⚡️The Mischief Movement Podcast⚡️

Ep.67 Revolutionising Wellness: Ro Feilden-Cook's Journey to Disrupt Fitness by Adding Fun

Zoe Greenhalf Season 6 Episode 67

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What if embracing playfulness could completely transform your approach to fitness and health? Join us on a journey with Ro Feilden-Cook, the visionary behind The She Collective, as we challenge the conventional wisdom of serious, weight-focused wellness routines. We explore how infusing joy and mischief into movement can serve as an act of rebellion against toxic diet culture, encouraging a vibrant and positive relationship with health. Together, Ro and I reflect on our personal stories, sharing the importance of making health an enjoyable and empowering part of life, rather than a burdensome chore.

The power of movement extends beyond just physical benefits though—it can be a beacon of hope during life’s toughest challenges. Ro opens up about her time as a single parent, finding solace and renewed strength through physical activity after her son’s diagnosis with spinal muscular atrophy. This passion paved the way for The She Collective, a supportive community fostering connection and resilience. Building a purpose-driven business comes with its own set of hurdles. From transitioning online during lockdown to integrating mental health support, Ro shares the evolution of movement she's building.

By setting realistic goals and embracing a slower pace, we demonstrate how small steps can lead to sustainable change and growth. Ro and I delve into the challenges of scaling while maintaining financial sustainability, always prioritising heart-led initiatives and embracing purpose with a sense of playfulness. Listen to our candid conversation about taking messy action, the importance of trusting yourself and believing in your mission, and how empowering others can lead to thriving both personally and professionally.

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⚡️You can find Ro here; https://www.wearetheshe.com/ and if you fancy doing fitness differently, come and join us! Just use my discount code SHEFRIENDS50 for a cheeky discount when you sign up.

*The books we mentioned are LET THEM by Mel Robbins and DO START by Dan Kieran

Support the show

Not long ago I felt trapped by the daily grind and all the mundane stuff and responsibility it brought. I wanted to escape but instead of running away, I decided to rebel against the ordinary, put FUN back on the agenda and do more of the things that made me feel alive. This podcast is one of them and through these conversations I'd love nothing more than to be able to help you do the same!

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You can also find me on Instagram @themischiefmovement or LinkedIn and let's start a conversation. Who knows? Maybe we can shake things up and start making mischief together!

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Ro Feilden-Cook:

Why does it have to be that the motive is weight loss? Let's challenge that. Could it just be about our well-being? Why does it all have to be so serious? Can we not make this a bit more fun and light-hearted? And do we really have to do this alone? I was so passionate about creating a community.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Hey there welcome, or welcome back to the Mischief Movement podcast. Hey there, welcome or welcome back to the Mischief Movement podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know that change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and crank up the fierce as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episodes packed with actionable advice or interviews with some absolute badass human beings who've dared to defy the norm by living life their way, we're here to inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. We're here to inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. My mission is simple To help you reawaken your rebel spirit, break free from mediocrity and design a life that's anything but dull. You only get one wildlife, so what are you planning to do with yours? If you're ready to stop settling, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way, let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle up and let's go All right. Rebels.

Zoe Greenhalf:

This one's for anyone who's ever felt like the fitness industry just doesn't get them. This week, I'm joined by the amazing Ro Feilden Cook, founder of The She Collective, a fitness and wellness app that's flipping the script on what it means to move, nourish and take care of yourself. Ro is doing things differently no toxic diet culture, no punishment workouts, just a bold, empowering approach to fitness that actually fits real life. We're talking about movement as a form of rebellion, well-being without the guilt, and why tearing up the rule book is the key to long-term health. So if you're ready to ditch the shoulds and start doing wellness your way, this episode is for you. Okay, so this week I'm joined by Ro Feilden Cook and I'm so excited you can probably hear it in my voice. I'm so excited because obviously I have been following you and been part of The She Collective for a little while now, so it's an absolute joy to be able to have this conversation with you. Would you like to tell everybody what your mischief is?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

with you? Um, would you like to tell everybody what your mischief is? Yeah, sure, I love this question. By the way, I think it's great because we don't get to think about this a lot as adults. No, um, I think, in terms of mischief, I do have a very mischievous side in that. I love always being a bit naughty, like, just okay, I was. I was not the perfect student at all.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

In fact, I actually got suspended a few times did you and uh, and that has, um, has definitely trickled in to being an adult, but just more with it's interesting. People always used to describe my dad as having a twinkle in his eye and I, I think I have got the same in that. I love a kitchen disco. I love like breaking into dance and singing like an idiot with my kids and stuff, and I think that that is just really about letting your inner child come out and and yeah, I just like, yeah, I just I love. I love the silliness of of life and I think that when we take things too seriously, it can just all get pretty exhausting, to be honest so there's a lot to be said for integrating playfulness, isn't there?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

yeah, yeah, and actually and I do that with work as well, and I think that that's really important to me like even with, like, social media and stuff like the real I'm putting out later is just totally ridiculous and granny row oh, granny row and she comes out and like all of that and I just, yeah, I really do think that, like life is too short to take yourself um too seriously, and when I meet somebody who does take themselves very seriously, I kind of think okay yeah, well, maybe not, it's fine maybe this is a surface level thing yeah, well, listen, I'll confess to you that my self-development journey got a little bit serious.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I I had hit this sort of age and this moment in my life where I went I don't quite know what to do with myself next. What am I doing? I think I need to find my purpose. And then I got so frustrated and it became this really serious thing, this really big serious thing, and I was like my god, like where am I even going in my life? What is, what is my purpose? Yeah, and I got so frustrated that I just turned around one day and went you know what? It doesn't matter whether you've got a purpose or not, but could you just stop being so serious, yeah, yeah. And that was when I said you know what I like this word mischief, because I had my leather brand called mischief and hide and I really love this word mischief. And I think, rather than looking for a purpose, I just look to find the mischief.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Add the mischief bring the mischief and use that as the kind of guiding north star to everything else and, lo and behold, life got a lot less serious and a lot more fun.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

