Unfolding Six-Word Stories: Finding Joy in Midlife with Onika Griffith-Elliott

Have you ever felt that your life's narrative could be encapsulated in just six words? Onika Griffith-Elliott joins me in unraveling the art of storytelling and the transformation that occurs when we listen intently to the tales we tell. Together, we share anecdotes and insights into how curiosity can reignite a mischievous spark within us all, leading to a more confident and genuine self. Onika's expertise in crafting concise life stories is a testament to the profound impact of capturing one's essence in mere sentences.

Embarking on a journey of self-discovery isn't always a straightforward path, as I've found through my own evolution from sharing my designs to finding my voice. Onika opens up about the vulnerability inherent in aligning her passions with her identity and the liberating transformation that accompanies taking creative risks. From the thrill of solo travel to painting alongside her daughter, each experience has been a brushstroke in the vivid painting of her life. This episode is a heartfelt reflection on personal growth and the beauty that comes from sharing your true colors with the world.

As someone who juggles storytelling passion with a career in business analysis, Onika understands the complexities of weaving your dreams into the fabric of everyday life. This discussion examines the skills that crossover between crafting visual stories and navigating a day job, while also highlighting the unexpected joys that have emerged during lifestyle shifts brought on by COVID-19. Tune in to discover how asking "What if?" might just lead you to transform your life, connect with your most authentic self, and find joy and purpose even amidst the most challenging times.

https://sixplustwo.com/

Transcript

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 0:00

No matter how uncomfortable we are with our situation, where people might be hoping to navigate out of work or at least find something else that they want to do, and it's frustrating, there's something good if we look for it, and I think we've got to get into the habit of looking, because it's easy to complain and get bogged down in this is not what I want, it's not working for me, but there's always something bogged down in. This is not what I want.

Zoe Greenhalf: 0:26

It's not working for me, but there's always something. Hello. It's Zoe mentor, creator and mischief maker behind the mischief movement podcast, your weekly inspo for people looking for more hell yeah in their life. I'm on a mission to help you rediscover that rebellious streak, find your confident inner badass and stop holding yourself back from the amazing life that you're dreaming of. Why? Because I know what it's like to wake up one day and think, wow, this isn't the life I'd imagined for myself. But I decided to bring the fun back, get curious about the things that made me feel alive and empower others to boldly rebel against the ordinary with me. And so the mischief movement was born. I've always loved the word mischief because it's cheeky, playful and a little bit rebellious, and that's exactly what I hope this podcast brings to the table. Now. I'm daring you to jump in with me. Are you ready? Let's go. In case you haven't heard, you can now purchase Mischief Movement merch. It's all done through TeeMill, a UK print-on-demand platform offering global delivery, organic cotton and production powered by renewable energy. Not only can you now tell everyone you are a true mischief maker, but if you feel inspired to create your own t-shirts, stickers or mugs, you could also give TeeMill a try, because it's a great way to experiment your ideas and take fast action with low risk. You'll find the links in the show notes, so write yourself a little reminder for later. And let's get back to the episode.

Zoe Greenhalf: 2:22

Onika will say that she fell into writing by accident, but now feels like she's stepping into a different version of herself to such an extent that even her own children don't recognise her.

Zoe Greenhalf: 2:34

Here is an episode that starts with storytelling but is far more than a love of writing. Following her curiosity has led Onika down a creative path she'd never imagined, reignited a spark that she hadn't realised had gone out and brought her home to her true self. Sometimes we don't know what we want to do, and that's okay. We put everyone else's needs before our own and then wonder why we don't recognise ourselves. Or do we deny ourselves the things that make us feel alive, because it's more comfortable not to explore them? Anyway, this episode is a message to anyone who wants to live a more expansive life but feels afraid that sometimes, in leaning into the things that light you up, you also remember who you really are. Join me this week as Onika Griffith-Elliott helps me throw away the rule book so we can rewrite our own stories. This week, I'm talking to an amazing person who's just entered my life, called Onika, and I'm just going to ask you straight up what is your mischief?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 3:47

My mischief, I would say, is people and their stories. I find it very difficult to meet somebody and not listen to who they are and what their backstory is and for some reason, people like to tell me their stories and it's something that my mother, people who know me, they're always like. Why do people end up telling you their life stories? I don't ask, but I end up finding out and I love it. Why do you think that is? I don't know. I think because I'm quite curious and I will ask questions and somebody will say something that really piques my interest and I don't leave it alone and it really annoys my, my daughter. I'll go somewhere and she'll be like why do you have to keep asking questions? I'm like because I just somebody said something interesting and I want to know more oh, I love that.

