Ep.70 Joy, Authenticity and Be a F*cking Disco Ball! DJ Flourish & The Self-Love Rave

*FYI THIS ONE'S A BIT SWEARY!* 

Join me in a raw conversation with Caroline Kelf, also known as DJ Flourish, as she takes us on her journey from feeling disconnected to discovering joy through the pulsating beats of house music. Caroline, the charismatic force behind the self-love rave movement, shares her philosophy that joy is key to living authentically. Our discussion dives into the transformative effects of music, how it has shaped Caroline's personal journey, and her passion for empowering women to embrace their unique brilliance.

We delve into the essence of self-love versus self-care, exploring how genuine self-acceptance involves embracing all facets of ourselves. Caroline articulates her views on the healing power of community, the thrill of DJ-ing at Happy Place Festival and the liberation found in expressing oneself fully on the dance floor. As we navigate through her story, guests can expect to uncover valuable insights about facing fears and taking bold action in their lives—echoing the “f*ck it” energy that Caroline lives by!

This episode is more than just a discussion; it’s an invitation to reawaken your rebel spirit and step into a world of unapologetic self-expression. Whether you're a longtime fan of house music or simply looking for ways to infuse joy into everyday life, I hope this conversation sparks inspiration and empowerment so you can weave more of what lights you up through your own life... 

Find Caroline here: https://djflourish.co.uk/

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to Joy and Purpose
• 10:00 The Journey into DJing
• 20:00 The Role of Music in Personal Transformation
• 40:00 Embracing Authenticity and Self
• 1:00:00 Creating Connection through Raves
• 1:20:00 The Rebel Spirit: Taking Action on Ideas

Transcript

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 0:00

The one piece that was missing was my joy, and I knew that my joy was linked to my purpose, and one thing that had always brought me joy was house music. So I thought, oh, I'll just give DJing a little bit of a whirl, just see what happens. And then I just came alive.

Zoe Greenhalf: 0:19

Hey there, welcome, or welcome back to the Mischief Movement podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know that change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and crank up the fierce as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episodes packed with actionable advice or interviews with some absolute badass human beings who've dared to defy the norm by living life their way. We're here to inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. Inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. My mission is simple to help you reawaken your rebel spirit, break free from mediocrity and design a life that's anything but dull. You only get one wildlife, so what are you planning to do with yours if you're ready to stop settling, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way? Let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle way. Let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle up and let's go. Hey mischief makers, welcome back to the podcast, where we celebrate bold moves, rebellious spirits and unapologetic self-expression.

Zoe Greenhalf: 1:42

Today, we're turning up the volume, literally, with the incredible Caroline Kelf, aka DJ Flourish. Now, Caroline is the powerhouse behind the self-love rave, a movement that's helped over 5,000 women step into their power through music, movement and pure joy. She's DJ'd at major well-being festivals, had over 30,000 listens to her mixes and is on a mission to help people embrace their unique brilliance because, as she puts it, we're all disco balls made to shine in our own way. In this episode, we get real about self-love, authenticity and the courage it takes to truly be yourself. We chat about how Caroline found her voice as a DJ, the magic of music in personal transformation and why showing up unapologetically is the ultimate act of rebellion. So if you're ready to turn up the volume on self-love, break free from the ordinary and shine exactly as you are, this episode is for you. Well, this week I'm actually having a conversation with Caroline Kelf, also known as DJ Flourish, but I won't say too much because I want to ask you what is your mischief?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 2:54

Oh my God, we're going straight in there, straight in there, no messing about. What is it? My mischief is to be more me every day in order to inspire other women and other people to be more them every day. And I do that through a variety of ways. I do it through my self-love raves, which are the ultimate dance experience for women to tap into joy and freedom and ultimately, back to themselves. I do it through my writing. I write for Substack and I record podcasts and I talk very openly and honestly about my own journey, where I've come from and what I'm going through on a daily basis in order to be more authentic, which really helps other people feel less alone and inspired to take the action, and all that kind of stuff. And then I also do through speaking gigs, so I speak at places and about this I just turn up as me and hope that it inspires other people.