That's probably what attracted you to the she collective in that sense, then, because maybe me, I really can't stand this notion that health has to be hard and I really can't stand that we have to take it so seriously. Yeah, because I don't believe that is true, but I really believe that we should be having fun with our health and like, and the moment that we do take things too seriously as well, it's like that's where all of that mindset stuff, the self-sabotage, the falling off the wagon or the beating ourselves up, all that stuff comes in, because you know, we've got this rule book, and I kind of like the idea of kind of burning the rule book when it comes to.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Yeah, all of it yes, absolutely two rebels together. Hey, I love it. See what mission we can create today. So tell everybody about the she collective. What is it exactly?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

yeah, so the she collective was based on, um, she being happy and empowered, which is what I want every woman to feel throughout their lives. But that is based on a holistic health journey. So we're not just concentrating on exercise and nutrition, but also mindset and nervous system for that sort of full circle of health. Nervous system for that sort of full circle of health. Um, and we are a women's well-being and health membership essentially based online, but have a really strong community and it's a lot of fun to run it. It really is. It really is.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I love that it's fun for you to run it, because it's fun for me to be in it. Um, and I know that it's going to be a it's hard work for you.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

It is hard work, it's really hard work, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think like it's um, it's been such a journey. I think, you know it's really interesting it's. It started as something so different from what it's become.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

When I became a PT, um, you know, I only really knew about the benefits of exercise and maybe eating well, but it's through my own journey over the last few years where it has developed into something so different, because I realized how much mindset plays into um, not just, you know, our mental health, but our physical health, and then I realized how much, like as women, it's so important that we're looking after our nervous systems because, again, otherwise it's like this circle that is just missing these pieces. And so when we're busy women, we're busy lives, and part of the the you know life is there throwing the curveballs and throwing the challenges. Yeah, if we aren't taking care of that full circle, this is where we can end up sort of not yeah, not failing, but feeling like a failure, and that's an awful place to be in and I really don't want women to feel like that. Like I always say about the community, like we hold so much as women.

Zoe Greenhalf:

so the she collective is this place where you can feel held, and that's really important to me yeah, in fact, um, I like on your website where it says health and well-being you can actually stick to, and I think a lot of the sticking is created by that full circle approach, isn't it? Yeah?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

absolutely. Yeah, it's so important to me that we approach it in that way because I'm not about quick fixes. In fact, like you know you, you know I'm pretty passionate about my dislike of quick fixes, and that's where it's quite difficult because in a way, like so it's like the way, the way that we bring in women in is with a 30-day challenge. But the 30-day challenge is is about a kickstart. It's not about a quick fix. It's about implementing those things that then have that snowball effect that can take you on. It's the foundations, it's all of that.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But growing up with is this whole world of health and well-being, where, you know, maybe I'm not looking like every other PT or things or giving the same messaging, because for me it's really important to be practicing as I preach, like I haven't got time to exercise more than four times a week. 30 minutes, like that is that is my capacity, and so what I want to be teaching women to do is something that is realistic, that works with their life, not against it. But this January it just felt like the noise was louder than ever in terms of before and afters and the targeting around. You know, it was just all about that. Going back to that messaging that women's worth is in their weight and that just I find that so depressing, yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Yeah, but I mean, that's why what you do is so refreshing and that's why you've carved out your own little space there, because it is realistic, you are very relatable and the whole approach is about doing things differently, and that's what I love so much about it good.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I'm glad for that. That, you know, and I and I actually feel it's really interesting. It's like sometimes you really do have to have a pretty massive wobble to be able to make that breakthrough. Like I always say, there's quite often a big step back before you make that big leap forward. And I feel like in the last six months I've been really wobbly, really kind of feeling like it's just about.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

You know, it is that thing of when you are doing things differently. You know, like even my even my bloody husband turned around and he said, well, do you think you could just do some sort of like six weeks summer challenge, kind of get into shape thing. And I was like because that is just not what I'm about. I'm about making sustainable results that can last a lifetime, and that's not necessarily why does it have to be that the goal is always to make yourself smaller. But, um, but you know, but I actually feel that it's come full circle and I was just saying to Sam, who I work with, I was just like something has shifted. And that's just so lovely when you experience that shift, because that's something that I watch the women in the membership feel is that shift, and so it's all a journey, isn't it? And it's not. And the thing I just say to everybody all the time is it's not linear, like life is not linear, and this journey of creating this membership and what I want to be a movement has definitely not been linear.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Yeah, I'll know so take me back to the beginning of the she collective, or even your fitness journey, because, from what I can remember, you didn't used to enjoy exercise that much.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Oh no, running a whole movement, yeah, around well-being well, I mean, I think the thing is is that whilst I'd done exercise before, I mean I was definitely the girl who hid in the locker room in PE I would do pretty much anything to avoid it. And then when I did exercise, it was just a punishment for my body in terms of with food. So it was all about just aesthetics and trying to make myself smaller and the approach that I was taking was always about quick fixes. So I just developed quite a toxic relationship with exercise. I definitely was not somebody who, you know, naturally enjoyed it. It was naturally sporty, anything like that. But yeah, I mean, I discovered exercise. You know, it's kind of it's a typical story of somebody who creates a purpose-led business, but it's in my darkest moment, essentially.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