Zoe Greenhalf: 4:37

Maybe that's why we've gotten so well, because there's that sense of curiosity and that wanting to know always a little bit more. But, um, how are you taking that passion for listening to people's stories and bringing that into your life at the moment? What are you doing with it?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 4:56

so I will say over the years I have brought it into my career. I'm a business analyst by trade and I take my listening skills and use them to see how best I can improve organisations, processes particularly. I love processes, systems, etc. Seven, eight months been writing six word stories of people's lives, and that is where I get my most joy at the moment. So really helping people uncover more about who they are, shine the light on their amazing attributes I would say attributes because it's more than talents, it's about who they are that they may not always be aware of or focus on. It sounds counterintuitive, but I love the fact that I can learn about people's stories and then take the time to find the words that really reflect who they are and their experiences and how amazing they are.

Zoe Greenhalf: 6:02

What do you think is your favourite part of doing that? Is it listening to the story, coming up with the words or retelling what you've understood from that person to that person and explaining why you made the choices behind the words that you did choose?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 6:21

That's really difficult because I love all of those steps.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 6:26

I would say, first and foremost, foremost finding out about this story.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 6:29

So where I may have spoken to somebody briefly before, getting the wider background, the wider context as to who they are and their experiences, that I never get bored of.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 6:39

I just love finding out and being able to ask questions to find out more um, but I will say also just kind of sharing the Finnish story I do love, because I'm always a bit nervous because my interpretation may not be that person's um, may not reflect how that person sees themselves, so it's always a little bit risky um, but obviously I explain kind of my thinking behind it and usually that that makes sense. So I do love the kind of the reaction where when I've explained how I've chosen the words that I've chosen and kind of compared to what they've shared with me, it's lovely to see the reaction. And maybe sometimes when the penny drops, that and they understand what exactly they've said to me, because sometimes I will share particular phrases and they're like oh yes, I didn't necessarily, I would not necessarily join those two ideas together and that's what I love doing kind of, and that's what I've always done and I do in work as well, just kind of joining and finding relationships where people don't normally see them amazing.

Zoe Greenhalf: 7:48

Um, so you've actually just done my story and I'm dying. I'm dying to like share it with people. Can we share it? Can we tell them what you yes, you chose for?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 7:58

me okay, so I will read it so creatively designed, disanted, recalibrated and mischief making yes.

Zoe Greenhalf: 8:09

That's like my whole life. In six words, it's an incredible skill you have. I love that, though, because I love the way that you then reflected back to me the things that I'd said and put your own perspective on it, and you see things maybe in a slightly different way or in a way that I hadn't appreciated, but I really like your choice of words a lot. Thank you, um, so you said you've only been doing this for about seven or eight months. How did it come about?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 8:40

so I, being my curious self, I'd come across six-word stories just by accident, and I think it was an article, I think May or June last year, and I thought, oh, let me have a go at writing my own story. And I did it. And I was like, oh, that's quite interesting. And then I thought of a friend and I thought, well, let me have a go at writing theirs. So I did that and I thought I quite like me have a go at writing theirs. So I did that and I thought I quite like this. And then, whilst I was thinking about this friend, I was like, well, actually I've known them 20 years, over 20 years, and I thought, actually I've just written that story for who they are now and where they are. But actually, if we look at where they've come from, the experiences they've gone through, that I'm aware of, that they've shared with me so very you know, still kind of one dimensional, from what I know. I rewrote it and it was so different. It really excited me because it was like that extra dimension, that extra layer that was missing in the first, that I thought it was quite powerful for me to write it for them and, to be honest, I didn't share it with them and I just started writing for lots of my friends and I just couldn't stop writing. I did, I think, about 10 in like a couple of days.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 9:52

And then I did a couple for, you know, famous people and books. I literally just started playing around with it and I just loved the process. And then I realized, well, how am I writing these stories? It was very much from the information I had and I thought, well, actually, what if I actually sat and spoke to somebody? What would the story look like then?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 10:12

So I spoke with, I got a friend to kind of talk me through and I'll say a friend, somebody I knew, but not as well as and not a long-term friend, to talk me through her life. And then I wrote the story and actually the process of pulling together the questions I had asked her, the stages and kind of this, certain things that I I always ask, and weaving all of that in, I realized that I kind of inadvertently created a process that added some more depth to what I'd written from my, from my own knowledge. And that's when I thought and I kind of shared that back to her and she loved it. So that's when I was like, oh, this is quite different. So then I just started doing it for other friends and just kind of gone into it that way.