Zoe Greenhalf: 3:52

I think it does, though, doesn't it? You've had some really positive feedback about the experiences that you've created, and they're not just raves. They're actually about tuning into who you are.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 4:07

Yeah, it's a full on experience. That takes the. I'm just getting up my feedback that I had from this week's raves. I'll just read you some of those in a minute. Basically safe haven where they can dance freely to amazing tunes while celebrating themselves and celebrating other women, um. So I'll just read you a couple of the. Um, yeah, go on message.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 4:36

I was enveloped in an empowering and joyful atmosphere that radiated from the incredible women around me. This was a mind-blowing, powerful and emotional experience. I left feeling emotionally rejuvenated and inspired, unexpectedly, content with newfound confidence and countless beautiful memories. Wow, yeah, there's just something so wonderfully joyous about a room full of women letting themselves be swept up by the beats and the music. I've never raved so intentionally before and something totally magical happened that I can't put into words.

Zoe Greenhalf: 5:15

I love that. I mean, I love the word intention as well, because it's this idea that I always talk about designing your life, being intentional about it and not kind of living on default. So I have to ask you was it your intention for some time to start doing these raves? How did you get into?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 5:36

that it was definitely my intention to have the impact that I'm having on people, but I didn't know what it looked like. That's interesting that I'm having on people, but I didn't know what it looked like. And but I definitely yeah, I definitely felt that. So I I started like this kind of self-development journey about 10 years ago and I knew that a part of it would be me stepping into some form of leadership role and making change. But I didn't know what that looked like of leadership role and making change. But I didn't know what that looked like. And I did. I'd done all the like you know, all the journaling and the self-care and learn about how to, you know, put my needs first and all the things that you do. But the one piece that was missing was my joy, and I knew that my joy was linked to my purpose, and so I went on a bit of a discovery around things that brought me joy, and one thing that had always brought me joy was house music and clubbing music, because I was a massive clubber back in the days. So I thought I'll just give DJing a little bit of a whirl just to see what happens, and then I just came alive. I literally as soon as I pressed play, I was like this is it? I know that this is it, but I don to people talking to my friends, talking to my girl soul mates, you know, just like I know, that DJing has something to do with this. I don't know what it is, but it's going to come in and I'm waiting and I'm going to keep talking about it, keep talking about it.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 7:19

And then we went into lockdown and I was like right, I'm going to start doing some online raves. Absolutely shat my pants, didn't know what it looked like, but I just creatively thought right, okay, I'm going to put together this little event, which is I made everyone do these rave arms, right. First of all, I did it with kids and with men. I did this online rave and mums and I made everyone do these rave arms and got everyone doing all this weird shit. And then I did a little 10 minute mix at the end. And then I was like, oh my God, that was just well scary. And, yes, I know, it really lightened everyone's mood, but I don't want to work with kids and I don't want to work with men. So, straight away I was like um, I'm gonna take this, um, move this into women. So then I was like, right, I'm gonna start doing some online raves with women. Who wants to come? And this core group of women rocked up every day for 15 minutes at 8am during lockdown.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 8:22

I put together these different mixes and I was like, right, because I was so creative with it all. I was like, right, we're gonna have a drum and bass day, we're gonna have a house day, we're gonna have a self-love day, we're gonna have an empowerment day, and I like just pull. It was just a creative outlet for me, um, and I over the year, I did 150 raves and built up a library of over a thousand tunes. So I know, so I did all that in a year. I was like a woman on a mission and then I took them on the road, I took them out on into the world, um, and trialed them whole way along. I've trial tested, asked people what they like, what they don't like, all that kind of stuff, and it's just grown and grown and grown.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 9:09