So when, you know, my twins were 18 months and I was single parenting and it was really, really tough. And when Alfie was diagnosed with spinal muscular atrophy and he was given, you know, a very it was, the prognosis was terrible. He was given two to three years to live and I was at rock bottom, really at rock bottom. It was a terrible time in my life and I remember just not having any time for myself. You know, I remember. You know, it's interesting because when I talk to the women who come into my world, I really try and tap in because I know what those feelings feel like of when you are like a swan, so you're, you know, desperately paddling underneath the surface but sort of seemingly coping on the outside. And that was definitely what happened during his diagnosis. I think, you know, my friends and family is sort of surprised to hear how dark my head was. But, um, there was a friend who our kids were, you know, tiny and at nursery or whatever together, and she just, really she was like I really think that you should just try this bootcamp that I'm going to and honestly, it was just, it was for me that was like oh yeah, great, okay, if I, if I, lose a bit of weight, maybe I'll feel a bit better about myself. Um, you know, there's no part of me that was like oh, I actually deserve that 30 minutes to myself. There was no part of me that was like, you know, and that's where I get. It's so difficult to motivate yourself when you are sort of in the trenches or whether it be with small children or just mentally or wherever you're at the beginning of the journey.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But I think what happened really did surprise me, because it was just this like release of just every time after I went to this boot camp I would sit in the car and I would just wail like, and I hadn't been able to release any of the emotions. I was numbing everything with antidepressants and alcohol, numbing it all, numbing it all, numbing it all. So to have something come to the surface, although it was so painful, it was just such an amazing release and I'd kind of cry my eyes out and then go back and feel like, oh, I can actually see the wood from the trees and I'm kind of parenting again rather than just surviving. And they always say you know, I want women to thrive, I don't want them to survive. And so this breakthrough started to sort of happen.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But then, as I continued to go because, again, like two of the things I've put into the she collective because of my own journey, accountability and community makes such a big difference and suddenly I'd met all these people and they say so are we going to see you at the next one? You know, all of that accountability really, really helped, yeah, so I kept going and then it was just like breakthrough after breakthrough, I started enjoying moving my body and I just remember like that first moment of like walking through. I used to park in Sainsbury's car park and I and I would go in afterwards and grab some bits and stuff. And I remember like almost doing like a Dorothy click of the heels, like walking down the aisle, because it was like, oh my God, something shifted, like it was like coming back to life again. Um, so you know, really movement itself really brought me out of a really dark place and I don't think my body changed at all. And now I could understand why I didn't change, because I was under so much stress and I was whacking a load of cortisol on top with high intensity exercise. But I didn't give it. I didn't give a shit. I was just so happy to feel like I was coming back to life. And then Alfie the twins are now 15 and Alfie has done really well.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But my life did not become any less challenging. He was into intensive care a lot and it was an incredibly intense period. But just to feel like I had this tool in my tool belt that I could move my body for even 20 minutes, and I would just feel so dramatically different, just felt like such an awakening and so that was sort of the beginning of the journey. And then life took a big turn on its head when the boys were five and their dad came back into their life and we fell in love. And you know, it's always a bit of a big, big, big change. I was. It was like that classic thing. I was like I'm not gonna like you, but you couldn't help it. Yeah, I couldn't help it. I couldn't help it. He's a pretty great, great guy and so, yeah, so we got married and um, and then we've got Fred, so our youngest, who's now six.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But yeah, I mean, it was just an interesting experience, that again feeling that lowness again like that I hadn't experienced since Alfie's diagnosis. When Freddie was born, I was really surprised. I kind of was like, well, it's just one baby, it's not two, and I've got a husband, and why? Why am I feeling low? And it's just like I think you know, being a mom is hard, like regardless of your situation, and so I really felt that kind of lowness again, but that time I just I knew what I needed and that was because I do think that when, once you make that breakthrough and you understand what that movement can do for you in your life and you reach that point where it stops being the sort of beetroot face and acid in your throat moment.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I don't think I've ever got past the beetroot face, I just don't look at myself no, none of that.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I mean it doesn't none of it actually means that you're unfit or anything like that. But you know, once I got past those moments and, um, you know, I just I just knew that that's what I needed to get to do again. And then that time, when I went back, I went back to a fitness community, I went back, got back into it and I just was like this is wild, how do we not know? How did I not know for 30 years plus of my life that I could do this?

Zoe Greenhalf:

and it would make me feel like this, like you know, because we've been sold that story about the weight loss, haven't we for so long that, although people people who exercise regularly are very aware of the endorphin release and the way they feel afterwards? But if you've never really gotten into it because it just feels intimidating, or you were told when you were younger that you weren't that good at anything or whatever, it is like you don't know what you're missing. But as soon as you get that, you appreciate that movement is so much more than losing weight. It can just make you feel so good, and whether that's dancing or the way you yoga or running.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I used to say to my mom all the time he was trapped in diet cycles for most of my life, and I used to say, because I enjoyed exercise, I used to run quite a lot. Um, I used to do British military fitness in the park and stuff. And and I used to say to her, I think you just need to find the right kind of exercise. I don't, yeah yeah. I do think there's kind of something for everyone. It might not be that everybody likes running.

Zoe Greenhalf:

It might not be that everybody likes yoga, but I'm sure that there is some form of movement out there for everybody and it's just a case of finding that thing that gives you a bit of a high and makes you go oh my God, this is actually really fun. Regardless of what it's doing for my weight and regardless of the fact that it's probably doing my body a lot of good actually mentally that it's probably doing my body a lot of good actually mentally it's also really fun and making me feel good.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

A hundred percent and like everybody's bodies are different, everybody's minds are different, everybody's lives are different, so there is not a fitness formula that fits with it. I always try and make that clear about like you can't go okay, you're a woman of a certain age Like there are certain recommendations that I make, particularly with strength training. It's not just a buzzword, it is something that is incredibly beneficial to women, but there are so many different types of strength training. Like pilates can be strength training, so calisthenics can be strength training. There is not one single way of doing something, and I think that that's where I really am so passionate about helping women discover that. That the enjoyment behind it, and I think that was it. It was.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

