Ep.88 Jo Fiddy: Rewriting Midlife And Reclaiming Your Power Through Menopause & Perimenopause

What if perimenopause isn’t a cliff but a doorway you get to walk through on your terms? I sat down with Menopause Mentor and Motivational Speaker Jo Fiddy to flip the script on midlife, swap fear for agency, and talk through the science that makes change feel less mysterious and more navigable.

Jo shares her story of stress-induced menopause in her 30s, the brain–ovary connection, and the moment she chose compassion over punishment. We dig into how language shapes the nervous system, why “it’s coming for me” spikes cortisol, and how a simple reframing—this is an invitation—creates space to support your body. You’ll learn what EFT and Rapid Tapping actually do in the brain, how they can ease anxiety fast, and why neuroplasticity matters when your hormones are fluctuating. We also explore practical pillars: boundaries that protect energy, protein-forward meals, resistance training for bones and muscle, and the underrated power of a daily walk for mood and cognition.

We move myth-busting into action by using research as preparation, not prophecy. Think symptom tracking and bringing a clear log to your GP. We talk grief for past selves, rituals that help you pivot, and the creative edge many women find as the brain refocuses from reproductive to productive priorities. Whether you’re already navigating hot flushes or you’re simply curious about the years ahead, this conversation delivers grounded tools, steady reassurance, and a rebellious reminder to own your transition...

Chapters

• 0:00 Welcome And Episode Setup
• 1:35 Meet Menopause Mentor Jo Fiddy
• 3:45 Reframing Menopause As An Invitation
• 6:40 Jo’s Stress‑Induced Menopause Story
• 10:50 From PR To Coaching And Hope
• 13:35 EFT And Rapid Tapping Explained
• 18:00 Hormones, Mood, And Stress Management
• 21:20 Walking Forwards: Grief And Mindset
• 25:20 Boundaries, Self Care, And Lifestyle Shifts
• 28:20 Myths, Fear, And Brain Upgrade
• 32:00 Using Science To Prepare, Not Panic
• 35:20 Daily Habits To Ease Transition
• 38:00 Tests, Tracking, And Medical Checks
• 41:00 Agency, Puberty In Reverse, And Support

Transcript

Jo Fiddy: 0:00

And this is where I help women with the grief, with the unraveling, because it is so powerful, but it's learning to walk forwards and saying to yourself it's rebellious, but you know, really saying to yourself, the besties are in front of me. And having that mindset, I feel is key as we enter midlife and beyond. I don't want to spend the next 40 years looking backwards through life. Hey there.

Zoe Greenhalf: 0:22

Welcome or welcome back to the Mischief Movement Podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot, or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know the change can feel scary. So let's turn on the fit. You only get it. So what do you want me to do with yourself? If you're ready to stop setting, start living bullying and create a positive impact along the way. Let's go. You know that moment when your body sends an urgent message? Loud, impossible to ignore. For many women, perimenopause or menopause can feel like that alarm. Hot flashes, stress, mood swings, brain fog, all telling you it's time to pause, reset, and practically your life is over. Well no. I want you to meet Joe Fiddy, a menopause mentor and motivational speaker, blending energy psychology and tapping with mind-body tools to help women in midlife calm their nervous system, release stress and press play on their life again. Whether you're a woman navigating these changes or a man wanting to understand and support the women in your life, please give this episode a listen because Joe's approach gives practical science-backed tools to help reclaim the calm, find confidence and joy, even in the middle of life's big transition. If you're ready to stop surviving, then this conversation is for you. Oh hello. So this week I am back in your ears, this time with the wonderful Joe Fiddy. Welcome to the show, Joe. And could you please tell everybody what your mischief is?

Jo Fiddy: 2:46

My mischief, I feel, is my approach to perimenopause and menopause. I think that's my mischief. It is different, it's a celebration, and it's something to really look forward to.

Zoe Greenhalf: 2:58

And I just confided to you that to me it feels like a really terrifying thing. Um, how on earth do we turn it from this terrifying experience to something a bit more rebellious, a bit more empowering?