Zoe Greenhalf: 10:58

Have you got any ideas about where you want to take this concept, or are you simply doing it because you're enjoying it?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 11:07

so over the months I have got some ideas. So I put together a website back at the end of last year and I've been reiterating and what I realized was we start with kind of the life story, but there's so many different ways that this can be used, so I've now kind of summarised it into your life story and I did a motherhood stroke, fatherhood story. So parenthood, because actually as a mother myself, I realised that that snapshot, this part of my life since I've become, become a parent, is very different and can be encapsulated and described as a standalone experience. Actually, yeah, within my, my wider life story, that I felt that that's really powerful thing to appreciate and look at and capture. And then there's a love story, the stories of how people get together and how they work together and are as a couple. So those are kind of like the three areas, the three themes I guess I've got on the website and that I work to.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 12:13

And then somebody made a really good point recently Well, actually, what about business owners and leaders, who they know that they've got that skill and they love it, and there are things about it that they love? Who they know that they've got that skill and they love it and there are things about it that they love and there's been a journey, either a career journey or a business journey that again should be and can be captured. And when I look at it like that, so that's the kind of the newest thing I'm putting together. But when I look at it like that, yeah, I envisage being able to do stories for people where I guess you're creating a tile, an outline of your life at any point. So you've got milestones, I don't know marriage, your first career, a promotion, um, maybe even death I haven't thought about that as yet.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 12:53

But yeah, there's different stages of our lives, different experiences that you look back on and you want to capture, because we've got pictures, I mean, you've got those individual memories, but what about a collection and a description of that experience from what you remember, spoken and then captured?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 13:12

And that excites me actually, where somebody I could work with somebody on an ongoing basis and say well, you know, something's just happened in my life that I want to capture visually, in words, and then, kind of, you have your own wall or I don't know section or whatever, and that's kind of developed recently and that's what excites me and what I will say is, over the months I have myself not only kind of fallen into this love of I've always loved writing, but I've never done it publicly, so this was me kind of coming out into the world. But towards the end of last year I started painting, which is something I never thought I would do but I absolutely love because I've always been drawn to abstract art. So now that's part of the more recent kind of reiteration on the website the update I've actually shared my paintings as backgrounds to all of the stories that people can choose from.

Zoe Greenhalf: 14:05

That's incredible, and I think the thing that stands out to me about that is that you're being vulnerable twice over. I mean the fact that you're sharing your words and you're also sharing your art. Has it been quite a journey to get to a point where you felt comfortable to share these things, or have you always been a person who you know doesn't mind?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 14:26

being vulnerable. No, it's been a massive journey. So even to show anybody the words that I'd written when I started writing the six word stories was really like I said, I wrote all these stories for my friends and I never shared them. I was like I'll just keep this to myself. And then, the first time I spoke to a friend, I was like, can I kind of go through this with you and see? It was really.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 14:46

And like I said, every time I share a story with somebody, I'm really nervous because you know my interpretation could be very different, and that's the one thing as part of the process. People always say to me is there anything I can prepare? And I'm like no, because I really want to get you speaking honestly to me and authentically. I don't want a pre-rehearsed or really, shall we say, cultivated version of you that is really planned. I want the authentic person, because I know that we show up in life, we want to project and display ourselves a certain way and that I get. So just sharing it the first time was really difficult, but I know that sometimes these things have to be shared. Right, and as I realized, I didn't realize, but it seems to be very different. I don't know anybody else doing anything like this. No, so this is me putting it out into the world.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 15:37

And then, in terms of the paintings, I initially started with images that I'd come across, royalty free images that I felt really kind of aligned with the stories.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 15:48

But as time has gone I felt that they were very stylized that didn't kind of reflect what I'm feeling now.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 15:56

It has been gradual and that's when I've kind of left that and decided to do share my paintings, because a lot of my paintings to do share my paintings, because a lot of my paintings I'm drawn to color. I'm really kind of excited by them and like when I showed you kind of the options that you had, I'd selected from kind of maybe 10 that I have, those I felt really matched your story and your personality and that just excited me and I thought, well, actually, why kind of go with other people's painting pictures, which, which were appropriate, don't get me wrong, they worked, but I think the look and feel of what I'm trying to give people and their reaction, I felt that this was more appropriate, but it was. It has been very scary, very scary because I'm that person. I'm not really on social media, my husband is and I'm not even not comfortable with him sharing pictures of me. It's really weird, but yeah, so this has been a massive thing.