It was kind of like this light bulb moment of, well, okay, well, why does it have to be that the motive is weight loss? Let's challenge that. Could it just be about our well-being? Um, and then secondly, like why does it all have to be so serious? Can we not make this a bit more fun and light-hearted, and do we really have to do this alone? Like that was where it was. So I was so passionate about creating a community and I don't think I ever would have considered being online, but it was at the time of, you know, I trained to be a PT, did it like the first year, and I was working away and built up a huge client base and it was all going really well. And then we went into lockdown and I couldn't see any clients and it was kind of all you know. There was no choice. But at least with being a PT, you could transition to online and and I was like, yeah, online Don't like that.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Cause I loved just being with people. Like that was my favorite thing and you know, and I had a, had a small child and it got me out and, yeah, I just loved it. I loved it. But it was just so interesting that when you do it right, community actually can work really well online and the accountability could work and I could have a lot of fun doing it. So, um, but also with online you can reach a lot more women and I think that for a lot of women, getting somewhere physically, getting to a place, um, can be that one more barrier to exercise. So so removing all those barriers to entry was really important to me.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But the other thing was that what I couldn't get over, what really excited me when I started to create the she Collective, was that I could get one resource. So, for example, then I started to bring in the nutrition stuff, so I made an investment for one resource and I could share it with everybody, and one of my things that I've always loved being is generous, and so for me, the fact that I could make one investment and share it with as many women as possible any woman who was under my umbrella that really excited me. So to be able to have an online platform, where that is essentially what it's about for me is creating a one-stop shop for women's well-being where I make these investments like breath work, meditations, whatever it might be, guest experts and then everybody gets to benefit from it and they can pick and choose. They don't need to use it all, they can use what they want.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But that's really exciting and that's where I think it. You know it's great and that's where I've struggled, where you know you, you meet people who it's like, well, if you're gonna, if I'm gonna, give you access to that, it's gonna be another 400 pounds and I just, I just yeah, for me that's not, that's not the way. I just I love that I get to share it all, yeah and you even put on socials, don't you?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

yeah, oh my god, yeah, that is like the best, that is just. It's just like when you get to and we're gonna, we're gonna come to Italy.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

You know I'm saying this with massive FOMO, but I mean you know, yeah, I mean you would, you would fit in so well, they are very fun, but, yeah, seasonal parties, so summer parties, christmas parties and, like this year we're taking, you know, the she Collective on the road and national events. Because I just feel that, whilst I love online I absolutely love it I need to get out and I need to share this passion and I need to talk to women face to face. Like I remember it was funny because about six months ago so I went to a meeting, like an app meeting, with all the the platform that I'm with and it was all the different fitness uh pts who are with that app company and I couldn't have stuck out more like a sore thumb, like everybody was there in their like slick stuff and their six packs and they were just like these, like they almost didn't look human. It's about aesthetics, a lot of it. And so we were sat there and the woman was saying like how, what sort of things have you found, have worked? And I, you know, put my hand up and I said last year I was sort of getting on a train and going to Manchester or all these places and talking in like pub side rooms to women and you know, sometimes you'd hardly get anyone turn up, but you know the women who did come.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I really saw that it had an impact. And I just remember this one guy with his undercut and his man bun and he just like turned to me and he was like I couldn't think of anything worse than going and sit standing in a room and talking to a load of unhealthy people about. Like I was just like, yeah, we are different vibes, that's okay, that's okay. But you know what, like that is the kind of stuff, that nitty-gritty stuff, I will get in a room and if one woman will listen to me and that means that she will take action with her health, I'm gonna flip and do it, because that's how passionate I am about it in case you haven't heard, you can can now purchase Mischief Movement merch.

Zoe Greenhalf:

It's all done through Teemill, a UK print-on-demand platform offering global delivery, organic cotton and production powered by renewable energy. Not only can you now tell everyone you are a true mischief maker, but if you feel inspired to create your own t-shirts, stickers or mugs, you could also give Teemill a try, because it's a great way to experiment your ideas and take fast action with low risk. You'll find the links in the show notes, so write yourself a little reminder for later. And let's get back to the episode. And let's get back to the episode. How did it pan out then? You were in lockdown, yeah, and you had to make that decision to go on to take things online. How did you go about essentially redesigning your business?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Yeah, well, it started with I just got on Zoom. Every single day, like literally every day at lunchtime I would do a lunchtime live and again, not many people were coming along to start, and then I think that everyone was a little bit in denial, I think, to start about the fact that we were in it. Also, we had that gorgeous weather and you know, it was like it was a time where everyone was and I was kind of thinking, oh God, I don't know if this is all going to work out. We kind of came out of lockdown and I went back down back to teaching group classes and then we had that lockdown post Christmas. But it was very clear around Christmas time that the lockdown was coming.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

So there were all those rules coming in and I decided to do a 21 day Christmas challenge and again, very, very different messaging. At that time I think I was saying to everyone you know, this is how you're going to, kind of like, get that balance of the food and all of that kind of crap. Um, but I did. I don't know quite how. Even with that messaging, I did have the most exceptional group of women come into my world. So I had 20 women, of which I think it is absolutely mad. I think 15 of them are still in the she Collective now and they were in that first initial 21 day challenge.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I'm not actually that surprised.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I really was lucky with who came in. I really was lucky with who came in. We had this and I decided that, rather than just giving them the Zoom recordings or the links or whatever, I really really wanted us to have that sense of community. So we had this. It was an Instagram chat at the time and, honestly, it was just incredible. In that last week I remember them just being like this is something quite different. I'm really enjoying this. I've never moved in this way before. Every PT I've ever had is quite serious and at the time, I mean, I just literally was like so intimidated by the fact that I just couldn't seem to be this like polished PT. So to have some reassurance around that was really, really lovely.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Yeah, and then, of course, then we went into a further lockdown, like proper, proper lockdown, in that January and so, with, obviously, january being a time where people do want to focus on their health anyway. Then I was like, right, well, that 21 day Christmas challenge was just it was nothing. I was not expecting that. Like in the last workout workout, I was like sobbing. I was like, oh my God, like this has been so enjoyable. So it had a really good, really good sign up. I suddenly had 50 women in my community and I was like, oh my God and my mum is a psychotherapist and she's always made me very, very passionate about mental health and at the time I could see that there was actually it wasn't just exercise and nutrition Women's mental health was really, really struggling, particularly, you know, with the fact that a lot of people were homeschooling and the challenges of that, and you know, and I was right there alongside them with three kids and you know, and trying to balance everything and it was hard. And so my mum did a session and she got on and she got everyone to talk and we had people like kind of crying but opening up, and it was just the most beautiful thing ever. But my mum and I were left on the Zoom call afterwards and she just said you, you, you have to make something of this. The these women need you. Like we've got there. There has to be, this has to become something. So that was when I did, um, some mindset coaching, like I did. Uh, just it was. You know, I never really want to call myself a mindset coach because it was kind of one of those real, like you know, baseline, uh qualifications, but in a way I'd kind of been trained for it all my life by having my mum as my mum, of course. Um, and so it was. It was enough to kind of implement into the, into the community.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