Jo Fiddy: 3:15

Right. Well, let me take you by the hand and we will both run a rabbit hole together. Well, first of all, it's not surprising you're terrified, okay? So let's talk about the language being used. It's coming for you, you can't outrun it, there's no escaping it. Instantly, your nervous system is gonna be terrified. It's gonna be like, it's coming for me, it's coming for me. But I always think rather than see Perimenopause or her as coming for you, what if she's an invitation? What if actually in the world of the Russian woman, we're constantly rushing, we're constantly putting everything else before ourselves? What if if it's an invitation to come back to yourself, to tune into your body and tune in to what you really, really want? And with perimenopause, talking about what it is, it's actually your body knows what to do. And I we'll talk about the unraveling and what it can be, but in essence, your brain and body are working for you in order for you to thrive in the next chapter, and what's happening is your brain is actually rewiring, it's a dusty renovation, it can be very frustrating, but it's going from reproductive to productive, and that's where we're going.

Zoe Greenhalf: 4:33

Okay, that sounds a million times better than what I had in my head already. How did you then get into this world of focusing in on perimenopause and menopause and and how did you end up in the coaching space?

Jo Fiddy: 4:50

Yeah, that's such a great question because originally I was working in PR and I was there working in London. I was just scuttling around, you know, my heels and my black green, all of this. And I suddenly, it was quite quick, I would say, but I just started to not feel very well. I must have been in my early 30s or mid-30s, and suddenly it felt like I didn't know my body anymore. I felt like I was dropping balls all the time at work, I couldn't concentrate properly, so my hair was kind of falling out, and I was just sweating a lot, and I didn't know what was going on, and my period stopped. And I think you don't realize the power of your hormones until your hormones start to speak at you. And they said, like, hey, hang on, what's going on? And in essence, what happened was I broke my own body. I would say I had enormous stress, I was not taking care of myself, um, I was going through a divorce, and then my father had also passed away. And I feel all of this had come onto my body, and my body went into a state of menopause for about three years, and no one knew what was wrong at that time. Um, I was going for brain scans, so much stuff. Um, and it wasn't until later that a specialist said to me that what happened was is that my brain had stopped speaking to my ovaries. And it's like, wow, and why this also kind of blows my brain, like fast forward it to now. So fast forward to now, and I help women with stress. I understand how mischievous and disruptive that cortisol can be on your body, and how and how you can feel when you feel lost in your own body. And for me, I also sank down um into depression as well at that time in my 30s and just felt utterly lost. And I just wished I had someone to help me through it and also give me hope. And I feel my approach comes from hope and knowing that you can come out the other side and you can heal, and that's where that comes from. And then just to add, I talked about my ovaries and my brain, but a brand new study's just come out, and again, it's unbelievable that shows that our ovaries are actually um an ecosystem and they're wired to our nervous system to actually. Okay, that makes a lot of sense. And I think as women, we've known this for years, like our periods up, they can't stop, and so they're now finding there really is a link between like the brain, the nervous system, and the ovaries. So I feel like my specialist was metaphorically actually scientifically right.

Zoe Greenhalf: 7:30

That's yeah, it's so interesting because I've never heard of essentially menopause being brought on by stress. Is that what you'd say it was? It was the stress that was for me.

Jo Fiddy: 7:42

It was stress. So I'd created this state for myself, and then actually, but what happened was three, I was into about three or four years, I would say, I came out of it. So I was in it, I was told, um, and this is my own, my own personal journey of what I had, and so I could not have children, all of these things, and then later I then came out of it. Um, I changed my lifestyle, and and now I'm going through perimenopause again, it feels like, but this time with so much understanding, so much compassion, and just really having some more empathy for my body because previously, I'm I mean, I'm open to tell you that I drank way too much back then. I was causing havoc to my body, I wasn't taking care of myself, I was gaining weight, and I thought um, you know, going to a spin class at 5 a.m. would solve all my problems, and then wondering why my cortisol was so high. So I've yeah, I've I've been through it and now I'm going through it again, but a lot different.