Zoe Greenhalf: 16:54

Yeah, I can imagine so. Was there a catalyst behind actually beginning, then, to share these stories and these paintings? Did something particular happen?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 17:06

So that's a really interesting question. So over the last year and a half I say yeah, a year and a half, maybe coming up two years something has happened and I can't really describe it. But how can I say something has shifted in me, something is shifting in me. I can feel that it's an ongoing change where I literally um, oh my gosh. It sounds so clich, but I feel like I'm stepping into my real self over this time. Not that I've been hiding, but maybe I have been really restricting myself and who I am and my interests, and I realized gosh, it sounds a lot, but maybe I was kind of sticking to the rules or kind of managing who I was, because it felt safer than actually exploring who I could be and who I actually felt I was, because actually now, who I am now is very different. Um, but that whole process has enabled me to write these stories and put them out into the world. And a a year ago, a year and a half ago, I would never have entertained it. I would have kept them to myself.

Zoe Greenhalf: 18:08

I get goosebumps hearing things like that, because I think it's so common to get to a point in your life where you kind of start to question is this the real me? Is this the way I am? Should I be like this? Is there something more to me? Is there something more to this life I'm here to live? You know, they're questions that I think a lot of us ask ourselves, but we don't necessarily always then allow these things to come up. We kind of squash them down and be like no, no, no, don't even entertain these weird thoughts, you know where are they coming from. I think it takes a bit of courage to actually say, well, I've got these ideas, I've got these thoughts and I'm willing to see what happens, to acknowledge them and just say, okay, what's going to happen next then. Was there like a defining moment? Was there something that really made you say I want to start writing or I want to start painting? I've never done that before.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 19:04

Yeah, no, but actually, when I think about how this probably all started, I would say it would be when I decided to do some solo travel, and when I say solo travel, it's not really solo travel.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 19:17

The first kind of trip was we had a friend's wedding in Italy in 2022. And I've always it was Sorrento and that's been on my list for years. I literally about 10 years I've wanted to go and I was like, oh, we're going. And and my friend was like no kids. I was like, oh, okay, no kids, we're going. And my husband was traveling at the time and his window for us to kind of go was a bit small and I thought, well, no, I'm gonna go out two days earlier and I'm gonna have a whole day on my own and I'm gonna do this and then when he arrives, he arrives, but I don't know when next I'm gonna go, and I booked it and I went early and that was like the first time traveling on my own. I'm wondering if ever yeah, ever where I'm not meeting somebody specifically. And it was one day and I remember waking up in the morning and going out of the hotel and finding you know, asking where's town, and the lady gave me directions and it was really vague and I was like, ooh, okay, um, I'm going to try and figure this out. And I didn't know where I was going. Um, we were staying in I don't know where. It was kind of beach side, but you had to go up these stairs and around the castle and the walls or whatever. And I'm just walking and trying to follow these directions, didn't know where I was going. But I got into town and there was some satisfying is not the word so gratifying maybe, or rewarding, rewarding probably, the fact that I didn't know where I was going. I wanted to ask directions but I thought, no, I'm just going to keep walking. And I got there and that moment of getting over the fear and the self-doubt, because I was like, am I going in the right direction? Probably not, but let's see. Yeah, getting into town, I was like, right, I've done this, and literally cliched, but something opened and it was like, right, I can do this. So that was September 22.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 21:13

Then last year, february, I had traveled with my brother previously to do ice skiing. Ok, I'll say ice ski again, something that I absolutely love doing and I've not really talked about. So I hadn't done it for years. Started um in 22 with my brother. We were supposed to go back in 23. He couldn't fit it in with his travel, with work, and I had that decision do I go, don't I go? Yeah, and I thought, no, I've just rediscovered something I love doing. I'm gonna go on my own. And again and this was for like five days, so a longer period and I was like, hmm, that felt not scary. But I was like, am I, how's this gonna work? And I booked it and I went and Zoe, again, as a mother, having that time those days on my own, it was so much more than the skiing.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 22:03

I was doing something I loved, but after the lessons I had time for myself. It was what do I want to do? And I don't have to rush, I don't have to. I love my kids, I love my husband, but it was no, you know, we've got to eat, we've got to. Ok, we'll do something I want to do, but I know they're going to be bored and then we've got to rush it. There was none of that. I did everything of sightseeing that I know none of my family would have been interested in doing. It felt so luxurious, I had time to read everything. It was just the most amazing.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 22:37