And by that point I was like I was still running it month by month. It wasn't a subscription, so it would be end of the month everyone would have to re-sign up and it was all very amateur and they'd be sent their zoom, like their links and stuff to the recordings on YouTube or whatever, and it just didn't matter. Like in terms of these we were really creating a community and so we had. I ended up having to have multiple groups of people on these Instagram messages and stuff and it just started developing and like kind of snowballing. And that was so special, like it was such a special time because it just really felt like we were onto something.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

And of course, it has been through so many changes and what's been quite difficult in a way is that you naturally, as a business, you do have to change things, because you naturally as a business, you do have to change things because that is, I couldn't continue to send everyone YouTube links and have groups on Instagram and things like that.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But everybody has to watch every fuck up and failure that you go through, and that can be quite tough. So that's what I mean about you know, it's really not been a linear journey at all. But you know, in those initial days it was row PT membership and I just felt so passionate that it had to evolve into something more, that it wasn't just about me. I wanted this to be a legacy that was really was like okay, she founded it, but it's still going, kind of thing. Um, something that really had a massive impact on women, and so that was why I wanted to call it the she collective, because I went and brainstormed with my friend Sam and she said how do you want women to feel? And we sort of came up the words and it, you know, landed on strong, happy and empowered and that was the yeah, the she oh, that's brilliant.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I didn't know that at first. I read it somewhere, or I think you said it in a training at some point. Yeah, not many people do though. That's brilliant. I love it even more. But it's true, isn't it? When you're building any kind of business, there's a lot of messy middle and you know, I'm still in the messy middle.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

A hundred percent, yeah, yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf:

God, I don't know where you started.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Then Jeez Well it's just, I think it's the messy, my the messy middle bit is the bit where you, you are expanding. It's becoming something different now. Right, I've got Sam, I've got my wing woman. Like that's been a huge change in the last six months.

Zoe Greenhalf:

It's like we can now just go out and really go for it, like I mean, what, where you are right now and I can see the evolution, was there a sort of strategy or was it just a natural, organic process from the initial zoom classes to then? Okay, then I'm going to try and add in this little thing and then well, it's been.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

It's been a huge journey because, like, like I was saying to you, it's only so it was last April that I finally was like right, I can do this full time. You know, the thing the thing is about um with building it is that everything I have ever really made has been invested back in. So I have been at the point where I actually I would kind of be interested to total up what I've put back in. But for until that point where I went full time into the business, I wasn't taking a wage, so I was working my ass off and that actually I think I would really say to somebody thinking about starting a business is not a good thing, because it makes you resentful, because I would have people. You know, at one point I was managing all of the whatsapp groups. I had something like 14 whatsapp groups. I had my phone. My life was dominated by it.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I was going to bed trying to message people back, waking up in the middle of the night trying to message people back, trying to support everyone, and thinking in my head hang on a minute, like when anyone would like question and think I don't even get paid for this, but that's not their fault, like they're paying a subscription, but it can make you resentful and I think that that's what's really difficult.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Then, finally, you know you start making um money and then you know, and then you have to take that step back, to take that step forward when you take on staff and all of that and stuff. So it has not been linear at all and I think the tech has changed. There are things that you know were forgiven before, but now I want women to have the easiest experience possible. Then investing in having an app built was just that was like you know. I've still not paid it off. So it is extraordinary what it takes to build on solid foundations. If you are working with something like that is essentially this is a membership, but it's also like a tech business in that sense, yeah, yeah.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Is there anything that you like? Looking back, you think you'd have done differently or are you happy with the way the whole process went?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Oh my God, there's so much I do differently. Really, I think that I have a really bad habit of basically I always want to give more, so I have presumed at times that I need to change things or give more or do more, and it has come totally at the expense of me. I have burnt out several times. So to be running a women's wellness business and membership and to be burning out regularly is ridiculous. And I had things like you know, like when I slipped two discs in my neck. I would load up on painkillers and get on and film, and yet there were 150 videos on that platform that anyone could have done at any time, and yet I gritted my teeth for maybe three, four different movements in a workout so that it would be new content.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I'm definitely going on a real journey myself. It's like sometimes you have to be data led and the data is really interesting, as we've been sitting down and looking at it. So it's like, for example, at the moment I'm trying to grow a business which you need time for, you need energy, so you need to be able to step into your CEO shoes and actually at the moment I am on so many. I have so many times in the week where I need to be able to step into your CEO shoes and actually at the moment I am on so many. I have so many times in the week where I need to be live or I need to be on a call, like with the members, or things like that, and that really limits my possibilities for growing the membership, which essentially growing the membership makes the members experience better, because there's more to invest. There's more to invest, there's more that we can do, and so we've been looking at it and every single day when I'm turning up on my lives at the moment, there's two people on there every day, and so I am absolutely killing myself to make this work and the only way that I have done full circle and gone.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Sometimes you just need to make a decision which is not going to suit 2%, but I have to do that for the bigger picture of things, and I'm I'm really enjoying Mel Robbins book Let Them. So it was kind of that thing of if you are going to disappoint people, you're going to have to make decisions in your business that are going to be difficult, and if you're going to have to do that and people are going to be disappointed. Sometimes you just have to let them and that's all you can do. And I think that's been really real, really revolutionary for me because I am a awful people pleaser like next level, so I'm learning oh yeah, it's true, you can't.