Zoe Greenhalf: 8:41

Yeah. That must have been really devastating, I think, to be told that. Like, I don't know, I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes and feel like in your early 30s, somebody's already saying to you, that's it, uh, menopause is here, and maybe you're thinking, I'm I'm not quite ready for that.

Jo Fiddy: 9:03

I didn't know what it was. Honestly, that back then, like 10 years ago, I mean, no one, no one was talking about it at all. Yeah. And I remember not knowing, and honestly, when they said that word, I I honestly imagined like the golden girls or someone in their 70s, I had no idea. And I remember they just sat me down, and I can I can still see the doctor's room, and I did not understand what was going on. I think it's that feel that feeling of just feeling so lost in your own body and your mind as well. And you're like something, something feels terribly wrong.

Zoe Greenhalf: 9:38

Yeah. And so, how did you go from that period into then coaching on this particular around this particular subject?

Jo Fiddy: 9:48

Yeah, so for me, I felt so anxious. One of the symptoms that I had of my that experience previously was anxiety, and I found EFT, which is emotional freedom techniques, and it is like tapping, it's talk therapy whilst tapping. And it was the only thing that got my body to feel better. It got rid of the anxiety, and I could think clearly, and I just felt better. And as I was like, my goodness, this is so good. I've got to help other women, and I was thinking, I want to, I realized that my PR career, whilst I loved it, it was killing me. I was just how I felt in my body, and so so and then I went into I want to what can I do? I want to help women in the same situation, and so I went into EFT, I did tapping, um, also NLP to understand mind patterns, and now I'm also trained in menopause coaching, so I can really understand the science to support with strategies, and I also do rapid tapping. So I feel like you know, we've all half read the books or we all listen to our lovely podcasts, and we we all kind of think about what we want to do, but we never do it. So I help you actually get over the block to do it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 10:59

Amazing. And tell me more about emotional freedom technique or tapping because I mean how how does it work? And when you first started, how often were you doing it before you started to really feel like this is genuinely working for me and doing something?

Jo Fiddy: 11:15

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, first session, really. Well, really, immediately. Yeah, just took the so I do two, I do EFT, I also do rapid tapping. So EFT is fantastic at subconscious blocks, like inner child work, going quite deep. You're getting your score down. So if you feel stressed, we're getting it down and we're healing in that modality. It's quite therapeutic. And tapping is really, we're doing it already. It's like, you know, when you're stressed, you like rub your eyebrows and your face, and you hold your chest and you hold your heart, I mean your head. And that's exactly what you're doing with tapping. You're speaking your truth, you're saying how you feel out loud while tapping on acupressure points on the body. And what this does, which is incredible, I still don't really fully understand how it can work, but it actually sends a signal to your amagdola in the brain that you're safe and it disrupts the cortisol, and you immediately feel safe and calm. And I also noticed that um look at Dr. Lisa Bosconi, that perimenopause is very much in the brain, and tapping works on the same areas of the brain that are impacted in perimenopause. So I feel like it's supporting your brain health and also your nervous system. And then rapid tapping is your mood boosting, it's very similar, but instead of like getting your score down, you're getting it up, you're rewiring your brain. Um, it's neuroplasticity, it's mood boosting, it also works on the subconscious as well. And that's one that you can use daily. That's a really good one.

Zoe Greenhalf: 12:47

Fantastic. It actually feels quite rebellious in the in the way that you're proactively not combating the symptoms, but you're kind of saying to your body, I'm not gonna take this, I'm not gonna take this lying down.

Jo Fiddy: 13:08

When you think about it, when you're in when you're in perimenopause, what's happening is this progesterone is going down like this, and we don't realize how lovely progesterone is. It's like a little anxiety buffer. I don't think we we don't really, we don't really appreciate it till it's gone. And then each one's like wildly going up and down, all like this. And what can happen is, you know, your your cheerleading hormones, you know, dopamine, serotonin, and gap, what they do is they go up and down as well. And it is rebellious because it's saying, Do you know what? I am going to boost my own mood. I'm gonna support myself. And you know what cortisol? Because it's elevated in perimenopause, off you go. I've got this, I'm gonna support myself because stress management is just as important as strength training and nutrition in my mind.