And now, first of all, it was about the joy in the music, and the self-love aspect was really important, because that's a part of me that I've struggled with and I know that in order to let go and dance and to really enjoy myself, there has to be a level of safety and also a level of feeling like I'm good enough and not comparing myself and not going into my head.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 9:35

So I thought, well, I think other women might actually appreciate that as well.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 9:39

So that element comes into it too.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 9:43

And then now what's happened is because the raves are getting bigger and bigger, I've just got this vision of like it not just being about me delivering them, it's about the women who are part of my team delivering it too.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 9:57

So I have hype women too, and they come in as volunteers and they are given full permission by me to be their unapologetic selves on the dance floor, but also to be able to give back to other women and the energy that they create on top of what I'm creating is just magical. Walks in, they walk into this room of women who I've just hyped up and got completely like excited and feeling fucking shit hot about themselves, who are then passing that on to the women who are walking into the room, and then, when we start dancing and coming together, the energy is just like it. Well, it's like what women are supposed to do. Do you know what I mean they're supposed to come together, but it's so different to to go into like a women's circle or like a, you know, like a women's retreat or something. That's a beautiful energy and I absolutely love that, but when there's dance involved it just becomes even more magnified what happens then?

Zoe Greenhalf: 11:07

I I'm guessing it's.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 11:08

It's a different energy, really it just feels like truth, but you didn't know that that's what it felt like, so I can't describe it to you. It's the truth, so it's how we, we're meant to feel as women together, versus comparing, separating, judging, putting other women down, feeling inferior towards other women. It feels like connection, it feels like togetherness, it feels like a massive celebration, celebration. It feels like you want those women to be happy. You're like I'm seeing these women happy. I'm seeing that that woman smiling, I'm seeing that woman crying and I'm just feeling this deep connection to her.

Zoe Greenhalf: 11:58

Why do you think you've had this reaction? Why was there such a call and a need for these?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 12:07

experiences, because we live in a patriarchal society and so there's a massive need for them. But in terms of my own journey and why I'm driving it so, so deeply, is I just know that my soul is driving it and I don't have a choice. I just don't. I don't have a choice and I'm like I've got the skills, I've got the vision, I've got the creativity, I've got the support at home, I've got the support of amazing women, so there's just no way that I can't do it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 12:43

I love that amount of self-belief that you have. It's not self-belief, though, because I have so much fear as well, and self-doubt it's untrue. You can. You can have the fear and feel really uncomfortable, but still believe deep down that you can do this thing, and what I've seen from you in the short time that I've known you is that you're very good at sitting in your own discomfort.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 13:13

Yes, well, fucking hell, I am. I am, but I'm also used to putting myself through a lot, so that's actually like you know, that's something that I've. It's not necessarily the most loving thing I can do to myself sometimes, so you know, but yes, I am. I am getting much better at sitting in discomfort. There's just something about me that, even though things are uncomfortable, I have to stay true and I have to stay honest and I have to keep doing what I'm meant to be doing. I've got like an that inner strength is so strong in me, even though I go through so much discomfort, just this desire to be so deeply me.

Zoe Greenhalf: 13:59

Have you always had that or is that something that's emerged since you started on the self-development journey?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 14:06

I've definitely had it all my life to a point. But I definitely conformed a lot more when I was, you know, growing up and in early years of motherhood, but now I don't conform as much. Um, I've had to.

