Ep.68 Redefining the Rules so You Can Write Your Own Story

Feeling stuck in a cycle that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure? You're not alone. Join me, Zoe, on the Mischief Movement podcast as I unravel the invisible scripts that dictate our lives, often without our consent. I share my own journey of realizing that the so-called "rules" I was living by weren't actually mine. From societal expectations to inherited beliefs about success and security, it's time to challenge these outdated norms. Discover how acknowledging these invisible constraints can lead to a profound shift, awakening your rebel spirit and allowing you to design a life that truly feels alive.

This episode is all about rewriting the narrative and embracing a life of bold choices. Together, we'll explore the idea that being "stuck" is just a myth perpetuated by rules that don't serve you. Whether it's about redefining success, prioritizing joy over security, or simply choosing a path that feels true to you, I'll help you to break free from mediocrity and craft a life that  aligns with your authentic self.

Transcript

Zoe Greenhalf: 0:00

You're not actually stuck. You're just playing by the wrong rules, and the moment you realize that everything changes, hey there, welcome, or welcome back to the Mischief Movement podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know that change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and crank up the fierce as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episodes packed with actionable advice or interviews with some absolute badass human beings who've dared to defy the norm by living life their way, we're here to inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. My mission is simple To help you reawaken your rebel spirit, break free from mediocrity and design a life that's anything but dull. You only get one wildlife, so what are you planning to do with yours? If you're ready to stop settling, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way, let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle up and let's go. Have you ever felt completely stuck? Like, no matter what you do? You just can't seem to break free from the cycle that you're in. What if I told you that you're not actually stuck? You're just playing by the wrong rules rules that you didn't even choose and the moment you realise that, rules that you didn't even choose, and the moment you realize that everything changes.

Zoe Greenhalf: 1:53

I can remember a time when I felt utterly trapped. It wasn't actually that long ago. I had done a lot of the so-called right steps. I went to uni, I got a good job, I moved countries and there I had a lot of trouble finding jobs within my career field, but I still worked hard and I did what was expected of me. And at some point which I think was probably triggered when I had my two children I began to feel like I was caged, like I was living someone else's version of I wouldn't even call it success. I just felt like I was living a life that I hadn't really imagined for myself and I just kept thinking is this it? But that question terrified me because I didn't have an answer. Then, one day, I had a bit of a realization. It wasn't something that just dropped into my head. I have to be transparent about it. I was at the time listening to a lot of personal development stuff via podcasts development stuff via podcasts and I had the help of a life coach to kind of help me figure out what to do next, really. But the realization was that I wasn't actually stuck. I was just following a set of rules that weren't mine. Rules that told me what success should look like. Rules that said security matters more than joy. Rules that implied that once you've chosen a path, you've got to stick to it. And the moment I questioned those rules, things began to shift.

Zoe Greenhalf: 3:43

Let's talk about this idea of feeling stuck, because I know it affects so many of us. I'm going to say something a bit controversial and tell you it's a lie. What's actually happening is that you're following rules that don't align with who you are. You're making choices based on invisible scripts, things you've been taught about what's right and responsible. But what if those rules don't serve you anymore?

Zoe Greenhalf: 4:17

Think about it. Who told you that work has to be hard to be meaningful? Who said that you have to wait for the right time to go after what you want? And who decided that being successful means following a straight path with no detours? The wild thing about all of this is that most of the rules you're following weren't made by you. They were handed to you by parents, teachers, bosses, society, and, while some of them might be useful, many of them are outdated or just plain wrong for you. So maybe they did work at one stage and maybe you've just changed or outgrown them. Perhaps you were taught that stability is more important than creativity, that being responsible means playing it safe, or that once you've chosen a career, a lifestyle or even an identity, actually you're not allowed to change your mind, but you can change your mind. You can rewrite the rules, and the people who create extraordinary lives. That's exactly what they do. They stop following rules that don't fit them and they start creating their own. So how do you break free? How do you stop playing by the wrong rules and start designing your own?

Zoe Greenhalf: 5:53

Here's where I'd like to get a little bit practical with you. So the first thing I want you to think about is can you identify the rules that you've been following? Ask yourself what beliefs do I hold about success? About success about happiness or identity? Even that might not actually be true. Then I want you to write them down and challenge them, okay. Secondly, ask yourself what if this wasn't true? If you believe I can't change careers because it's too late, ask yourself what if that wasn't true? Or if you believe I have to be realistic about this, ask but what if I didn't?

Zoe Greenhalf: 6:52

Thirdly, I think it's time to do some experimenting with new rules. Instead of assuming you have to stick to the path you're on, try something different. Give yourself permission to explore, to pivot, to take risks. No one is stopping you, but you. And the fourth thing is surround yourself with rule breakers. Find those people who are already living the way that you want to. You don't need permission, but seeing other people do it makes it easier to believe that it's possible for you too. Some of the groups that I like to dip in and out of and and read around are the Do Lectures, which is a community, and they have loads of books about sort of challenging the status quo and making positive impact, and a brilliant book and also community called Be More Pirate the book's by Sam Conniff and it's all about tapping into that outlier energy and not conforming just because we're taught to do so.

Zoe Greenhalf: 8:12

So I guess the way I want to end this mini episode is to remind you that you're not stuck. If you've ever done any work around affirmations. You'll know already that what you continue to tell yourself is what ends up happening. So, even if you do feel like you're a bit stuck right now, don't keep telling yourself that it's the surefire way to keep you in that cycle. I want you to try and reframe it, okay. So so you're not stuck, you are simply playing by rules that don't fit you, and so you have the power to change them. The moment you start questioning them, rewriting them and playing by your own set of rules, that's when life starts to feel like yours again. So what's one rule that you're ready to break? You can DM me, you can leave a comment or just shout it out into the universe, but your new chapter could start right now.

Zoe Greenhalf: 9:16

Anyway, if this resonated with you, don't keep it to yourself. Anyway, if this resonated with you, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who needs to hear it. And if you want more rebellious, rule-breaking insights, make sure you're subscribed to Mischief Mail and to the podcast. And until next time, keep designing a life that makes you feel alive. That's a wrap on another episode of the Mischief Movement podcast. If today's content stirred something in you, let's keep in touch on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn. You can even click the link in the show notes to sign up to my Mischief Mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret. For more info on ways to work with me and some fun free resources, check out the website themischiefmovementcom. Until next time, stay bold, stay rebellious and, of course, keep making mischief you.