Zoe Greenhalf: 13:53

Yeah, um, completely, completely agree to the whole sort of holistic approach. You said something lovely on your website. You said Rise and Vibe, which is the name of your coaching business, isn't it? Was born when I realized that I was walking backwards through life, and it was time to wake up and start walking forwards. I love that so much because in my own life I have been through periods where I just felt so stuck and I just wasn't sure how to take a step forward. So talk me through that moment, what was going on for you?

Jo Fiddy: 14:31

Yeah, definitely. And I feel like when you hit your 40s or when you feel like you're entering perimenopause, there's a shift that happens and it's an unraveling, it can feel like an unraveling, as and it can be, you know, it's obviously hormonal, but I feel like we enter a stage of our life in our 40s and for over 40s, not for everybody, but I certainly felt this where you're suddenly really conscious of your age, and you do find yourself slightly veering towards the past, you know, what your life was like in your 30s, that freedom you had in your 20s, it could be the the body you had, whatever it was. And what can happen is you start going, oh and I do feel there's a grief process in this before we do go forward, and that grief of I miss the life I used to have. I remember I was with a friend and I was 41, and I said I thought it would be better than this. I felt quite numb and I felt very sad. And that's when I realized what I was doing. I'd stood still, and I felt like I was actually, I wrote this down actually in one of my journals, is I felt like I was standing at a funeral at my previous life, looking at the body and life that I'd had and become still. And when you're walking backwards through life, longing for the past, you miss all the incredible things in front of you. Yeah, and I reached a moment I was like, I have got to move forwards because when you think about it, for many women, we've got another 40 years to go. Are we really and truly going to walk backwards for the next 40 years? I'm sorry, that's a long way to go. And it was that realization, you know, come on. And I just did a lot of deep work and healing, and this is where I help women with the grief, with the unraveling, and with this part because it is so powerful, but it's learning to walk forwards and saying to yourself, it's rebellious, but you know, really saying to yourself, the best you are in front of me, and having that mindset, I feel is key as we enter midlife and beyond. I don't want to spend the next 40 years looking backwards through life.

Zoe Greenhalf: 16:50

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Jo Fiddy: 17:54

Yeah, for me, um one of the one of the ones was uh well why? Why do I feel this? What is it? Why do I feel invisible? Why do I feel that my story doesn't matter anymore? Why do I feel this way? And I noticed that's when I looked at really in beliefs. What are my beliefs? What was I what were my beliefs growing up? You know, not to, you know, I'm I I love I am a feminist, you know, not to really bash the patriarchal system, but it is that feeling of the woman over 40, you know, was meant to disappear and exit stage left. You know, why is that? And that rebellious feeling of no, I'm not going to exit the stage. And that was one of the first things I did was to question why I felt this way. I also looked at the perimenopause journey I was on and looking at my, you know, looking at my health, looking at my mental state, looking at how I actually was feeling at that time. I do say if you are listening to this and you feel that you are down and you've been down for a while, and it can feel like sometimes that you had life was full colour, now it's gone grey. I just want to say if you feel that way, one, you're 100% not alone, and you can get help. Do speak to your medical team, do speak to somebody who can support you. You don't have to suffer through perimenopause menopause. We always say it's not your mother's menopause, not your grandmother's menopause. I just want to make sure that people hear that, that there is help that you can go, go and get some help to.

Zoe Greenhalf: 19:25

And what did you do then? Did you acknowledge those beliefs and then look at how you could change them?

