Ep 51. Unlocking Abundance: Facing & Embracing Emotions with The Vulnerability Guy

What happens when a high-flying management consultant trades in his corporate suit for a mission of vulnerability and emotional freedom? Discover Adam Slawson’s remarkable journey from the high-stakes world of consulting to becoming the founder of Plight Club and the self-proclaimed Vulnerability Guy. Adam’s story offers a fresh perspective on how embracing your emotions can lead to a life of purpose, alignment, and even a touch of playful mischief, reminiscent of Shakespeare’s Puck. (Plus, there’s an unexpected twist about his cameo in a Harry Potter film that you won’t want to miss!)

In this episode, we explore the evolution of Plight Club and Adam’s innovative approach to self-empowerment and emotional release. Learn about the groundbreaking “EMÖSHPIT” - The Rage Release Rave - event that helps participants channel their rage and emotions positively. Adam shares his personal growth, the challenges of raising his profile on Instagram, and his experiences at the Happy Place Festival. He opens up about the importance of vulnerability in overcoming past fears and traumas, and the joy he finds in sharing his message on stage.

Our conversation dives deep into the transformative power of accepting and embracing emotions. Explore the impact of societal conditioning, the BETDAR model, and how shifting your response to emotions can lead to a more abundant life. Adam also discusses practical tools like cold showers for emotional resilience and hints at his future plans for a TED talk and book. This episode is packed with raw honesty, practical advice, and a compelling message on the power of vulnerability to transform your life from the inside out...

Find Adam here https://adamslawson.com/ or on Instagram 

Chapters

• 0:00 Embrace Vulnerability for Personal Growth
• 4:17 Navigating Personal Growth and Entrepreneurship
• 14:03 Embracing Vulnerability Leads to Freedom
• 26:00 Finding Emotions and Abundance in Life
• 33:33 The Power of Vulnerability and Freedom
• 43:38 Vulnerability Guy's Radio Show and Website

Transcript

Adam Slawson: 0:00

Life is not about have, do be as in. Have something, then you do it and then you become it. It's about being something, then you do it and then you have it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 0:11

Hey there, welcome, or welcome back to the Mischief Movement podcast. I'm Zoe, your guide on this journey to shake up the status quo and design a life that truly makes you feel alive. If you've ever felt disconnected, stuck on autopilot or trapped in a life that feels more like a treadmill than an adventure, you're in the right place. I know that change can feel scary, so let's turn down the fear and crank up the fierce as we transform your life from the inside out. Whether it's solo episodes packed with actionable advice or interviews with some absolute badass human beings who've dared to defy the norm by living life their way, we're here to inspire, activate, empower and challenge you each week. My mission is simple to help you reawaken your rebel spirit, break free from mediocrity and design a life that's anything but dull. You only get one wildlife, so what are you planning to do with yours? If you're ready to stop settling, start living boldly and create a positive impact along the way, let's dive in and stir up some mischief together. Now buckle up and let's go.

Zoe Greenhalf: 1:24

In today's episode, I'm thrilled to be joined for a second time by Adam Slauson, founder of Plight Club and also known as the Vulnerability Guy. He's a true rebel who's journeyed from anxiety to self-discovery and freedom. We actually met up over the summer at Happy Place Festival in London, where he was giving a talk about facing and embracing your emotions, and we were able to reconnect over our shared stories of brand evolution and personal transformations. Adam's a former management consultant who lived the high-flying, party-filled life while battling the heavy burden of anxiety, but instead of running from it, he learned to embrace vulnerability as a guide, one that shows us when things are out of sync and how to find the way forward. In our conversation, we dive deep into how facing and leaning into our emotions can lead to a more abundant life, one filled with purpose and alignment. Stay tuned for a conversation packed with raw honesty, breakthroughs and tools that you can use to start your own journey.

Zoe Greenhalf: 2:28

Side note, I also discovered that Adam actually appeared in a Harry Potter film too, so, yet again, I love the way this podcast takes all kinds of unexpected twists and turns. Anyway, that's enough chat from me, let's get into it. Oh, this is exciting because I'm actually welcoming back a guest to the podcast. Welcome back, adam Slauson.

Adam Slawson: 2:53

Thank you for having me.

Zoe Greenhalf: 2:54

Let me ask you what is your mischief?

Adam Slawson: 2:59

What is my mischief? It's a good question. My mischief, actually, I would say is, is this is why I am passionate. I'm called the vulnerability guy on Instagram, um, and I would say that using vulnerability as the catalyst to my freedom, or which I say a lot, is what makes me mischievous, like it puts me into situations where I would push the edge of my comfort zone, and so my mischief is vulnerability. But then how that plays out and how that makes me mischievous is kind of a bit, I suppose, a bit like puck from a midsummer night's dream whose mission was to kind of mix things up for people and for themselves mainly, but for, for, for people, and just try things, see what happens, and yeah. So my mischief is being experimental and uh and and trying stuff and doing that and that's how I get up in, that's how I end up in weird places.

Zoe Greenhalf: 3:56

I love that, weird places, yeah, but I mean essentially I think I think mischief you just summed that up so well I mean mischief. Mischief is that sort of being curious enough to try and give different things a go and, as I said before, it's really interesting to have you back because I'm really curious to find out what's been going on since we last spoke. Anybody who has listened since the beginning will have probably heard the episode that we did, and a lot of what we spoke about was a polite club, but I believe that things have moved on slightly yeah, they have.