Four or five days and again that was like the second opening up of my world of like oh, but at the same time it was also what do I want to do? You know, you've always I spent so many years trying to figure out what the kids want, what my husband wants to do. You know, I know what I want to do. You know, you've always I spent so many years trying to figure out what the kids want, what my husband wants to do. You know, I know what I want to do, but it's always in a more confined period or timeframe. But when you've got days, it's like, oh, what do I want to do? And that was that was interesting Cause.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 23:03

Then it was like, actually sometimes I don't know what I really want to do, so I'm just going to walk about and do things and see, and this actually, oh my gosh, it's all coming back now. That actually is where I think the art thing came from. So I went to a museum and I spent hours there looking at the art and I would never have called myself interested in art, but I realised how happy I was. I just was like I can look at all the rooms and I don't have to rush. I spent hours in there that actually that is probably where it started from, um, but it's been compounded. Sorry long answer, but there's so many things happened because that was February last year.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 23:46

And then you know, when children teach you and show you the way and I don't know if this has ever happened to you, but my mother has this saying from the mouth of babes where they will speak the truth and they will show, we, show us what we have to do. So my cousin visited from um abroad in April last year and she I say my cousin, she's my cousin, she's 12 at the time and I'm like oh, what do you want to do? You're in London for the first time. Where do you want to go? See the castle? Do you want to go on a bus tour or you know other things you think young kids want to do? You know what she told me, zoe? She's like all I want to do is go to the design museum. Wow.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 24:21

I was like, oh, okay, we can do that, because that's somewhere I've wanted to go for years and I've never got around to it. And we went and again, walking into that building, I felt like I was home. It sounds, I don't know it was like an energy thing. I walked in and just seeing all of that stuff it was, I don't know. It's like a weight I can't describe it but something opened up again.

Zoe Greenhalf: 24:51

If you're a small business doing things differently, an independent brand disrupting the status quo, or simply an unconventional, adventurous individual looking to make more of a positive impact, I'd love to hear from you so we can share your story or create some amazing sponsorship opportunities together.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 25:09

I'm always open to collaborations too, so dm me on instagram at the mischief movement over this year and a half I've been doing things, not necessarily planned, but there's been an opening up and a friend another friend discussing this has said she had something similar happen to her and she would say she described it as an undressing, a removing of like layers. Yeah, so she felt lighter, where she was kind of letting something go that she didn't realize she was carrying. So maybe that's what it is, um, so then I'm kind of putting myself more in these artistic environments that I would never and I had never done before, but realizing I loved it and I just couldn't get enough. And then I can't remember, some other stuff happened. But in August, september last year I was on, so I was on Facebook and a course came up for abstract art and it was really reasonably priced and I was like I can't paint, I can't draw, or so I said I was like I'm gonna just try this and see. And I bought it and started painting every week and that's the other thing I've been painting with my daughter. So that's been lovely.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 26:23

We've kind of like ended up having this time together that we wouldn't normally have and I couldn't get enough and the progress I had made in those three months they literally the first painting I did. The kids laughed at me and when I say laughed, belly laughed, they were like no, mum, just don't, don't, you can't. It looks like a five-year-old. I was like I know, but for me, again, as I said, colours, I was just like I'm going with these colours and when I look at that first painting to what I well, you'll see now from the stuff that I've got, my progress I'm really I'm so proud of my progress and I guess it is that thing of, yeah, the kids are laughing, fine, but seeing how, where I've come from, yeah, I now I'm like more comfortable and not excited, but I feel more comfortable showing it and it felt like the right thing to do to use my artwork yeah, oh, my goodness me.

Zoe Greenhalf: 27:13

There is so much to unpack there and so many things that you did. That I just love, because from time that you went away by yourself and you know you had to you had to trust that you would figure things out and you did. And you know you had to. You had to trust that you would figure things out and you did, and you know. Then you have another opportunity to go away and you decide you're going to do it and you put yourself out of your comfort zone completely intentionally. You end up creating the mental space for yourself that you haven't had before. So there's another thing we're always taught these things, but actually putting them into action always feels difficult. It sounds as though it was a very smooth ride for you, but I'm sure it wasn't.