Jo Fiddy: 19:34

Yes. So what I did was I I went through a grief process, I kind of really acknowledged, I had a bit of a ritual, I really acknowledged, and I was thankful for what I've been through, thankful everything I had. And then once I did that kind of little ceremony for myself, but then I was like, right, okay, we're moving forwards. Where do I want to be in five years' time? What do I want to be doing in 10 years' time? I said to myself, I don't want to be stuck in this waiting room because we can be stuck in a perimenopause waiting room, waiting for menopause, when actually, if you take care of yourself now, it impacts your future. And so I was like, right, how can I take care of my body? Because rather than two choices, you can either loathe your body, and I think when you're at war with your body, you're at war with yourself, or I could take care of it. And that was the first step is taking care of my body. What am I eating? How can I nourish myself? You know, how was I actually feeling? Boundaries was a really big one for me. It was looking at my boundaries. Where was I stretching myself? How can I protect my energy? How can I protect myself? And it was piece by piece of learning to love myself again, and then start creating opportunities in front of me.

Zoe Greenhalf: 20:44

And so just on the sort of timeline of your journey, was that before or after you'd started coaching?

Jo Fiddy: 20:52

So this part, this was in the middle. So I was coaching already, but I wasn't, I was learning about menopause. And I guess actually, this is beautifully actually that you've yeah, this bit is um, I started to learn about what perimenopause was and menopause was. And that knowledge was power. And this happened in that in that pit, that bit there. I had been coaching before, working with women, and then as I learned about menopause, I felt I was learning and going on the journey with some of my clients at the same time.

Zoe Greenhalf: 21:21

Properly in the messy middle, as we say. Yeah. So many women enter their 40s feeling anxious about what's to come. I'm just holding my hand up here. Um, what myths about perimenopause and menopause do you hear the most often?

Jo Fiddy: 21:39

Oh my goodness, such a great question. Well, we spoke about the language, or is it running after you, it's coming to get me? One, yeah, I think it's um you have to sit it out, and that you have to just put your life on hold for menopause. That life is all downhill from here. Like if you look at Gen X, they are smashing it. And if you look at women in their 50s and their 60s, and that's a great thing to do as well. Look at the women in front. Don't look at the women, you know, 20s, 30s and make you feel a bit like who look forward to the wonderful women in front, because they are, and life gets really fantastic. If you ask anyone in their 50s and their 60s, they'll give you a big smile. They're like, Yeah, they're absolutely rocking it, and also that you're not losing your brain. It can feel that you're losing your brain, but actually, what's happening is, and neuroscientists are studying the brain at the moment, is you're getting a new one. So your brain is upgrading. They're saying that your new your intuition is a bit sharper. You know, you hear about the zero Fs that women have, and your brain starts working for you, and you're not driven by your ovaries anymore, and you become more powerful.

Zoe Greenhalf: 22:58

Well, this sounds wildly better than what I've heard before, I must say.

Jo Fiddy: 23:04

Yeah, yeah. I think I think I think what happened is, and I I believe it anyway. When menopause first started, then people started talking about menopause and perimenopause and all of this stuff. I think what happened was it just put the fear of God into everybody. Yes. Everyone thought, I'm gonna get every single symptom. And another another myth is your journey is your journey, just like when you started your periods, just when you everything that you've been through, so you might not get everything you hear about, and it's different for every single person, and it might not be every day, it might be up like format electrical little bit like a tap, might be this on one month, that on that month. You might not have anything, you might have all of it, and there's so much that you can do to help yourself. So I think it's really important that when you read about stuff, yes, please do, but know that it might not apply to you.

Zoe Greenhalf: 23:57

I'm sure that's where the root of the fear comes from, because it's that whole unknown, isn't it? You just don't know. Am I gonna be that person who just kind of cruises through and barely realizes that they've even entered into menopause? Or am I gonna be that person who's having night sweats 10 years before and every other symptom that they talk about? Because the list seems quite long, and that also worries me.