Adam Slawson: 4:30

So polite club still is there, it's functioning, it's doing its thing, it's still the mission is still the same. But at this point in time I'm concentrating more as on me as the founder of polite club in order to, um, in essence, raise my profile so that I can then get the message out more effectively or more efficiently. So this comes back to the experimental nature of what I do. So with Plight Club, we are running an event called Emosh Pit, which is an emotional mosh pit and essentially a rage release, rave, which is exciting and it's helped people obviously to rage and rave at the same time, and it's helped people obviously to rage and rave at the same time and it's creating emotionally expressive experiences. So I have a men's group with that as well, and all these things are obviously part of Plight Club, but they're also part of my way of meeting new people and I'm an empowerment and relationship coach, and so it's all intrinsically linked.

Adam Slawson: 5:23

But in due course, once I'm kind of stable, let's say, as a, as a coach, because it's, you know, this is the thing that pays, that pays the bills, you know. And as an entrepreneur, it's, it's you want to feel like you take the risks and stuff. But you've kind of got to take some risks, feel grounded for a bit, take some risks. So I am I'm, yeah, in that stage where I'm getting myself comfortable in this new way of being as a as a coach, self-employed in that in that sense. Um, and then I will be focusing more of my efforts on supply club, but in the meantime it's not stopped, because I'm doing these events which are all linked to my coaching yeah, of course they are.

Zoe Greenhalf: 6:00

And, um, you know, even now you're calling yourself on Instagram the vulnerability guy, because vulnerability is so intrinsic to what you talk about, isn't it? And that sort of being able to express how you feel.

Adam Slawson: 6:15

Yes, yeah and yes. And someone aged you. How long ago did we speak? Was it a couple of years?

Zoe Greenhalf: 6:21

It was towards the beginning of 2023.

Adam Slawson: 6:27

so it's probably about 18 months ago right, okay, well, time, time is flying as it is for everyone, um, but then I think, around that time, someone suggested to me well as, as the you know, founder of polite club, you should have your own instagram thing. So you should have polite club and you as a thing. And I was like, oh, I don't, I don't want to, I don't want to manage two Instagrams, um, because you know, I'm not the best at it anyway and it's not something that really lights me up, which I'm getting better at. But, um, but I wish I'd listened at the time, because we're right, you know, and I should have done, um. And then so it came about through my coaching, that you know what could my name be on instagram? Um, and I was like, well, I'm all about vulnerability, and people have mentioned, called me, oh, you're the vulnerability guy.

Adam Slawson: 7:10

And I was like, well, okay, then I'll be the vulnerability guy, um, and I feel that, in a way, with the work I'm doing, you know, I, and with plight club, I'm changing people's opinions of the on the word vulnerable and and I want to change that, like the dictionary, actually, I put a different meaning to it as well. But what vulnerability means is vulnerable means wounds and ability means ability. So vulnerability is the ability to face and look into our wounds. So that's what I help people with. So, as the vulnerability guy, I'm essentially the enhance your wound facing into ability guy, which is a bit of a mouthful that doesn't fit on. So that's what vulnerability means for those that haven't don't know that.

Zoe Greenhalf: 7:54

Yeah, it was really interesting because I was able to connect with you at the Happy Place Festival recently, where you had a talk, um about sort of facing your emotions, didn't you?

Adam Slawson: 8:11

I did. Yes, it was really enjoyable. I like I, I have this, I, I I don't know a huge amount about astrology. However, this is the one thing I did find out recently that there's a thing called your north node, which is apparently what your, what your kind of purpose is, or what you're meant to be doing in this lifetime.

Adam Slawson: 8:29

And I found out more and more that mine, um is to get a message out there be on, be on stage kind of thing, um, and for the majority of my life I've felt that me putting myself out there in that way, I was really nervous to do it. It was not something that I could like, could do easily. I did do it in my old life and my old work but it was something that would really make me feel not very well, um, but now I've realized that that that as soon as I step onto stage, I I really enjoy it. It's all the, it's all the fear before it. But I realize now that this, this feeling of being on stage and a lot like, and then really enjoying it, is because it's what I meant to be doing, whereas before I used to think it was kind of egotistical, that I really enjoyed it and I was showing off or something, um, yeah, and so I shied away from it.

Adam Slawson: 9:20

So I like I don't want people to think that I'm being you know, being arrogant or anything like that um, and that comes from a trauma, uh that I had, uh quite a few years ago, but um, which was that when I was 24, I think I was in, I was in um harry potter. Actually I was uh, I was um body double. Yeah, yeah, I was cedric, but I was Cedric Diggory's body double, so that's Rob Pattinson's body double.

Adam Slawson: 9:50

I can't believe this didn't come out in the first um the first podcast interview so random, random fact, random facts of 20 years ago, which is 20 years ago now. Wow, I was, yeah, my, I was in a Hollywood movie, but like no one saw my face, it was just me in the background. But during that process I was in the makeup chair and someone said to me life must be easy, looking the way you do, and I was like it's not like. I was like it's, I'm really. I get really anxious, I get really scared and and it's like and and then it made me kind of I end up taking this thing of.

Adam Slawson: 10:26

I felt quite guilty for the way I looked, which is I don't think I'm God's gift or anything. I'm happy with the cards I've been dealt, but it kind of put this belief into me that if I use my looks as such, I'm taking advantage of people, and so it put this story that if I'm on stage, people are going to think, and so I just found it uncomfortable and so through the work that I've been doing on myself as much as I help people obviously find their limiting beliefs and and work through them. I've practiced what I preach and now and now I can feel it's my time to. I loved it, like when I got on stage at Happy Place, I was really nervous. Well, my head wasn't so nervous, but my body was still doing its nervous things. On the first day, on the Saturday, amazing.

