed it. You asked great questions and I loved our conversation. Thanks so much.

Soul-Sucking Jobs And Creative Grit

Zoe Greenhalf 49:52

Listen, keep in touch. And when the next book is ready, do let me know. I will. Maybe we'll start a celebrant business. Why not? So before we go, here's a quick roundup of my takeaways from Melissa. Number one, curiosity is a superpower. It can take you down a different path, it can change people's lives. Don't be afraid to ask questions. They might lead to somewhere really interesting. Number two, when you take a leap into one thing, you have no idea what's coming next or the positive impact it might have on someone else, whether that's a book, a blog, a podcast, or a simple post on a social media platform. Three, Melissa said your body knows exactly what you're supposed to be doing, but it's your mind that's constantly telling it not to. So if you don't address it, you can live with a lot of discomfort until you do. Number four, sometimes we get derailed by listening to the wrong people, so choose carefully whose opinions you are willing to ask for and accept. Know who your people are. Five, one small act of courage can open the floodgates. Ask yourself how you would feel if you were to die tomorrow with that thing still inside you. Six, you might not have an epiphany about your life if you go travelling, but it will probably give you time to think situations that build your confidence and the opportunity to be your authentic self among strangers. Seven, is there something you've always wanted to try but felt too scared, too late, too old, or whatever else? Maybe this is your sign to go back to it. Volunteering can be a great entry point or finding a community online with shared interests. Number eight, you don't need to pick one thing in life. I hope if you're a regular listener to this podcast, you know this by now. But it's always worth saying again, if you're interested in different things, go and do those things. You've got this and you can make them happen. Nine, life gets interesting when you step off the common path and give yourself permission to carve your own. And number 10, maybe the things that are meant for us will just keep knocking on our door until we open it and let them in. And perhaps all the things we do in life are connected to our real purpose in one way or another, even when they seem totally unrelated. Maybe we get to join the dots looking backwards. Wait, hang on. Before I go, a quick note. As this podcast moves towards its final chapters, the best place to stay connected is my mailing list. That's where I'll share what's unfolding next when it's ready to be shared. Without noise and without rushing. You can also find me on LinkedIn, where I'm still very much around and thinking out loud in public. There is something new taking shape behind the scenes, but I'm giving it the space to fully form before I speak about it properly. If you're curious, patient, and happy to sit in the in-between with me, you'll be in the right place. Thanks for being here, and I will speak to you again soon.