Jo Fiddy: 24:19

Yeah, it gets longer, I feel, every single year, and rightly so, because I think I think also something also that's really positive is this is the best year to ever be in perimenopause because the science is finally catching up. Like we have more information than we've ever had throughout the whole of the perimenopause, menopause, post-menopause journey ever. So we're going through it strong so far, and more information's coming in. But use that information to support yourself. So when you hear about oh, you know, bone density and bones and muscles can go down, you know, they go down from 35 onwards, be like, great, okay, great to know. That means I'm going to incorporate strength training and cardio for my heart to support myself. Great, we know that now. Okay, good. When you hear other things, for instance, um beauty eyes and fractured hips and all of this. Like, okay, I know this now. How can I support myself here? What can I do to support myself? One thing you can do, for instance, is you hear about, you know, you lose your balance, is start practicing your balance now. Stand on one foot with your toothbrush, practice power poses like this, you know, with a you know, chi collective row, it's just phenomenal at stuff like this. Because what happens is when you fall, you catch yourself. You know, start lifting up, doing the granny gains. Where do you want your suitcase to go on the plane? So when you hear when you hear the symptoms, clock it, I think, okay, how can I support myself? What can I do?

Zoe Greenhalf: 25:48

Yeah, I think that's very sound advice because as you said, like knowledge is power. And when we understand what could be coming at us, we can we can actually prepare ourselves.

Jo Fiddy: 26:02

We can. I mean, for instance, I went through one month of having just really dry, itchy skin, like for no reason. I was like, oh, what's this? Oh, yeah, yeah, that's that's perimetaphors, you know. Some people have like in their mouth, in their eyes. One thing I will say is please, please, please, if you're listening, get your teeth checked. They do say sometimes with women with their gums, but they become more inflamed. So if you have not had your gums cleaned in a little while, because we push that stuff back, don't we? Because you know, we do, please get your gums checked because perimenopause also impacts your mouth. I always say that because I feel we should just know these little nuggets. And again, that means get your teeth checked. Yeah. Who who knew?

Zoe Greenhalf: 26:41

Like, you know, that the mind-blown emojis goes. Um, do you think there are like some sort of small daily practices or very little mindset shifts or even little habits that we can start to adopt that might make that transition easier?

Jo Fiddy: 27:01

Definitely. I think the one of the first ones is talk to your friends. I think perimenopause brings friendships back together again because we're all going through it. Text your friends, have that conversation that actually shows it can help with oxytocin and dopamine when women get together, and that can drop in perimenopause. So, number one, get in touch with your mates, which I think is just gorgeous. Yeah, go on a walk. You can walk is so good for you. It's really simple, doesn't cost anything. You can go for a walk around the block, it supports brain health, also supports those dopamines and those lovely happy hormones in your body. Um, adding more, adding more um protein into your diet can also help if you're feeling like hunger. So just add some add some extra protein into your foods. Um, I really um I'm one of those that does add the protein powder in the coffee in the morning. So my body has that little hit of protein with the coffee. Um, little tiny habits like that can really, really help. And then the biggie for me, I would say, is stress. Like imagine you've always run through life and you've been drinking a cortisol cocktail or a coffee, you know, a coffee cocktail, whatever it is. And normally you've had single shots in there, and that can be running late for the school run, um, you miss a deadline, you've got to work on a deadline, all of that stuff, and that's gonna top up your system. But when we go through perimenopause and menopause, it's like those shots have doubled, and so you're gonna feel more anxious. So I would say every day find a practice that helps you feel better, just five minutes out of your day, even if it's having a cup of tea in the garden and just staring at the sky. Yeah, just try and lower that cortisol cocktail that you're drinking to help. I love that we're doing.

Zoe Greenhalf: 28:46

Yeah. Um, I suppose one of the things that I wonder about is when the list of perimenopausal symptoms feels so long. How can you be sure that you've entered into perimenopause? Can you be sure? Are there is there a test that you can do, or do you have to tick off so many symptoms from the list and your doctor might say, Well, it looks like you might be there, or like how like what happens?

Jo Fiddy: 29:16

I know it's so overwhelming this part, isn't it? No, and also you can feel like I've got it, have I got it, have I got it, have I not got it?

Zoe Greenhalf: 29:23

Exactly.