Zoe Greenhalf: 11:12

What were some of the things that you did then to kind of calm that nervousness before you went on?

Adam Slawson: 11:19

so the way that I work with people and that and help people understand is that emotions are energy in motion. Essentially, that's that's there's a is that emotions are energy in motion. Essentially that's that's there's a. They're a form of energy in motion. To be correct and in the talk I say that there's a guy called John Bradshaw who said that statement emotions are a form of energy in motion. And the word comes it's a Latin derivative comes from to move, to move out or move through. Okay.

Adam Slawson: 11:40

So whenever I'm feeling like anxious or scared or whatever, or an intense emotion, I know that it's just energy that's blocked. Now it's not. Beforehand. When I used to suffer from crippling anxiety, I didn't know that. So I was like there's something wrong with me, there's something and I didn't know a way out, and uh, and things like that. So just before I go on stage I often, um, I'll do some press-ups or something like just to kind of move the energy, and it's so releasing, you know, and I used to kind of use, um, kickboxing, which was my, to manage my anxiety.

Adam Slawson: 12:16

But it's not necessarily if you only do exercise to manage your anxiety. You need to get to the root causes, but as a quick kind of you know form of relaxation. I only like 20 or something. So I do that. I meditate before, um, I make sure I'm prepared.

Adam Slawson: 12:34

It's generally the uh, the, if you know, and and at times I do go on feeling unprepared as well, just as a way of being mischievous ultimately with myself, just to kind of, am I going to fail? It's like to kind of up the ante, um, and if I'm honest as well, like I definitely went to the toilet quite a few times before because my body was quite nervous, uh, and so a really big takeaway from this time was I just did what my body felt like it needed to do. I didn't, um, I didn't go. Oh, I shouldn't do that. I was just like well, my body feels to move, so I moved it. My body felt like it needs to go to the bathroom, so I let it go. It was more of what I wouldn't have done years ago, would I'd have overthought it and be like, oh, people are going to see me doing press-ups, they're going to think I'm weird, they're going to see all these kind of things. So I was just like whatever, I'll just do it. Um, and it really helped bring me in.

Zoe Greenhalf: 13:23

And then that's like a skill in itself really, is that whole being able to listen um to what you and your body need in that moment isn't it yes?

Adam Slawson: 13:36

for sure, like it's. I suppose it's that is central to what I work with people on, you know, to the thing of um, the first port of call for all of this work is like I, in this talk, I say face, and embrace your emotions equals abundance. So face is the word I use to liberate, which is noticing what you're noticing. So as soon as you notice a way of being, you've liberated it from your subconscious and brought it into the conscious and therefore you have a choice about it. And then the next phase is embrace. So you embrace, which is accept, like accept your emotion, and the way, yeah, and the way to accept it is to do something different, is to change your behavior. So, whereas before using the example we've just said, I would have not done the press-ups or not done certain things because I was afraid of what people think, think sorry.

Zoe Greenhalf: 14:23

So I know the belief that I had was people are going to notice me, and then I can't do that, and so the only way to change it is to do something different, which I, which I did, yeah, and you know what I love about that is that it feeds so much into what I talk about on the podcast, this idea of not having to accept a particular way of doing things or a set pattern.

Zoe Greenhalf: 14:46

You know, we will have the power within us to kind of notice, to break those cycles and to actually go against the grain a little bit in in in many different contexts, not just kind of listening to your body, but, um, as just a general way of being mischievous, uh very much. Uh, not just accepting that there's one way, or not just accepting that because somebody else tells you that I don't know, um, you should behave in a particular fashion because you're nervous or because you feel like this or because you want to achieve that it's. It's more about sort of finding your own way, listening to yourself and being unafraid to say, well, actually I don't want to do it your way, I want to find my way, um 100.

Adam Slawson: 15:35

It's central point to the work that I do is understanding that we are, we're conditioned from literally day dot um to believe and be a certain way. You know, and that is how I'm like for the first seven years of our life, we're in what's called theta brain waves, which is like we're hypnotized, and so what we're doing is scanning our environment and just absorbing how we should behave, like that's. That's what's going on, you know, and then, and so we get set ways of being, and then the records start playing and they play for all of our life, unless we change them, you know, and it's we have the capacity to do, do that, and so that's why I'm so passionate about vulnerability is because it is the catalyst to our freedom. And it's the same as for you with mischief, mischievousness. That's a mouthful um then, but mischievousness and vulnerability probably feel the same. You know, there's a, there's a feeling of fizziness in our bodies. It's like, oh, I don't know, you know, I'm going to put myself out there and I'm going to be exposed and I might upset people, or I do. You know this kind of thing? And it's all of that energy is, or that feeling is, as I said, the catalyst to our freedom. But we have to reframe it. We have to reframe it as something that is a positive signal. And these are quote unquote, for both positive and negative, because there's no such thing but the, the feeling of there. It feels like, oh my god, this is too much to take, I can't do it. And so we just stay with our records playing in the same groove. But the only way to move the groove is to face into it.

Adam Slawson: 17:03

So, as an example, just very basically, I could have not gone on stage and not put myself forward to go on the happy place festival I had. I was a bit nervous about it. There was an element of fear, a lot less than it used to be, but still there. And it's either like I do it or I don't. So, and if you want to have different um situations in your life, you have to learn to be able to change your behavior. So you go, you do it and I'm here basically because of that right.