Zoe Greenhalf:

You can't please all the people all the time, and it's so important that, as the ceo, you hold on to that vision more than anything.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

And, yeah, as you're doing now, you're outsourcing certain parts of the business to other people and you're getting help on board so that you can maintain some of that space, because, yeah, yeah, I mean you're in it, but you've also got to be out of it, looking in and and guiding people like when Sam came in and she's, you know, director of operations and all that she can do all her strengths, all of my weaknesses, which is just fantastic, and when she said to me I want you away from a desk, I want you out, I want you talking to people, like it, that just like. It just was almost like watching that little fire inside me like build up again, because that's what I love doing. That's why I became a PT. I didn't become a PT to sit there and do like hours of admin and all of that and stuff and so connecting back anything that you can do in your business that frees you to step into that area of genius, I think is just so good and I just I love being with people and so that's what I want to do more and I love creating for my members as well.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

You know that's. The other thing is that the more time I get, the more kind of like. It's. Like yesterday it was just so nice. Like mobility and stretches is one of those things that it's always on that to-do list but it just never gets done. And just having that little bit of extra breathing space, being able to film a few stretches, it was just so nice and I was like that is what is needed to actually take it forward.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Yeah, yeah, you need to create that space for the ideas and the re-energizing.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But, it's.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I mean, it's so much easier to say than to do. I know that, oh gosh, yeah, but yeah, it's so important. I'm reading a book about starting a business. I'm rereading it actually it's called Do Start by Dan Kieran, and that's a really good book if anybody's like thinking about starting a business, because it really taps into not you as like a CEO, business person, but you as an actual emotionally connected human to what you're creating and how you're going to feel in certain situations and what it takes. Um, oh, I love that. What are you? What are you looking to do with the she collective, like over the next year or so? Is it going to keep evolving? Have you got any ideas or are you just happy to kind of see what happens?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

oh no, I have to be honest, I want to drive this forward now so badly, like I have literally worked my ass off for the last four years in creating the foundations, creating a, a product which I'm really, really proud of, and I just feel this like level of confidence now to get into spaces to tell women about how we can do things differently. I feel like I have like a duty, because I am seeing every single day how much this approach can revolutionize people's lives. I'm seeing that the connection within our community is just like nothing else, and so it now feels like such an exciting point because I'm proud that we do things differently. I'm no longer ashamed of that, like I'm ready to step out and tell women about how we can, you know, look after those nervous systems, put our hormones at the forefront, and I'm seeing it every single day, what a difference it is making. And I want it to be this thing where people are like I am proud to be part of the she Collective.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

It makes people feel warm inside. It's led purely from the heart, and so I want women to feel that they are like I say they hold so much. This is their space to be held, and I think that by taking care of my own health and well-being. Finally, you know, so much of this business has come up with the cost of my own health and well-being, but now I do feel like in a position to do that. Whether a woman is just starting out on her journey or she's in that sort of elevate phase like we're doing, you know that that kind of advanced stuff, that there is a space for them within our community.

Zoe Greenhalf:

So I'm excited yeah, um, there's one thing that I you know, I am interested to find out, which is when you set out to become a PT and design your life, were you being led by something that you enjoyed, or were you of the idea of I want to start my own business because I think it will fit in with my life?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

better. No, I, if we hadn't gone into lockdown, I would have just been teaching classes and really having.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

PT class? Oh yeah, I had. No. It's interesting because I did have my own business before this, so I had a catering business. So I do think I have an entrepreneurial side. Yes, um, I have.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I come from a very entrepreneurial family so perhaps it was always within me, but it definitely wasn't at the surface. I didn't know that I wanted to do that. In fact, I was actually incredibly adamant that I didn't want that. I wanted to do that. In fact, I was actually incredibly adamant that I didn't want to run a business because I'd found having my own business with the catering company so incredibly difficult. I never wanted to be in that position again.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I think one thing that I did learn was that my life does not really work with being employed. So having Alfie being still, he gets poorly a lot, so he's just had the last two days of school, but he's off school a lot. We have in the next week just thinking about it but three hospital appointments. How do you explain that to an employee? And I found that when I was doing group classes, I would have 20 people turning up for a class and sometimes I was going straight from a night on the children's ward and having to open the doors and be teaching a class with a smile on my face at 6am, and it was so relentless and there was no cover, because that's the way that those setups are, you know. So it was just so, so difficult and I hate letting people down, you know so. It just so, so difficult and I hate letting people down, you know so. It just it wasn't actually working. So there were a number of factors that came into it.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I think what's changed as well is that I want to scale because I want to have that impact. I'm excited about what could happen and how many women we could. You know affect and what like. For example, if you scale, you've got budgets for things that I want to do. As Chief collective festival, I want to write a well bit like a book, like you know, all of those things suddenly it opens up opportunities.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

But the other side of me and that what is a huge driver for me and on the days where that isn't enough and I'm just fed up when I'm in those times, what does keep me going is I am excited about having a business that I can scale, because for me, alfie, for him to live independently from the age of 18, he will require 30,000 pounds a year.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

You know that is a reality in care costs, and so I feel that I am in a very lucky position in that it works in both ways, like it's the impact of helping women, but to have an opportunity where I might be able to support him. Um, who was the initial reason why I fell into exercise, the start of it all was that fire in my belly. Um it it feels, it feels good, it feels fitting. But I do think that when you have a purpose-led business, when you bring money into it, it can feel, it can feel hard, you give yourself the ick, but I think we're allowed to want to make money. You know, I think that's something that is yeah, maybe it's a female thing. I think it can feel really difficult yeah, I think so too.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Um, it's really interesting to hear about your whys and to hear it's sort of heart-led but still intentional.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

You know there's still a lot of intentionality about yeah, about what?