Jo Fiddy: 29:24

Yeah, it's you've made have you got it? I don't know if I've got it. Are we in the club yet? Exactly. If you are, and I live in I live in Munich, so I'm just gonna check if you're around the world, um, it might be different for you. But if you are under 40 and your FSH and your hormone levels are low, and you feel like you're experiencing parimenical symptoms, they will they will most likely run a blood test to check for all different things. They will most likely run a blood test. If you are 40 45 is a bit of an area after 45, they most likely. Won't do a blood test because it's like they'll go on symptoms alone. They should go on symptoms alone. But I will say, do get um, do get your like your cholesterol checked, your thyroid checked, your insulin, your iron checked, get all of these things checked at the same time, no matter how old you are, because it's always great to know the baseline and to make sure there's not anything else going on. I think that's important. I think we can peg a lot to perimenopause, you know, rightly so, but you know, get that thyroid checked, get everything else checked to find out. One of the first um experiences of it might be is that you just feel like something's off and you don't feel you don't feel like you in yourself. And that can sometimes just be one of the first indicators like early perimenopause that you're going through. You just don't feel like you. And one thing you can do, so even though blood tests are unreliable, and the reason blood tests are unreliable, by the way, is because your estrogen is going down up and down so much. So it could even change by the day. But what you can do is track it, and I don't just mean track your cycle, but they start tracking your cycle, by the way. So track your cycle, but track your emotions, track your symptoms, start tracking everything. There's some fantastic apps, or go old school and use some paper. You know, I felt super hot that day on this day. I felt really down that day. I'm not normally that down. I felt anxious for no apparent reason. Um, I felt like there was little bugs crawling all over me. I couldn't stop itching on that day. This day I couldn't stop crying. But start being your own detective. So then what you can do is you're then mega empowered. And when you go to your doctor, you can say, Hey, this is what it's like for me right now. These are my symptoms with my cycle. Because again, we are all so different. So you might be having regular cycles or you might not. It's all very, very different per person, plus, women's health is still behind. So, you know, so do that's my biggest tip is to do that.

Zoe Greenhalf: 32:02

Yeah. I think the overarching message I've got from speaking to you is just that if we can take responsibility for this rather than feeling like we are a victim to this sort of natural change, it will flip the experience on its head.

Jo Fiddy: 32:23

Yeah, absolutely. It's changing the narrative of what this is. What it and also, what is what is menopause? What is this journey? Is puberty in reverse? That puberty has much more empathy and much more understanding. Is the light hasn't been shone so brightly yet. But it is it's empowering, it's really, really empowering. What you do now really impacts your future. How we take care of ourselves now really impacts our future. And we feel everything. You might find that you're more creative because you're feeling things more. There's so many pluses.

Zoe Greenhalf: 32:56

To be honest, you you literally radiate that vibe of it's all gonna be okay, which I think is fantastic for anybody, you know, that that ends up working with you. Um, because you kind of want that. At least I want that when it comes to it. I want to know that I'm in good hands and that it is gonna be okay. Um, or is that you know, you're talking about reaching out to your friends and and um reconnecting with them and stuff, and we've already started swapping the messages. We know when somebody's somebody pipes up and goes, Oh my god, I'm getting these sort of these sweats, like where's that coming from? And then somebody else chimes in, oh really? Well, I've got this going on, and then somebody else chimes in and I'm like, oh god.

Jo Fiddy: 33:40

But it brings you back to the I think also I think no, it does, but if it's so if you do get sweats, just by the way, if you do get sweats, you get hot, that's progesterone. So that um and what you can get is um you can go and see your doctor, you can get progesterone, and that can help, or going on the mini pill can help with nice sweats. So what you want to do is you wanna like if you're having a hot flush, if a friend of yours is having a hot flush, be like, I'm having a power surge. I'm having a power, someone did that, and I was like, I'm gonna bank that. I love that. It's having a power surge, but you own it, own your menopause, own it, and don't let men take it away.

Zoe Greenhalf: 34:21

There was one thing I was gonna ask you a bit. Are there any um any resources, any great books, um, any great podcasts that you think, oh my god, I recommend these to all my clients?

Jo Fiddy: 34:34

Yeah, definitely.

Zoe Greenhalf: 34:35

I would say uh Dr.