Adam Slawson: 17:30

You know, had we not, had you not seen my thing on the bill, um contacted me and we got in. You know, we had a chat and met up, had a nice coffee, then we wouldn't be having this podcast now would we? So you know the knock-on effect of the changes we make in our life. There is no such thing as cause and effect, which is quite a big thing to get your head around, and I don't think we've got enough time to fully discuss that on this podcast. But it is that ultimately yeah, yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf: 17:56

And you mentioned in your talk and your description of your talk there that facing and embracing your emotions can really help to leading more abundant life. So help me connect the dots. How do we go from? Okay facing and embracing our emotions to then welcoming in more abundance into our lives okay, so this I will try and like.

Adam Slawson: 18:19

There's quite a lot in this, so I'll try and describe it as succinctly as possible, but if you think in short, there's a phrase that life is not about have, do be as in have something, then you do it and then you become it. It's about being something, then you do it and then you have it in your life right, and so, in order for me to, let's say, have, have a lot of the relationship that I'm super happy with and feel abundant in, yeah, I have to be in that way of, I have to choose to be in that way before I have it yeah if that makes sense.

Adam Slawson: 18:55

The change comes from internal first, and then you do things differently and then you have different things. So a way of phrasing that um, which is is betdar, which is belief, emotion, thought, decision, action, result betdar. And so if I have a belief that I am a certain way, that I like a belief like money doesn't grow on trees, as an example, which is quite a common one, I have emotions linked to that. So therefore I can't spend certain amounts of fears, thoughts, I'm going to you know, if I run out of money, the world's going to end, kind of thing. So, decisions, I stay safe all the time, time and the actions and they get the same result, say small, and there's the same true in a relationship, a belief that they're gonna leave me. If I, if I'm act as myself which is this something I had if I believe that they're gonna leave me, my emotions come up, it's like I have to act, like there's fear. So my thoughts are they're gonna leave, the decision is yeah, etc. Etc. So I believe vulnerability is the catalyst to our freedom, because it's the ability to be able to hold yourself in an emotion. And so when we have a limiting belief, the if emotion, which of fear comes up, we have to allow that fear to leave our body, because it's every fear is a learned behavior. So when we, when, when we experience a fear, we can either go okay, the thoughts linked to that, I'm going to die, or whatever it might be. So I keep my decisions the same. The only way is to go from belief to decision and not bypass the emotional, the thought, but feel it. And so, therefore, every time you can like, master your emotions, which is to hold yourself in the feeling of vulnerability. It enables you to make different decisions and therefore, if you make different decisions, you start sculpting the life that was meant for you.

Adam Slawson: 20:40

And in the talk, what I do is I use the reference of a clock. So if I, if imagine when, hypothetically, when two years ago, when we spoke ish, my life was facing 12 o'clock, you know and think of the second hand going around, that every single decision that I make this different, I start to start to look at a slightly different life, with incremental things, and if I get, if the second hand gets to three o'clock, it's like I'm kind of I can see my old life, but you know it's different. But then when, if you keep going and I get the second hand gets to six o'clock through making all these different decisions. I can't, I. And I get the second hand gets to six o'clock through making all these different decisions.

Adam Slawson: 21:18

I can't. I'm not even facing my old life, I can't even see it. I don't even identify with it. So, as an example, uh, with that I don't. I don't identify as suffering from anxiety anymore. It's like when I get anxious, I'm actually oh, I'm curious about it and I get excited about it, even though it still feels not very pleasant. But you can't be curious and anxious at the same time so what are you doing in that instance, then?

Zoe Greenhalf: 21:34

are you recognizing that the anxiety is coming up and what? What happens? Are you choosing to sort of just allow yourself to feel anxious and take control of it, or you're not squashing it down? Are you you're leaning into?

Adam Slawson: 21:50

it yes, so I don't. But anxiety is not a thing. So anxiety is a symptom of another emotion that's not flowing through us, as I would describe it, and the way to describe that as well. If you think of a business, a business isn't a thing either. A business is a bunch of people doing stuff which we call a business, for quick, for speed, right. And so when most people say I'm anxious, it's, they're not actually anxious, they're, there's something else going underneath, it's they're scared of something or they're shamed about something, or whatever it might be. And so, speaking from a man, my point of view, but for a lot of men, the belief is programmed into us when we're children, which is big, big boys don't cry, you know. And so my body, certainly from the neck down, had been conditioned to not allow the energy of emotions to move through it, which is particularly sadness through crying, because you know I'll get beaten up if I do, or it's weak, or all rubbish, of course, and it's. And then, in a way, for well, it's very similar. But for those in female bodies, they are conditioned out of anger because it's not really socially acceptable. For those in female bodies, they are conditioned out of anger because it's not really socially acceptable for those in female bodies to show anger, which, again, is rubbish, but that's kind of what the conditioning happens, um, and so they, women, go to sadness more, uh, easily than anger, and it's reverse is true for men. But what I do is, and try to notice, if anxiety is coming up, I'm like, okay, I going to get curious about it, and then I'll go and I'll sit still and I'll meditate and I'll be like, and now I have an ability and this is true for everyone, but it comes with practice I have an ability to be able to, in meditation, just go. Okay, what's this really about? Body, and your body will flick up a memory. It's like a file of facts facts, if that's not too 80s reference. It's like your memory, your body knows all of the stuff that's happened to you, that is, and it'll flash and it'll flash up a memory.

