The Mischief-Maker's Guide to Being the Leader of Your Life

Ready to shatter the glass ceiling of your leadership potential? Get set for a transformative journey as we redefine the very concept of leadership, moving away from the traditional idea of authority to a more nuanced understanding. I'll be focusing on self-leadership, challenging the beliefs that might be acting as barriers to your growth. Drawing inspiration from the enlightening book, "How to Lead When You're Not in Charge", we'll juxtapose the importance of being a good follower with crafting your own unique leadership style. And yes, we'll be advocating for a little mischief, challenging assumptions and fostering curiosity to shape your critical thinking abilities.

I don't just talk about leadership, I aim to inspire it so we delve into the idea of leading through mischief, stirring up the status quo, inciting change rather than settling for mediocrity. We'll be looking at how a dash of mischief can inspire and empower people to break the mold. Don't forget to join our vibrant community on Instagram and sign up for Mischief Mail, the newsletter with exclusive insights on future guests and your chance to submit questions to them. Keep the spirit alive by spreading the word about the podcast and get ready to become the CEO of your own life as we embark on this mischievous, meaningful journey of redefining leadership together.

Transcript

ZOE: 0:00

If I said leadership to you, what would that make you think of A horrid boss that you once had, or currently dealing with Something military related, something that doesn't involve you because you have no position of authority at work or at home? Well, this week I'd like to challenge these ideas and help you think differently about what it means to lead and be a leader. It actually has very little to do with having authority and a lot more to do with taking charge and inspiring confidence and cultivating a certain level of influence. So how does any of this help us to live a life that's more mischievous and meaningful? Stay tuned and you'll find out.

ZOE: 0:51

Hello, it's Zoe and welcome or welcome back to the Mischief Movement podcast, your weekly inspo for people looking for more hell yeah in their life. Consider this you're one way to get out of midlife mediocrity towards fun and positive impact via playful disruption. Wouldn't you love to wake up and feel like a total badass? How about breaking some rules, throwing two fingers up to society and doing more of the things you love? I'm talking full on freedom, adventure and those meaningful connections I know you've been craving. Stop waiting for your amazing life to happen and go get it. I'll be picking the brains of some true game changers and mischief makers, so I can share what I find and hopefully inspire you to shake things up, do more of what makes you feel alive and boldly rebel against the ordinary. I've no idea what I'm doing, to be honest, but I've got a mission and I'm here to start a movement. This could be quite the adventure. Thanks for joining me. Okay, here goes.

ZOE: 1:55

Often we believe that in order to become any sort of leader, we must be I don't know a supervisor, a manager or occupy some kind of senior position in a corporation or hierarchical system. So here's where I want to bust your first limiting belief. If you feel like you aren't a leader or if you've been told by other people that you don't have what it takes, let me remind you that we're all in charge of something. You are in charge of you, and you don't need a name badge saying manager to validate anything. You get to control your thoughts, your actions and your beliefs. The concept of self-leadership is everything you do when no one else is there to watch you, from your self-discipline, like being punctual, doing something towards personal growth or creating healthy routines for your well-being, to the way you talk to yourself, trust yourself and show up courageously for yourself. You don't need any other people or job titles to develop these skills and become the leader of your own life.

ZOE: 3:24

Now, I've mentioned before that the idea for this podcast was born out of wanting more connection, more fun and freedom in my life, because at a certain point I felt very trapped by my circumstances, a bit lonely and pretty stuck, and I just didn't know where I was even trying to get to. Back then I was good at being a victim. I blamed my partner for working shifts, which made my life difficult to organise. I blamed my kids because I couldn't find a job that would fit around them, so I was constantly broke. I blamed myself for being a pretty shit excuse for a grown-up who couldn't figure out how to adult properly, and some days the negative self-talk was off the scale. At that point I hadn't really read that much about personal development and I said to me didn't feel like I was any sort of leader. I could lead my friends to the dance floor sometimes, but many of the opportunities that I had to demonstrate actual leadership skills I fucked up because I was not following the main points I just mentioned above.