Zoe Greenhalf: 14:24

Yeah, just tell everybody what's written on your jumper today oh yeah, my zero fucks club yeah, in case we were in any doubt, and so you said you also like doing speaking and writing now. So what are the themes that you're that you have for this vision, because I know that you want to take things beyond the raves and beyond the music. Um, is it all to do with helping women to be more authentic? Yeah, 100%.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 14:56

I firmly believe that the more we accept ourselves and then shine a light on our uniqueness and our gifts and our talents, the more we will do what we've come here to do and we will have a part in world healing and raising the consciousness of our planet. That's what I firmly believe. So I believe that being yourself means that we're going to heal the world. It is profound, but we also have to really kind of accept all the parts of us that we don't like too. That's part of it and that's what I talk about in my speaking.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 15:42

And with the raves, you know, at the, and with the raves, you know, at the beginning of the raves, I say there's going to be parts of you that are going to be resisting this, maybe telling you that you're too loud, you're too out there or you can't move. I don't know, I'm just going off on a little tangent now. But basically there are parts of us that we have to get to know and love, um as well, that might be trying to keep us safe, um, but are also parts that we don't really like about ourselves. But they need to be validated as well. And then there's also the other parts that need a light shining on them and need to be encouraged to come out more. So I say that with my raves and I talk about it in my writing.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 16:28

I talk a lot about being more disco ball, because a disco ball's got like let me just get my disco ball for you. So a disco ball's got like you know it's got loads of parts to it. Got like, um, you know it's got loads of parts to it. And and the more we get to know all of those parts, um, and welcome them and then shine a light on the ones that need shining the most, the bigger and bigger and bigger the ball gets and the shinier and shinier it gets.

Zoe Greenhalf: 16:55

And that's, you know, world healing in action in my, in my eyes yeah, you know what I like about the analogy of a disco ball as well. It's that sense of you get to shine the light where you want. The disco ball has the capacity to show you certain facets and also hide certain facets, so it's a really good analogy for how we are as humans, isn't it?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 17:19

Yes, it really is, and obviously it's got the nod to music, and I absolutely love disco balls.

Zoe Greenhalf: 17:26

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Zoe Greenhalf: 18:17

What are some of the struggles that you personally have overcome to get to this point in your life where you feel I wouldn't say comfortable because you've already kind to get to this point in your life where you feel I wouldn't say comfortable because you've already kind of said to me that you do a lot of things that are uncomfortable, but perhaps more sure of yourself in that if you've got an idea you're going to go with it, Because you know I don't think that that necessarily comes naturally to everybody. Sometimes you have to go on a bit of a journey to get to that stage necessarily comes naturally to everybody.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 18:43

Sometimes you have to go on a bit of a journey to get to that stage. Yeah, I think what I'm good at doing is taking action basically without knowing where something's going, which is really hard because people like to go oh, and I do this like working it all out in the head. But what I've learned is, even if you work stuff out in your head and then you do it, you learn loads anyway. And the learned is, even if you work stuff out in your head and then you do it, you learn loads anyway, and the stuff that you thought was going to happen in your head doesn't happen. And the stuff that doesn't happen does happen.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 19:10

For me, like professionalism and creating experiences that are really, you know, impactful is really important to me, but I I don't know what's going to happen to those women. I can just basically create something that comes from my heart and soul and stick my professional stamp on it and then have to let go, and so that's what I've learned is that I get an idea, I get a feeling I'll do as much as I can towards it, and then I just have to put it out there and see what the hell's going to happen.

Zoe Greenhalf: 19:49

Yeah, there's a lot to be said for both being an action taker and also sitting in uncertainty. Yeah, you know a lot of people like you said they won't take the action until they're certain about how the thing's going to pan out, and they've've planned it all yeah. I love this idea that you're just going to take the action and see where it goes.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 20:09

Yeah well, I did it earlier this year and it's still feeling wobbly for me because I launched my sub stack about six, seven months ago, which is um, a weekly podcast where I share openly about my life and what I'm going through in an order to help inspire people to live more authentically. It's very real and honest and I was like I need accountability for journaling because otherwise I won't do it myself. And I know that my honesty really inspires people, because when I send emails out about what's going on in my life, loads of people, loads of my mailing lists, come back and they say you're the only email that I read. It's so real, it's so refreshing. So I was like right, I think more people might like this, but I don't know where it's going, what it looks like. So I just put it out there and was like I've started this.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 21:00