Zoe Greenhalf:

you've what you've designed and what you've created, and it's very much about finding something that has impact but also allows you to live life on your terms yeah, it does.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

It allows me to live life on my terms and I think that having that freedom um is something that I do think.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Once you've had it, it would be very hard to go back.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

There were lots of times over the last six months where I've, you know, you do get to a point where you know I need to pay the bills, and when you're essentially you go for so many months and you're not like, you know, you do have to question. And I said at The She Collective Christmas party. I said the last few months is the first time I've ever had to consider a world without the she, and that really broke my heart. And that really broke my heart. Like I said, january was so noisy with the health like well-being, weight loss, chat and stuff when big marketing budgets we literally didn't get a look in in January in terms of bringing in more members, and so it was a really, really scary time, and so I was kind of like, oh my god, this is like you have to, like actually imagine your life without it, and it's just that's when you have to just dig deep and just go. No, no way, I did not come this far to give up and there's no.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Your community would have a little something to say about that.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I think you gave up and as a small business you are so dependent on that and about people telling people, and there were times where we were trying to like gently, just like suggest, to like members, like actually things are, like you know, really quite hard, and like if we could, if you don't mind sharing, and if you could send a testimonial, and it would. It really does amaze me how hard it is to get people to show up and say, yes, sure, of course I can, and so I just think it's so important that, as women, we do support one another.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I think women have problems in asking for what they want sometimes as well. Oh yeah, I think you know it's scary, isn't it? Oh god, it's so scary, but you've just got to, just got to put your, put it out there and be like do you know what this community is incredible. But we also need got to, just got to put your, put it out there and be like do you know what this community is incredible. But we also need you to keep spreading the word. So, yeah, I know you go. Where can people, um, get hold of you then and find out more about the she collective?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

so it's we are the she. Or just search the she collective on instagram um the website is we are the shecom and yeah and you've got like a little entry challenge into.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Yes. So yeah, backs to you is our kickstarter and that's what we like. It's a 30 day challenge, but I always, I always hate saying that because, like I said, it just always feels like it's like a 30 day challenge, like kind of like shred. But it's absolutely. That is not what it's about. It's about finding your fitness formula, mixing it in with the mindset becoming part of a community. It's just um, it's a really lovely way to start your fitness journey and then the way it sort of works. We always have something for you, for people to go on to. So that's where people get their foundations, then build on those foundations in the six-week strength and then it's on to elevate, which you're doing right, I'm trying.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Yes, I am yes yeah, that slower, heavier stuff is just so good for you know, for women, and it just feel.

Zoe Greenhalf:

You just feel good afterwards sometimes I write to you afterwards and I'm like oh my god, I'm just about still alive it's good it's really good.

Zoe Greenhalf:

It is really good but obviously, as anything, you know you're pushing yourself. You're beyond what you think you're capable of, and I haven't done a lot of strength work in the past. As I said, I used to. I used to be a lot into running and a lot of cardio stuff, so it's nice for me to get into the strength stuff now. It's enjoyable. It never used to be, and I know why because it's just so intimidating walking into a gym being surrounded by big gym bros and their huge weights oh, absolutely.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I've been in like women's gyms and they've still been intimidated by the women lifting the big weights. So so this is nice. Nobody's looking at me in my house, so it's great. I did yoga last night and my son, um, sometimes on a Tuesday night, he, he crawls out of bed and goes, can I come and do yoga with you?

Zoe Greenhalf:

I said, all right, then I'm gonna do some yoga and last night he said to me the yoga lady's making us do some hard things this time isn't she, Sadie is actually Freddie's godmother, so it's so.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

It's really nice. It's really nice being able to, and that's what's been really nice. It's like bringing other energies and stuff, because the reason that I called it the she Collective was because I just did not want it to be the row show I wanted it to be. I really didn't, I really wanted it to be this collective of women's wellbeing experts and you know, different energies and different because everybody you need, you need, something different on every day. But for now, you know, I am happy doing it and I can kind of see myself.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I think, even if, even when I say that I would end up like handing it over, you know, to other people, I think I'll still be there. I'd be genuinely granny. End up like handing it over, you know, to other people, I think I'll still be there. I'd be genuinely granny row, like doing the videos. I'm very lucky to love what I do. I love it and that's where it that carries you through those tough bits of business and the times that aren't so linear and all of that. You know the fact that I enjoy it. I would. I would do this for the rest of my life. It's getting women.

Zoe Greenhalf:

That's what I hope, that's what I would want for everybody listening. I really, really would like everybody to find the courage to take that leap, to lean into those things that they love, because on the other side of that fear is all this good stuff. And yeah, I think it is up and down, isn't it? No, no business journey is going to be smooth sailing ever, but no, when you've really anchored into that why you started and what drives you and why you're so passionate about it, yeah, you can still get out of bed in the morning.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

And when you were saying you know, would you do things differently in any way? And I said, yeah, oh, my goodness, so much. I think what is interesting, though, is that what I have done has now built the strongest foundations, and I think that that is really important. And so, those wobbles that you have, and those ups and those downs, you always learn a lesson from them. Right ups and those downs, you always learn a lesson from them right.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

And so if I had had absolutely plain sailing like there were a few pts who, during lockdown, got on instagram live and did them every day, and they had apps that flew like absolutely flew, scaled immediately and not a lot of them are still having a great time and because they scale too quickly, and you know, whilst a slow journey can be a frustrating journey, it does mean that you learn all these things and you kind of calibrate, and I think that's really important, because when things go too fast and you don't, your nervous system and your ability to hold things and your systems and all of that haven't calibrated.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

That's where you can find yourself in a really sticky position. But now that's where I'm saying I'm happy to get in as many rooms as possible, talk to as many people as possible, because I know that what I'm sending people to is a product that I'm proud of, and I think that that's that's where it's really difficult. If you're not proud of what you're selling or proud of what you're producing for people, it's really hard to get out there and talk about it.