ZOE: 4:42

It's the bit where you trust yourself and you talk kindly and positively, and you have a little bit of self-esteem. I had all this potential, but I actually failed to deliver because I was riddled with self-doubt and a lack of confidence. The crazy thing about this situation was that everyone else felt like I could do it. It was only me blocking my own way with my critical thoughts and low self-esteem. So here's the next point I want you to understand being a leader is intrinsically linked to your identity, and by this I mean having a certain level of self-awareness, like being really clear on who you are and the beliefs you tell yourself, and then cultivating the right sort of identity. How you feel about yourself is the foundation to everything else. If you think you're not worthy enough, you're not going to trust your own decisions. You're going to be second guessing yourself. On the other hand, if you overestimate your abilities, you'll come across as arrogant and you may fail to deliver on what you set out to do. So it's a delicate balance. Leaders need empathy, so everything begins with treating yourself well. This translates as self-compassion, celebrating your achievements and expressing gratitude. Using your personal values also helps to understand what to prioritise and can deeply affect how you show up in the world. You want an example. A person with values like courage and authenticity is likely to behave honestly and lead with a hint of daring.

ZOE: 6:44

This episode has been heavily influenced by a great book on leadership that I've just read, called How to Lead when You're Not In Charge, by Clay Scroggins, and it had some fantastic points that I was desperate to share with you. Here's one that I wasn't expecting. So to become a great leader, you need to start as a good follower. So if you find yourself listening to this, somebody stepping into line and being a model employee rather than an office rebel, that's totally okay. What we learn by following a manager or a leader is actually what good or bad leadership looks like. We have a benchmark and some experience to inform our own style of leadership.

ZOE: 7:35

Great leaders question things, and here is something I say often on the podcast Be curious and try to think differently, be observant and challenge assumptions so you can start to develop the skill of critical thinking. But what does that mean? Well, put simply, critical thinking is not the same as being critical. Someone who is critical is focused on the problems and looking to see others lose, whereas a person who can think critically, objectively, is invested in seeing others win, so they want to bring solutions. The difference is kind of subtle, but it's really significant For you to become the leader of your life. You'll have to adjust your mindset slightly because through your questioning you'll become a better observer. You'll be keen to understand why things are the way they are, and you'll be looking for connections that other people can't see. This might look like the link between behaviours and emotions, so when I feel this way, I behave like that. You know it's starting to notice these patterns. It also means ditching the employee mentality and starting to view yourself as the owner or CEO because you are. It's your life. Owners of businesses care more because they're more invested in the project, and the same goes for you, because you're the captain of your own ship.

ZOE: 9:29

I'm excited to continue partnering with Plight Club, a brand whose mission is to change the attitude towards vulnerability and to encourage more conversation around it in order to increase real human connection. Connection is one of my core values, as you know, so to bring more people together and help you rebel against staying the same, Plight Club are offering a cheeky 10% discount when you use the code MISCHIEF at the checkout. 50% of the profits from this organic and rebellious brand are used to fund proactive suicide prevention in a form of coaching, support and awareness raising. So get involved and become a vulnerable with us. For more info on the brand or to buy online, go to PlightClub. co. uk or follow on Instagram at @PlightClubHQ. P. s. If you are a small business doing things differently, an independent brand disrupting the status quo, or simply an unconventional, adventurous individual looking to create a positive impact, I'd love to hear from you about getting your story out there in the world and promoting you. Dm me on Instagram @themischief movement. Right, now, on with the show.

ZOE: 10:47

One part of the book that really resonated with me was the idea of playing the waiting game, because this is a trap, that I fell into, this kind of state of passivity or waiting for something to happen, or someone else has sought my shit out for me, because the person I am today looking back, I almost can't believe this was my behaviour. I'm a little bit ashamed, actually, but then again, when you're not aware of certain things, you can't really see what's going on. So anyway, there I am feeling all helpless and waiting around like the world owes me something, and I'm frustrated and I'm angry because, the way I see it, I've got no control over anything. I was stuck at home also, I felt with a toddler and a baby no independent income, lack of freedom, not a lot of time to myself, and my ambitions and dreams felt like they'd just gone up in smoke. If this is you, I'd urge you to listen carefully to this next quote by Clay's Gloggins when we are not in charge, we feel like we have no control and feel forced to be reactive. That reactivity perpetuates passivity and passivity causes us to feel stuck.