Adam Slawson: 23:42

I can give an illustration of this in process, which happened over the weekend, um, in a different, slightly different way, but I think friday night I was eating my dinner outside and start, okay, and I was eating it. I was like, oh, I should remember to chew it because it's good for you, right? Um, and I saw I chewed. So I chewed you, and then I thought, oh, it's kind of like, imagine if you put lumpy petrol into a car. It's just not as efficient and obviously you'd never put lumpy petrol into a car. But the lot the thing here is, if you, it's not going to work as well am I? In my talk I talk about you, I use a reference to a car, and I was like, okay, I'll just quickly record it. So I just quickly recorded it and, um me eating a potato, uh, and I posted on Instagram, didn't think anything about it.

Adam Slawson: 24:20

And the next morning I woke up and it was like, oh, that's this had 8,000 views. And I was like that's weird. Like I normally get like 400. I've got very few followers on Instagram. So I was like, okay, and then, throughout the course of the day, just going up and up and up and up, and I was like, okay, that's strange. Uh, and so when I saw the 8,000 views, I was like, oh, great, I was really excited because I got lots of views.

Adam Slawson: 24:41

And then I went to the shower and I was like, yay, uh. And then I came out of the shower and I looked at the comments and everyone was slating me like really horrible, really horrible words, like shut your mouth, like cause. I made the clip really short, um, so it repeats. So so it looks like I'm eating with my mouth open, which I'm not, but they slated me for that. And then they started calling me all these horrible like words and just shut. I really want to punch you in the face all of all of this stuff. And I was like what?

Adam Slawson: 25:13

And this bomb went off in my body, which is because I have a fear of abandonment trigger and I've had a fear of abandonment trigger and a fear of upsetting people due to a rumor that was spread about me at school and I almost got beaten up by four people. But I had to face into going into that and it was essentially people's opinions of me were out of control and in my head I almost died. So my body takes that memory and it's like it relives that. So, in this being and because of this thing, old me would have been like oh my God, that's the worst thing ever I've got to. You know, do something about it. And I perhaps would have gone out partying or I would have overexercised or whatever it might be, but right now I just sit. I sat with it and I just meditated for a bit and I was like the feeling didn't disappear immediately. But I asked my body what it was about and it told me about that thing that I just mentioned.

Adam Slawson: 26:00

But the important thing to say here is that our bodies don't release the all of the trapped energy from the trauma that happened all in one go, necessarily. It can come out gradually as a simpler way to explain it, and there's probably, there's a science behind that, which you know. I don't know exactly what it is and I'm not a trained psychologist, but this is based only on my experience, and so this is what the pieces of the puzzle I'm putting together. But having that ability to be able to notice what you're noticing, which is, oh, that's a trigger for me, and I and okay, I'm not going to be scared of the trigger I'm not really scared of the feeling, even though it feels horrible in my body. You know these people were essentially, you know, being abusive towards me for no good reason, but I just wanted to bring a real thing happened literally over the course of this weekend to to to illustrate the point of I feel really, yeah, that makes me really upset to think that people are actually saying those things about they've got nothing else to

Adam Slawson: 26:53

do yeah, yeah, exactly, and I actually spoke to a friend about it and she was like it just shows how much repressed anger is out there, you know, and yeah, and which is partly the reason, and it's just all it's done is fueled me more for why Plight Club exists, you know, and it's doing what I'm doing and it's very important and it's a shame, and I, you know, I I'd be open to helping all of these people and I don't want to just assume but because they made a comment that they have problems in their life. But there is a phrase which is life brings you people in situations to reflect where you're not free. And if you're throwing abuse at somebody outwardly, generally you've got three. If you're pointing the finger, you've got three fingers pointing back at you. It's like if you're throwing abuses because you're, there's something inside you that you're not happy about or have to help.

Adam Slawson: 27:38

You know it just made I so now, rather than you know I did. Yeah, it did make me feel a bit angry, it did make me feel upset, but also my main reaction in these scenarios is one of compassion, rather than for myself, but also for the other people who are hurling the abuse, because they're just ultimately abusing themselves yeah, and I think that just goes to kind of show how far you've come on your journey in terms of emotional training to be able to kind of understand that and approach it from a place of compassion.

Adam Slawson: 28:07

It would be so quick to just react and get angry about it yes, yeah, and that's actually this kind of goes a bit circle back to how it helps you with an abundant life is that I have an ability to choose, not all the time, because I'm my, my partner. There's moments where we get triggered still, and but we don't unpack it and learn from it and things. But the thing about, for me, abundance in life is is mainly the ability to choose, yeah, you know, and so if, if you have, if you can respond to situations as opposed to react, you then have the ability to be able to choose your situation and then ultimately, that will lead to abundance. It's not like you wave a magic wand and it just happens, but like using relationships specifically as an example. Like there was a long period of time where I was, I got hurt in in a couple of relationships and then I had fear of abandonment, stuff and that and I was avoiding and all these kind of things, and my ability to relate, as in speak about how I was feeling and let the other person know my experience and not be ashamed of it, etc.

Adam Slawson: 29:12

Etc, cetera, et cetera, would break relationships up. You know I'd move away from relationships as opposed to go in, and so when I, you know, have the ability to be able to respond as opposed to react. So when I notice that I'm going numb, my decision is now is oh, to talk about me. Going numb, a sign is actually the person's getting closer to me, not further away. Going numb as that, a sign is actually the person's getting closer to me, not further away. Therefore, in relationships, the ability to be able to relate in relationships is what I call abundance.