Zoe Greenhalf:

So what would you say to somebody who feels a bit kind of like nervous about and they've got this sense of I know I should be doing some exercise or taking a bit more care of myself, but it just feels like a massive step. What do you think you would say to that person?

Ro Feilden-Cook:

I think it is that analogy of you. You, quite literally, of course, you feel like that because just imagine, right, you're standing at the bottom of a mountain and right now you've got a massive backpack on you, you've got like, these big, hefty shoes, you've got no mat and you're looking up at the mountain. Then that's a really intimidating thing and that is essentially a particularly like with with, you know, women and what we carry in terms of, like, the mental load as well as the physical load, um, but you know absolutely men too. But that can be a really hard place to start in, and why women feel stuck is because they feel overwhelmed. And so I think that's where I'm so passionate about people following a program, because letting somebody else do the hard work so that you don't have to is really important. So your only job is to turn up and plug and play or what turn up to that class or whatever it might be. It's just about starting small, and I think that this is where we go all in at a time when we're desperate, and so we want this big change. So we set these big goals of like, right, I'm going to do five workouts this week, but actually setting yourself realistic goals, of saying, maybe I'm just going to literally do two.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Then what happens is that you've actually done the damn thing. You've done the thing that you say that you're going to do, yeah, and so what happens by doing that is you are starting to build up your self-belief and you are starting to rewrite that narrative. You're like, oh, actually I do do the things that I say that I do. But the other thing is just making it as fun as possible because, like I said, it doesn't need to be that serious. So there are loads of different ways that we can move our bodies, and particularly music, like music is so powerful. Think about all those things that bring you energy, that make you feel good, and make sure that you're incorporating them all. And then the other thing is get support. Don't do it alone.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

We spend so much time in our lives on our own or in our own heads and so that's where I just love the power of um community, because I've been there, I I know how intimidating and overwhelming that beginning bit is. Um, but yeah, I could. I mean, gosh, sorry this is a long answer because I get so passionate about this. I do, I get so passionate, I'm like let me help you, let me help you, but like, but, yeah, I but the but.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

The only other thing I would say is just be really mindful about what you're doing has to work with your life, not against it, and that is just so important. So, like choosing something that is built with your life, your age, your you know gender in mind. Like thinking about this reel that I want to do with my husband, and it's like clips of me exercising, clips of him exercising. Like his next six weeks progress is going to be, um, you know, consistent. Mine is not because I'm going to have a cycle, because I'm going to have curveballs, because of all of those things. Like you know, he can train fasted, I can't, and that's why it's really important that I'm actually I'm exercising in a way that is considering my age, considering my hormones. All of those things is really, really important.

Ro Feilden-Cook:

Yeah yeah, I mean yeah, sorry, long answer it's all right.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Afterwards, when I listen to this, I'm going to play a drinking game with myself. And how many times you say the word passionate and we'll see how drunk I am by the end. Oh my god, not really. I absolutely love it, and and I I don't think I'd have enjoyed this chat half as much if you weren't as passionate about what you do yeah and anyway, that's what comes across in your classes and gets people invested in what you do and helps to then invest in themselves.

Zoe Greenhalf:

I think, yeah, like, never lose that Good. Good, ro, I've loved talking to you. Oh, you too. So much Thank you for having me. I'll see you online very soon then.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Absolutely Need a roundup of what we talked about today. All right, listen up. Here are my takeaways. So, number one if you're here, I'm sure you already do have a mischievous twinkle in your eye, but here's your reminder to be more playful this week and enjoy the silliness of life.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Health doesn't have to be hard, and we can also burn the rule book and just have fun. Two whether you're starting your fitness journey, beginning a new habit or looking to change things up in your life, it's important to do it in a way that works with your life, not against it. Be realistic about the capacity you have and start small so that the changes actually stick. Three, go against the grain by not attaching your worth to your weight and instead try some movement, purely to help your mental well-being and emotional release. Four accountability and a community will always help you to keep going when you're starting something new, so surround yourself with people who will be your biggest hype squad.

Zoe Greenhalf:

Five the constraints that frustrate us the most are also the fastest route to creative thinking. Lockdown required the world to start thinking differently, so what limitations can you see in your own life that you could flip on their head to become the very key you need to unlock your next step? Six you can still burn out from something you love. So, even if you're in the process of starting a business, it's so important to build strong foundations at a pace that feels steady and doable and where you can take care of your well whilst you're doing it. Seven you can't please everyone all the time, and you shouldn't have to. You can't control other people's reactions, so take a cue from Mel Robbins and just let them. Let them be however they want to be, and just keep going. Eight anything that you can outsource in your life or business that frees you up to spend more time in your zone of genius or on the things you love is a worthwhile investment for the time, well-being, energy and ideas you will get back tenfold. Nine be proud of what you're creating so you can back yourself 100% when it comes to spreading your message.

Zoe Greenhalf:

And finally, when you really don't want to do something. The secret is to try little bursts and incorporate as many things that you do like as possible to make it more enjoyable. Think music, a delicious post-workout snack, or even getting a friend to do it with you for extra giggles. That's a wrap on another episode of the mischief movement podcast. If today's content stirred something in you, let's keep in touch on instagram or connect with me on linkedin. You can even click the link in the show notes to sign up to my mischief mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret. For more info on ways to work with me and some fun free resources, check out the website themischiefmovementcom. Until next time, stay bold, stay rebellious and, of course, keep making mischief. Thank you.