Jo Fiddy: 34:38

Mindy Pelz. I love she has a brand new book coming out, Age Like a Girl. I'm super excited to um see what that's all about. I feel it's very aligned into what I do, the celebration. Um I do love Dr. Louise Newton, what she has, she talks about mental health and also some very insightful um hormone supports. Also, uh The She Collective, Ro, I feel like her workouts are incredible for perimenopause. They really are. I use them all the time, um, they are absolutely fantastic. And also, Dr. Mary Haver has just released a new podcast. I haven't listened to it yet, but I feel that's gonna be an interesting one too. It's worth noting that um aging is also a privilege, and always remembering that that aging is a privilege. Um, my auntie, I remember, I must have been between seven and nine. She never lived to see her 40th birthday. And I feel that's an echo of the message in the work that I do, and it gets me emotional even now. But I feel that's a message that's that's always in the back of my mind as well that we are going through this. It's not, you know, it is an unraveling, it can be a bumpy journey for some, but we are coming out the other side, and we can there's so much more we can do, and we're here and we're all in it together.

Zoe Greenhalf: 35:54

Yeah, absolutely. Jo, um, it's been wonderful and eye-opening to chat with you, but I definitely feel less terrified.

Speaker 2: 36:07

Yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf: 36:09

And it's so good to know that there is a lot of support out there. Um, how can people find out more about you, about working with you, where can they connect with you? Yeah, absolutely.

Jo Fiddy: 36:22

So I do um one-on-one coaching and I support women in the unraveling. I do 90-day coaching, and you can find me over at joefiddy.com and I will be there. And yeah, I help women through the process and we go through what do you want? Because those big questions come up. What do you want? Where are you going? Who do you want to be? And what's stopping you? Plus, menopause strategies and tools so you understand what's going on, and that's that's how I help women, and you can find me there. And also on um Instagram, I'm always posting on there at Joe Fiddy underscore. Amazing.

Zoe Greenhalf: 36:59

Thank you so much, Jo. No pleasure. Thank you for having me. Need a rebellious recap before we pop off? Okay, here you go. Number one, your body is working for you and knows what to do, and you can help things feel less scary by choosing your language carefully. Maybe don't tell yourself it's terrifying like I did. Number two, I was today years old when I discovered that menopause can be brought on by stress. I guess it figures, since stress can be the root of so many issues we experience within our bodies. But stress management is one way you can look after your body through these changes. Three, if you are in perimenopause or menopause, you might want to explore EFT, emotional freedom technique, or tapping to help reduce stress and boost your mood. Number four, to understand how you really feel, get super curious. Start asking yourself questions to get beyond the feelings and discover the beliefs that lay behind them so you can then work on changing them. Number five, you don't have to get stuck in a perimenopause waiting room expecting the worst and putting your life on hold. Acknowledge what has been, which may even feel like grieving. But you can now choose to move forward with knowledge and empowerment. Number six, it may feel like you're losing your mind to brain fog and not feeling like yourself. But essentially, your brain is changing and getting an upgrade. Number seven, your journey is your journey. You may get one symptom, a handful of symptoms, all the symptoms, or actually none of them. Just like going through puberty, everyone's menopause can look really different. Eight, there's never been a better time to go through these changes because we have more information and therefore more tools to support ourselves than ever before. Nine, talk to your friends, share the information, support each other through these changes, and not only will you feel less alone, but you'll also boost your oxytocin and dopamine thanks to the feel-good vibes of close friendships and connection. And number 10, if you're in any doubt about whether you're in perimenopause, start noticing your emotions and symptoms and tracking them. Start being your own detective so you can go to your doctor with evidence about what's going on. Finally, I just want to add that if, like me, the idea of going through menopause and the uncertainty that brings does feel scary. I hope this episode has given you some reassurance and some sense of empowerment. We get to feel rebellious, whatever age we are. It's so much to do with our own mindset and how we're able to flip the script on what society tells us it could be like and then how we take responsibility for it. And as Jo says, you just gotta own it. You can even click the link in the show notes to sign up to my Mischief Mail newsletter where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret. For more info on ways to work with me and some fun free resources, check out the website themischiefmovement.com. Until next time, stay bold, stay rebellious, and of course, keep making mischief.