Zoe Greenhalf: 29:41

Yeah, yeah yeah, and it's also important to remember that abundance doesn't just mean money, does it? Yes?

Adam Slawson: 29:46

of course, yeah, yeah, so well, there's a woman I got to learn this from a woman called mary morrissey, I think her name is, but there's four main buckets in life according to her, and I can't think of another one. So I go with these ones, which are relationships, vocation or career, your health and wellbeing, and then time and money, like how you spend your time and how you get rewarded for that. And so if you're abundant in those four boxes or those four buckets, I would say you've got a relatively abundant life Right. And so the way I work with people is often it starts with relationships, because most people that's what they're after being seen and heard and being in a relationship where they're authentically themselves and the person is loving them, et cetera, for who they are. But a lot of people aren't in those situations.

Adam Slawson: 30:32

But when you practice what I talk about, which is liberate plus acceptance, equals magnetism, or face and embrace equals abundance, the same thing in your relationships you can then lift it and shift it into all of all the other buckets of your life. It's the same principle Like. So, if you want to make changes in your life, with your relationship, you have to notice what you're noticing, which is liberation. No, I noticed that I go numb, or used to go numb, so I call myself an ex avoidant now not a, not an avoidant, um, and then. So I then choose a different behavior, which is talk about it and and therefore I tracked a different life and, in this context, a different relationship Okay, but you can do the same thing with your health and wellbeing takes to a different relationship. Okay, but you can do the same thing with your health and well-being.

Adam Slawson: 31:15

You know, if you notice, as a crude example, if you notice eating unhealthy food is not serving you, then and it's making you overweight or not happy or whatever it might be, the only way is to stop eating unhealthy food. Right, but most people are eating unhealthy food as a habit because of something else that's going on underneath, but it's so be able to notice what you're noticing is the reason I'm feeling shame and that causes me to eat. As an example, as I actually have one client who were in in the process her go-to for numbing, like my mom's kickboxing, is to eat junk food, you know, and she's not overweight, but she just that's her thing. She notices, and so now what we're working with her she's noticed it and now it becomes practice and our ego is so powerful that she will eat junk food every now and again. But it's like you know.

Adam Slawson: 32:04

Imagine, if you're doing it 10 times, 10 times, you're doing it 10 times. But if you then start to do it nine times and then eight times and then seven times, your confidence grows Eventually. You get to, you can see it and you realize that actually I don't need to go there at all.

Zoe Greenhalf: 32:18

Yeah. Yeah, it's a bit of a tenuous link, but have you found your own happy place?

Adam Slawson: 32:26

Short answer is yes, but there's a but, I suppose, but there's a but I suppose. Um, my happy place is like, like everyone's, is emotion, emotions flowing through me, you know. And so if I'm feeling sad and I cry, happy place. If I'm feeling angry and I can be angry, not at somebody happy place if I can feel joyous, obviously, et cetera, et cetera. My happy place is not linked to anything. My happy place is now an internal thing, and noticing that if I'm vibrating at a certain frequency, then life happens the way it is, and yeah, that's, and being able to notice what I'm noticing and feel at peace in my life, almost regardless of what's happening on the outside, is my happy place. It's not a specific location or a specific thing, um, because that's not ultimately going to make you happy, right, and so that would be when my happy, my happy place, and also being in the bath, like I love being, like I just love being in the bath. I'm watching crap tv like I like doing that.

Speaker 3: 33:33

It's nice it's funny because when I listened back to our previous interview, you were talking about the cold showering and there's me like I don't know, I don't want to do it, and you're like go on, try it do you do it I did do it. In fact, it went on the end of the episode.

Adam Slawson: 33:49

There's all these expletives while I'm like freezing my ass off in the shower like it's horrible, but you do feel like a bit of a hero once you've done it, so yeah, so that that, as a tool as to illustrate and to link it to what we've just been speaking about, the way to be able to face into our parental and social conditioning is to be able to increase our ability to be able to stay in an emotion or anxious way of being, and that's the vulnerability that comes with that, which is the feeling exposed and the reason all my clients would cold shower is because what it does each time you have a cold shower it widens your capacity to be able to hold the energy of emotions and not freak out.

Adam Slawson: 34:31

So in a shower, this situation is like you know, I've been cold showering for however many five years now, but not so much in the summer, because it's basically a warm shower, but in the winter I still have that fear of oh god, it's gonna be cold.

Adam Slawson: 34:45

But I do it anyway, you know, and that gives you confidence. So, okay, I've done certainly one thing, that is, I've faced a fear and done it, and it's obviously, obviously very good for your body from physical reasons, but also the main reason is, when you're in the cold shower, first thing you do is breathe through your mouth because it's a shock, and so what we want to do with working with our emotions is learn to breathe, and that's the main fuel for our emotions. But breathe through your nose if you're feeling emotional, because it puts you into your rest and digest nervous system. But if you can do that in an extreme environment, which is cold showering, when you're in an emotional, extreme environment, that isn't the shower. Your body's learned how to cope with it already and so you breathe through your breathe through your nose.

Zoe Greenhalf: 35:28

So if there is a method to that madness, it's not just I'm gonna say is it sadist or just get in there, it's cold yeah you also, last time we spoke, mentioned that you were working on a book, so I did wonder if I could ask you how that's going it is parked at this point in time and there's a reason for it.