At the moment it's quite in its raw form. I'm going to just play around with it and then see what happens. And now it's turned into what it was going to be like one or two pieces of writing. Now it's turned into a weekly piece of writing. But then now I'm also having, I'm feeling that it needs to move into another direction at the moment, and I'm at the point now where I've got feedback from people, I know what they like, I know what they want and I'm about to pivot it into another direction now and put some real oomph behind it in terms of the branding, what it looks like, because I didn't know what it was going to be, and that was really brave of me to put that out, knowing that I'm going to get judged probably by people or people just don't get it, don't want it, you know, rejected because it's not the raves, it's totally different and it's very raw because it's me. But at the same time, my soul wanted to do it, so I did it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 22:08

Yeah, and how's the Substack going, because you only started it this year. Yeah, it's going really well, is it?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 22:16

getting traction. It is getting traction, definitely Good, definitely. I don't think people realize how inspirational it can be for them, because it's very different to what other people are doing. I'm not giving, I'm not saying right, this week we're going to do a vision board this week. We're going to do this this week. We're doing that.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 22:38

I'm not overwhelming anybody with anything. I'm literally sharing deep insights from someone who is on a very deep journey to living authentically whilst overcoming addiction, control, perfectionism, um, and having a child and being a wife and running a business and has a lot of, you know, fear and low self-worth. So it's yeah, it's really really honest and very vulnerable. But also, like my advice to myself is fucking shit hot because I've done a lot of work on myself and I've worked with a lot of people the top people so it's actually like like therapy for £3.99 a month for people, seriously, because it's so relatable. That's what everyone who is a paid subscriber has said to me. So I've been getting feedback. I'm having feedback from them all again in a couple of weeks. That's also really important to get feedback. So I'm now ready to go. Okay, I'm owning that now. I'm really owning what that is and getting more clear around it with people and sharing more about it, and getting more clear around it with people and sharing more about it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 24:11

I'm just interested to know like I struggle to take action if I can't see what the thing is going to be Like. Would you have any advice for me or for somebody else who's like I've got this half idea? I often talk about this. I have these kind of half ideas and I can't quite envisage the full thing. So I put the brakes on and go oh, not quite ready for that yet, but it sounds like you're right, just plow ahead anyway. Like how do you get to that point?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 24:33

Do you know what? I talk about it to people a lot. So I've got so obviously I'm now going into corporate and doing talks, but I still don't know what that fully looks like, because I don't know who the audiences are, I don't know how I'm going to get in with people, I don't really know fully what I'm going to say, but I've just got a feeling about it and so I know in my mind that I'm doing it, that's it. I'm doing it, but I don't know what it looks like. So I think it's just the decision that it's going to be done which is a signal out to the universe to say I'm doing it. I don't know what it looks like, but you need to show me the way.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 25:15

And last week I was doing a festival and I met someone who goes into to loads of corporates and and does loads of some talks and stuff, but she's also a trainer and she trains women on their keynote speech and I was like this is what I need, this is what I need, I'm excited. So so that is, one person's been met that brings all of it together for me just one person. Because I've got the idea of the speech. I know what I'm going to say, I think, roughly, she can help me put it together and she can train me with like voice projection, confidence, all those kinds of things. So I just get the feeling of where I want to go next and what I think is right, and then I put it out there and I talk about it. I mean, my poor girlfriends they're like Caroline, what are you, can you just have a rest? You know, because I deliver something and then I get an idea for the next thing, and then I deliver that and then I get an idea for the next thing.