ZOE: 12:17

I said it before, but it's worth saying again a great place to start is to take responsibility. This is where I started. I had to learn to stop blaming other people and admit to myself that whatever or whoever had gotten me there, it was my responsibility to get myself out. No more waiting around. Who the fuck did? I think I was anyway some sort of you know pathetic damsel in distress. Geez, you don't have to stay stuck. You just need to look around for something to do that will move the needle forward. This is real leadership. Choose to own whatever it is you've been avoiding. Take the initiative. That's what I had to do. There were many things out of my control, and dwelling on them made me resentful, but when I began to look at the things I could control, I took back some of that power I'd given away. It's about being proactive instead of reactive. So start to think differently.

ZOE: 13:31

Clay Scroggins says "find something that needs to change, choose to own it and come up with a realistic plan to fix it. You may have heard people talking about being intentional. This is a great example of where setting your intention and making room for planning will result in coming up with solutions. When I was in the Army reserves, we were told all the time prior planning prevents piss-poor performance. You'll need to set aside time to make room for that mental clarity, but trust me, it's so worth it. I'm in such a better place now mentally compared with a few years ago, simply because I chose to change things and find those solutions. You might feel like taking charge of your life is an impossible task right now, but it's all about identifying those goals and then breaking them down into the tiny achievable steps you need to get there. So stop thinking about what you'd do in the future if you had X, y or Z, or if you were this person or that person, and focus on the opportunities to lead right now.

ZOE: 14:54

Don't beat yourself up for having this kind of character instead of that one. As much as I no longer buy into the idea that confidence is only something you're born with, I now also view leadership the same way, and I can see so clearly how my biggest struggle was never influencing others, lack of empathy or intelligence or critical thinking. Sadly, it was just the identity bit, the self-esteem, not trusting myself and lack of confidence. You might hear this and have no issues with being or becoming the leader of your life. Diversely. You might be listening to my little monologue here thinking oh my God, that is me, do you, my friend? I just want to say my first mistake was letting my identity be defined by others and allowing my beliefs to dictate the way that I then showed up with zero confidence. My second mistake was then, you know, some years later, when I sat there playing the waiting game, expecting a solution to just fall out the sky and fix my problems, whilst blaming everyone else for the way I felt. But the real shifts come when you can cultivate a sense of self-assuredness and when you decide that you're going to change things. Phew, I feel like I've got something off my chest there. Actually, I did move pretty fast through this week's episode, so before I go, I'm just going to give you a quick rundown on the main takeaways which I hope you will hear, acknowledge and then feel like you can implement in your own life where needed.

ZOE: 16:51

So, number one leadership isn't about having authority. It's taking charge, inspiring confidence and cultivating a certain level of influence over yourself or others. Two you are in charge of you. You get to control your thoughts, your actions and your beliefs. Three the concept of self-leadership is everything you do when no one else is there to watch you. Four being a leader is linked to your identity, which means having self-awareness, being very clear on who you are, what you stand for and the beliefs you tell yourself. Five leaders need empathy, so everything begins with treating yourself well that's self-compassion celebrating your achievements and expressing gratitude. Six to become a great leader, you need to start as a good follower, because we then have a benchmark and the experience will then inform our own style of leadership.

ZOE: 18:04

Seven great leaders question things, so be curious and think differently. Be observant and challenge assumptions so you can start to develop the skill of critical thinking. Number eight ditch that employee mentality and start seeing yourself as the CEO of your life because you are Nine. Don't fall into the waiting game. When we're not in charge, we feel like we've got no control and then we end up being reactive, but the reactivity perpetuates passivity, and passivity causes us to feel stuck. Number ten take the initiative. Find something that needs to change, choose to own it and come up with a realistic plan to fix it. You don't need anybody's permission.

ZOE: 19:11

I hope you loved today's episode and it made you think differently or perhaps nudged you into changing something in your life that's not working for you. I'd love to give you a shout out right here on the podcast too, so do let me know what you think or you'd like to hear more of, or how you've been inspired. Let's keep in touch over on Instagram at the mischief movement Ah, it's changed, did you see that? Or click the link in the show notes to sign up to my mischief mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone. It's our secret. Now, please keep spreading the word about the podcast. You're doing an amazing job, and I'm also super grateful for your five star ratings on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, because these seriously help my mission to inspire and empower more people like us to choose mischief over mediocre. Have a great week and keep making mischief, ciao.