Adam Slawson: 35:50

I have written. Not long after we spoke, I think I had written I wrote about half of it, I think and then realized that I I know that there's something I want to write, but I haven't had the experience yet to be able to write it. Okay, in essence.

Adam Slawson: 36:08

So, and I'm getting close, like so this, the whole thing with my, my coaching and polite club and think over the last it's been about polite, polite club has been around for about three, three or four years now and and it's evolved into what it is, and same with my own personal evolution, but also the evolution as the vulnerability guy, my coaching and and things it's. It's been a big refinement of me being able to articulate my message and how I am and not be because I, you know, I'm quite good at doing, um, analogies and the different things to help it land for people. But I got to a point in the book where I'd started and it's like, okay, this isn't, there's more to this, and so I yeah, I'm, it's the same, I want to do a TED talk as well, but I hadn't quite honed my message enough yet, or rather, life hadn't honed my message enough yet to be able to do it. So I've written a book before, so I have the ability to be able to do it.

Adam Slawson: 37:00

Um, it's a fantasy adventure book which is different. Um, yeah, this one. It's like I want to write the message and it will happen in the. I think I'm aiming for 2025.

Zoe Greenhalf: 37:10

it will be the beginning of 2025 and do you feel like you know what your message is now?

Adam Slawson: 37:18

yes, it revolves around the phrases that I use a lot, which is vulnerability is the catalyst to our freedom. Um, and then there's another one that I use, which is if you're not expressing yourself, you are literally creating a reality that was never meant to exist, which is quite one.

Speaker 3: 37:33

People remember you're nodding your head, which is yeah, because I yeah Cause that was sort of that hit me when I heard you say that before in your talk.

Adam Slawson: 37:40

Yeah, when I speak people remember those two sentences more the longer one. But there's a lot behind that and so there's lots. There's quantum physics, philosophy, various psychology loads of different things. So the premise of the book and my TED talk will be it's going to be a build on Brené Brown's the Power of Vulnerability. So my belief is the purpose of vulnerability it's in this ballpark anyway. Belief is is the purpose of vulnerability? It's, it's in this ballpark anyway.

Adam Slawson: 38:09

So what I feel happens in um in our lives, is that, as I said, when we come out of our um mom's tummy, we instinctively know what to do.

Adam Slawson: 38:15

Like, let's say, we've got a hundred percent capacity to feel, so we 100 trust our instincts for other for reasons there are other things like ancestral trauma and stuff that I'm not taking into account, but just for argument's sake and what happens in our lives is our ego protects us by reducing our capacity to feel whenever something traumatic happens that we don't have the capacity to be able to deal with, and what this does is reduce the trust in our instincts.

Adam Slawson: 38:42

And so at some point in your life something will will happen. You'll decide to work on your emotions and then the phrase life brings you people in situations to reflect, where you're not free, comes in and literally what's happening is your body is calling out for experiences to help you heal your the trauma that's been in your body. It's like a game that the soul, that our souls, are playing. There's a phrase called earth school, which is floating around a lot at the moment, which is that souls come into and I firmly believe that we're souls having a human experience, and so it's, you know, and for those that aren't into that, that's very fair enough. But is there's more to life than what we see and can? We can see in touch is my belief, and there's a lot of evidence to suggest that. You know. Other people agree with that. So the purpose of vulnerability, I believe.

Adam Slawson: 39:28

In short, it's our soul talking to us yeah it's our soul guiding us towards our freedom, and we've it's a negative it's. We label it as a negative feeling, but it's actually the it's the catalyst to your freedom. And if you follow it and become more experienced at it and allow yourself to be in it, your life will slowly but surely align to the life that's meant for you Not necessarily the life that you want, but the life that is meant for you quickly becomes the life you want. So all that's happening in life is we're going from you know, from birth, to the time we choose to work on our emotions, which is called the descent yeah, the which is in buddhism anyway and then, when you start to work on your emotions, you're going on the ascent, ultimately, and you're widening your capacity to feel, which is intrinsically linked to just trusting your instincts. And each time you make a different decision, which is, as think of the clock again each time you make a different decision, it's like the volume of our inner critic and the negativity and all that just dials down a fraction, dials down a fraction, and so the the premise of what I want to get across to the world is that inner peace, silence in our brain comes through being vulnerable, and so as we calm down our body's nervous system and our natural reaction there are reactions that we've learned to things. We have more energetic space in our bodies to be able to hold emotion, energy, emotion and therefore it kind of drains out of our head.

Adam Slawson: 40:54

Like to be a bit reductionist about it. People overthink and do it, and I was one of these people because our bodies don't have the capacity to help us. So I'm using my fist as the problem and one finger as my mind. You put all the weight of a problem on your mind. It's a lot of weight, right, but if you don't have the capacity in your body to to hold it or help, you can't, it can't go anywhere. But once you train your body to be able to hold me, you open your hand and that would be the rest of your body. Then the weight is spread naturally. You start to overthink less and all this. So the book, or the purpose of vulnerability, is about that, in a, in a nice digestible format which is easy to read and with with tools and things to be able to help you and whatnot brilliant.

Zoe Greenhalf: 41:37

Well, I do look forward to hearing more about it and, um, when you know, whenever it's ready. But yeah, it's been so lovely to to have a cat's up with you and find out more about how everything's kind of developed over the last year or so. You've already mentioned the ted talk and the book, um, but what are you hoping to achieve, I don't know, within the next sort of six to twelve months? What's? Have you got anything exciting coming up?