Zoe Greenhalf: 26:15

But I won't stop talking about it because it just brings it into the current moment yeah, and did know, like when you started writing, what sort of direction that was going to go. And did you just have a feeling that you wanted to write and then you were like I'm just going to see what comes out.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 26:31

I knew that I wanted it to be a place where I can to refer to on a daily basis in order to remember my commitment to myself and all the things that helped me, depending on what I need.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 26:43

So like I've got posts on there about navigating highs and lows, because I go through highs and lows and then I've got posts on there about dealing with my inner critic, and so when those things come up, say if I'm in a low or if my inner critic's really high, I can just go back and listen to that and it just helps me. So it was actually intentional to be for me first, which is everything I and that's something I haven't really said everything I have created and put out there has been for me first, always, and it's about my joy. My, and then anyone who works in my team is the same thing. It's about your joy and your growth, and then anyone who comes to my raves or listens to anything, it's about their joy and their growth. I knew it was going to be a place for me to help myself in order to help others, and it still is going to be that. But I can feel a shift and a change coming, but I don't know what it is yet I'm just feeling into it at the moment.

Zoe Greenhalf: 27:46

That's cool.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 27:46

What does that feel like? It feels like there's a bit of a dam in front of the river in my body. So when things are totally in flow and aligned and everything's exactly how it's meant to be, I feel like I've got like a river flowing through my body and I feel very connected to everything I'm doing. When this starts to feel like there's a bit of a dam or like a blockage, it's like right, something needs to shift and change here. I don't feel like that with the raves. The raves feel like a river just flowing like crazy through me. The speaking stuff, I'm, I'm. I can feel the river is flowing, but there's more to kind of come in. But I don't need to know about that yet. I think I'm quite intuitive. And then, obviously, with the, with the, the substack theack, I had the river flow six months ago, but now it's like there needs to be a change because I can feel like something's blocked in my body.

Zoe Greenhalf: 28:51

I find it really interesting your, your sort of level of self-awareness or, yeah, your sort of intuition and how, how you lean into that very heavily to know which direction to go in and what to do.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 29:04

Yeah, yeah, and I can feel it. When people ask me to do events or things come up, I can get you know. Even if they really make sense, I just get like, uh, I can't do that, I just can't do it. So I've I have to say no to a lot of events as well.

Zoe Greenhalf: 29:27

Yeah, I was really sad actually that I couldn't make it up north over the summer to get to Happy Place and rave with you, because that would have been really fun.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 29:36

It was insane. They were wild at Happy Place. All these middle-aged women think that they're like you know, just coming along for their yoga retreat, and then they get to my rave and they're like bloody hell and they absolutely love it incredible.

Zoe Greenhalf: 29:54

Um, do you have a music background or is it just stem from the djing that you developed sort of later on in life?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 30:03

Yes, just from going out and clubbing for like days on end. You know I was into music from like age 10, 11, 12. And then I started getting into house music and stuff from about the age of 14, more rave music and old school and stuff like that and jungle, and then that just continued, continued. So I've been massively into music.

Zoe Greenhalf: 30:26

I definitely have a musical ear, though yeah, yeah, but it wasn't, you know, wasn't necessarily a career path that you had before. No, nothing.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 30:36

Nothing is, and this is what's so beautiful about it is that I have no qualifications. I'm'm not like you know everyone, and this sometimes concerns me because, you know, when I do happy place and things like that, it's like all the women there are either like Reiki practitioners or they've done their yoga one, two, three, blah, blah, blah. And I'm not. I'm just rocking up as me with this concept that I've created. It's not been proved by anybody before, but it's really fucking powerful. So actually I think it's a testament and a huge message to be more you and do those things, even if they don't make sense.

Zoe Greenhalf: 31:26

Absolutely. I 100% agree, and I actually love the fact that you just made a point of saying that you don't have any qualifications for this, because you have leaned into your passions and just leaned into being the most you version of you. I love where it's taking you. It's really exciting it's really exciting.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 31:49

Yeah, it is exciting I did when I did Mind Body Spirit a couple of weeks ago in Birmingham. It was the most diverse crowd that I've ever had in my life, really, and oh my God, I had every single age in there, every single culture. Just, it was just and my mind started going into are they going to like the music? Is this the right set? Am I? What do I say around the self-love, because not everybody's going to get it. And I was like the only thing I can do in this situation is just bring even more of me, because that's it, and I have to remember that over and over and over and over. Not everybody's going to like it, not everybody's going to get it, but the more I bring of myself, the people who do get it are going to get it on such a deeper level.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 32:39