Adam Slawson: 42:04

well, the next few months we do a moj pit the rage release rave. I'm going to be touring a few festivals, um, and the next six months I'm focusing on building my digital audience, mainly through instagram. As I said right at the beginning, I'm not exactly um, you know, great at doing instagram, so I've got an agency to help me, but it's like I'm working on there and it's involving me getting on stage, but what it took was a lot of reframing of my relationship with instagram in order to be able to do the thing that I want to do. So, as an example notice what you're noticing had a like, an aversion to instagram, or belief that it wasn't good for me or anyone, which is kind of true, but then I changed my belief to is like, actually, it's just a way to me to practice being on stage, which enabled me to get through the block around it and actually do the work. So just illustrate what we uh, what we were talking about.

Adam Slawson: 42:55

So my next six months is about niching and targeting and doing one thing solidly to get the functioning business up and running, to get myself some solidarity, and then, in the new year, on me and my partner also moving out of where I live and so we're going to be a bit more nomadic. So that'll be exciting and then in 2025 it will be early 2025, I think. It's. It's more speaking, um engagements and putting the feelings out there for the tech, for a ted talk, and then right, but I'm going to write the book first, I think, because that's going to formulate the TED Talk and yeah, so that's the plan for the next, let's say, 6, 12, 18 months.

Zoe Greenhalf: 43:36

Yeah, oh, it sounds fantastic. Where can more people find out about you or even work with you?

Adam Slawson: 43:44

So on Instagram I'm the vulnerability guy, so you can find me there, don't?

Zoe Greenhalf: 43:48

you have a radio show as well.

Adam Slawson: 43:50

I do have a radio show, yes, so that's quite, that's quite cool. Well, it's that, that's this. That's an example of what happens if you say yes, like I didn't plan on having a radio show, like necessarily, and someone asked me to come on as a guest to the radio, their radio show, which is called the real sisterhood, um and uh, and then she asked me to co-host it with her once, and then she said, well, we're going to formulate one called the real brotherhood, would you like to do that? And I was like sure, and I co-hosted that for a bit, and then you want to host it? And then they said would you like your own show? And I was like, okay. So I was like, and so it's called yeah, my show is called vulnerability in the city, which happens every second thursday of the month.

Adam Slawson: 44:30

It's on nettle radio, which is nettle radiocom, and apparently it's the third biggest internet radio um program in london, which is quite cool, but it's got, I've got to say internet radio. It's definitely not radio, but internet radio, um. So, which I only found out, um in the last show, which was, which is quite cool, uh, and so that's one way to listen if you want to hear more of and I speak to guests and generally the premise of it is vulnerability in the city is so. It's about relationships, empowerment and ways to you know, tools and tips to help and stuff. But it's also a chat with whomever I'm speaking to about how vulnerability got them to where they're, where they are, and and then the other to come to my website, adamslawsoncom Plight Club. You can get me through that as well, so you just search Plight Club and Plight Club HQ on Instagram, not to confuse people too much, and that's everything. I think that's all the ways.

Zoe Greenhalf: 45:27

Amazing. Well, listen. I hope that we can connect again in the future and have another catch-up and see where you are. Yeah. I'd love that In the past 18 months down the line yeah, that's kind of a nice marker of me committing to what I've been doing and see where I am in 18 months' time. Yeah, so best of luck with everything.

Adam Slawson: 45:43

Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure talking to you. Thank you for everyone listening and yeah, so get in touch if you would like to learn how to face and embrace your emotions and unweave that web of your parental and social conditioning, because it will transform your life when you make the decision.

Zoe Greenhalf: 45:56

So, just before we wrap up, I'm going to give you my takeaways from the episode.

Zoe Greenhalf: 46:01

So, number one in order to manage nerves, fear or shame, listen to your body and ask it what it needs, which may not be what you've been told to do by someone else. Sit with the feeling and this will help you to move through the emotion rather than trying to contain it and feeling worse. Number two notice what you're noticing, be aware of your emotions and then accept them and lean into the feelings instead of running away from them, because allowing yourself to be vulnerable then helps you to be able to make different decisions. Number three life is not about have do be, but being someone, then doing something and then having the thing which can also be remembered using the acronym BETTA which is belief, emotion, thought, decision, action, result. Each thing has a knock-on effect on the next. Number four if it's true that life brings you people and situations to reflect where you're not free, then look at the ones coming up in your life and ask yourself where you need to heal, still or change and find the opportunity to learn a lesson.

Zoe Greenhalf: 47:11

Number five abundance is not just about money, but much more about the ability to choose for yourself how your life plays out in the four main areas of relationships, vocation or career, health and well-being, and time and money. Number six liberate plus acceptance equals magnetism, so liberating is the notice, what you're noticing. The acceptance comes from choosing a different behavior and then you attract a different outcome. And finally, number seven happiness is not a physical location or specific thing, but it's an internal state of contentment and peace. That's a wrap on another episode of the Mischief Movement podcast.

Zoe Greenhalf: 47:59

If today's content stirred something in you, let's keep in touch on Instagram or connect with me on LinkedIn. You can even click the link in the show notes to sign up to my Mischief Mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret. For more info on ways to work with me and some fun free resources, check out the website themischiefmovementcom. Until next time, stay bold, stay rebellious and, of course, keep making mischief. So ask yourself where you need to see, to hear, to hear. I can't even say it.