Yeah, so that's another thing. Like you know, when you're trying to, you know you're putting yourself out there on socials, you know that people are judging you. When I first started DJing the, the looks, my family, the mums at the school, all that kind of stuff like, oh, she's having a midlife crisis, blah, blah, blah, all that kind no one ever said it to me, but I can see in people's faces, you know, and I press the discomfort in other people as well, but at the end of the day, that me being more me and me doing that has really, really um made an impact on people and I I've learned now not to, not to concern myself as much with what other people are thinking I haven't spoken a lot about.

Zoe Greenhalf: 33:28

Actually, you know how I make decisions, um, and I think that's really interesting, though, and it's really interesting for me, speaking to you now, to hear this sense of I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but actually it's going somewhere and I know it is. But also I have a little bit of an issue with self-belief, but also I know I'm really like this is constant contradiction inside you, so I think so many people must feel that way.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 33:58

Yeah, so it just shows that, just because I'm jumping up and down behind the decks and I've got all these testimonials and I'm growing and growing and growing, I'm still that little girl and I'm still frightened and I'm still, you know, overwhelmed. So I do also do that thing where I'm like, right, well, I'll want to overthink something before I start it, but I don't anymore, but yeah um, in terms of then, where you see things going in the future.

Zoe Greenhalf: 34:30

I know that you want to keep going with the writing and you want to sort of branch out into the speaking, but have you got any big goals that you'd really like to nail next year or in the next few years, or is it very much a case of just see where things take you Well?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 34:47

I have a big event next October in Manchester. So I'm going on tour next year with the Raves across the North. I'm doing a couple in the Northeast and then I'm taking it across the North the Rave but then we all come together in October for the ultimate self-love rave in Manchester and that is at the monastery I think I'm not sure yet, I haven't signed the contract yet but so that's 500 women. It is the most magical venue and magnifies the energy that I was talking about at the beginning. So that's that. And obviously I've got all my speaking gigs I was talking about at the beginning. So that's that. And and obviously I've got all my speaking gigs. I want to speak at happy place festival. I'm putting that out there. I want to be on the talk stage this time as well as doing my raves. So I put that out there to the universe.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 35:42

But also, my ultimate goal, um which not many people know about this, only people on know about this is I'm my ultimate goal is to set up a foundation to support charities that are helping kids to live authentically, so that we can get this message out from day dot um and we don't all have to get to the age of 40 and realize what the fuck have I been doing?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 36:11

This is who I am, you know. And for them to find their joy, for them to find what lights them up, and you know, that's the ultimate goal and I will 100% do it, 100%. I've got a vision. I've got a massive vision of a big charity ball, um, where we raise a lot of money for those charities, but I don't know what the charities are yet and I keep, I keep talking about it and putting it out there, but nothing's coming forward because divine timing, it's not ready. It's not ready for me to do it yet. I need to get stronger as a speaker because I'm going to be lobbying and campaigning and all that kind of stuff with it. I can feel it it. Yet I need to get stronger as a speaker because I'm going to be lobbying and campaigning and all that kind of stuff with it. I can feel it, um so I need to get.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 36:56

I know I need to get stronger as a speaker first. Um, and that's another thing, like the whole divine timing. I was talking about my raves before. I knew what I was doing for years, until it happened and it wasn't really yeah, it wasn't until we went into lockdown, and so I I do really believe in divine timing too yeah, what happened in lockdown then?

Zoe Greenhalf: 37:20

did you? Did you just get a feeling that that was the moment?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 37:24

well, it was an opportunity. Yeah, it was an opportunity and it just presented itself to me.

Zoe Greenhalf: 37:35

Would you say you're quite good at sort of seeing and then grabbing opportunities when they come along.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 37:38

Yes, 100%. Yeah, I've got a fuck it attitude to stuff, which is what I talk about in in my raves and everything. It's like fuck it, just give it a go. The energy of fuck it is like reckless, is wild, it's like brave, it's courageous and it and it's and it's quite naughty and that's what I am and so, yeah, so I think, fuck it. If anyone's out there and they're like oh, I've got this idea, instead of going be brave, be brave. That's really boring fuck it instead, fuck it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 38:18

I love it. Oh, Caroline, it's been so fun chatting with you and I can't wait to. I will make it to one of your raves because I really, really want to come and experience it for myself. Where can people find out more about you then? What is your sub stack? Well, my sub stack.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 38:36

Just look up caroline kelf and you'll find me, but all my links are on my website um djflourishcouk, and also instagram at ravewithdjflourish.

Zoe Greenhalf: 38:51

Amazing and one thing I hadn't actually asked you but like what's your experience in actual event organizing? Because this is just snowballing now. It feels like have you got any of that experience or are you just kind of forgive the term, making it up as you go?

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 39:07

along. No, I do have event experience term making it up as you go along. No, I do have event experience, I do. Yeah, my former life I was an event manager and a PA, so I have highly organized and I have a lot of experience in things like that. So, yes, I'm very good on the vision and the experience, not so much on all the practical things.

Caroline Kelf (DJ Flourish): 39:30

So I've got people helping me now with all of that, which is great perfect and it's such a good use of, like previous experience and now bringing it in to create these kind of experiences that bring you the most joy yeah, and I really think that that's important to say that, like you know, everything that's led me up to this point, it would have led other people up to where there are we'll have, you know, nuggets of wisdom and gifts and talents and everything that could be brought together, um, in order to create whatever you want to create. That's what I mean about the disco ball. Everybody is so different and unique and it's about you know, using all parts of you, and that's just what I've done with this. I've taken all my best bits and created something from my best bits.

Zoe Greenhalf: 40:23

I love that and it feels like the perfect place to stop. So thank you so much, Caroline, and hopefully I get to dance with you in real life very soon. You will, because you're coming on the 2nd of october, okay, oh, amazing. Are you ready for my key takeaways? Off we go.

Zoe Greenhalf: 40:46

Number one if you feel stuck or lost in life, discovering or rediscovering the things that bring you joy is an absolutely brilliant place to start. Two self-love isn't the same as self-care. If we want to show up authentically, we have to learn to embrace and validate the parts of us that we don't like as much as well as the ones we do. Three think of yourself as a disco ball. There are parts you can shine a light on, parts that are hidden, and the whole ball is multifaceted, multidimensional, just like us. Four don't hang on to these brilliant ideas. Take action on them, even when you're not sure what the outcome is going to be, and then let them go. Five when you launch new ideas or show a different side to yourself, there will always be people who don't get it or judge you. But be brave, because your vulnerability is also the thing that's going to create connection with the people who do get it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 41:46

Six trial things. Test, adjust and get feedback so you know what's working and what's not. Don't be afraid to just get messy, because you can perfect it later. Seven how do you bring an idea into reality? One way is to just keep talking about it until it slowly starts to happen.

Zoe Greenhalf: 42:08

Maybe this also errs on the edge of manifestation. What do you think? Eight, do the things that light you up, even when they don't make sense? And nine if you're still feeling scared or are doubting yourself, give it some fuck it energy. Declare this your fuck it era. Be a bit wild and give it a go. That's a wrap on another episode of the Mischief Movement podcast. If today's content stirred something in you, let's keep in touch on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn. You can even click the link in the show notes to sign up to my Mischief Mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret. For more info on ways to work with me and some fun free resources, check out the website themischiefmovementcom. Until next time, stay bold, stay rebellious and, of course, keep making mischief. Thank you.