Zoe Greenhalf: 28:00

You know, embracing all these different ideas, of putting yourself in situations where you have to trust that you're going to figure things out, of allowing things to just unfold as well. You know, we're often told just let go of what the results are going to be, and it's really, it's really hard for us to do that. That's not how society conditions us to think. We're always programmed to think about the outcomes, whereas if we can actually just pursue something because we, we really love it. You've no idea how that's going to unfold. And this sense of opening up that you describe is also one thing. Is knocking the next thing. Which is knocking the next thing yeah, I spoke about this in the last episode that I recorded where I have friends who are so focused on the idea of pursuing an interest because they want to turn it into a business or something and I'm saying, no, it's not about that.

Zoe Greenhalf: 28:56

It might end up there, but it could simply be that this thing that you're really excited about is a gateway into the next thing. And if we can just allow those things to happen and say, oh, I'm interested in art, I'm going to go with that interest and just see what happens, it doesn't mean it's not prescribed that you're going to end up as an artist and that that's how you're going to make a living. But you know, you awaken that sense of joy when you are around colour, or you learn that actually you've got a really good sense for design, or you've suddenly found your new favorite museum. You just don't know, do you?

Zoe Greenhalf: 29:37

Um, so there's so many good, good things in there that I just think, wow, you were doing that and you were doing that and and no wonder in a way that you're going through this kind of transformation, because little things are knocking. You know, the dominoes are starting to kind of knock down the next ones, which I think is beautiful. So I guess what I want to ask you next is where you think life might take you within the next year, couple of years. Have you got any idea, or are you just gonna go with the flow and see what happens?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 30:14

so I don't have any idea and I'm going to go with the flow, because for me, historically, that in itself is a massive thing, because I'm a planner um, as I said, my day job I am very analytical, so I'm you'm, you know, there's always the, the risk analysis, what's the what if? The plan B, the plan C, whatever? And for the first time, I don't really have one other than I just want to keep doing this and writing stories for people, enabling, um, you know, me to do, keep doing my art and and marrying the two and see where it comes, because I never realised how much joy I get from seeing people's reactions and the whole process of. For me, each story in a way, is like a challenge. It's the pieces, putting together the pieces, and sometimes some stories come together really quickly and really easily and sometimes, actually, I can kind of have a really good sense, as I'm talking to the person, of some of the words, and others really will take more finessing, because certain things are just not fitting or I have an idea, but a part of their story isn't coming through in in the words that I have and I feel it's really important. I don't want to leave it out, and that's the the challenge. And as long as I keep enjoying this challenge and I and people enjoy or feel that what I'm doing is worthwhile and they, they resonate with it, I will keep doing it. And it's nice, I'm doing it without any expectation. You know, this is something I'm doing and I hope I will do it for a long time and I fell into it, so that's a nice thing, I think.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 31:55

As you you said, I've previously been that person. I'll you know I've got an interest. Let's see where this can go as an idea. But now I've taken a lot of pressure off myself in a way, so I'm just going to see how it unfolds. But playing around with what it could be, I'm really excited that, as I said, kind of more on the business side, working with entrepreneurs, business owners, that excites me to see where that could go, potentially doing collabs, working on projects where you know you may have a product or something and I could write a story for that, or you know a journey, those kinds of things. Story for that, or you know a journey, those kind of things, because I think it actually works and marries itself with a lot of things.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 32:36

Um, I actually thought of this partly as well, having looked into having stories done and having an audio kind of memoir done, and I realized we actually my brother and I actually had one done, um, for my dad, and it was great, it was really good.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 32:48

But then I realized we actually my brother and I, actually had one done for my dad and it was great, it was really good. But then I realized it's what an hour and a half of audio and it's kind of just there on the computer on the memory stick and we've got to physically go and, you know, engage with it to listen to it. Whereas for me the stories that I've done, and because they are so succinct, they're visual. You don't have to go through a whole book to understand the person's journey. You, you can see it there, you know whether or not it's on the wall on your phone as a screensaver, on your laptop, but it's, it's more digestible and and hopefully somebody sees that you know it's on's more digestible and and hopefully somebody sees that you know it's on the wall or whatever, and they get that, that excitement again so multiple times it's not, oh, I need to think let me go back and listen or read the book to to get that enthusiasm again and that excites me.

Zoe Greenhalf: 33:46

Yeah, I keep. I keep coming up with new ideas for you. I'm like oh, you could apply it to this and oh, you could apply it to that, so I'll share those with you.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 33:55

Yes, after we've finished yeah, but just if you know, if I could keep doing this and and working in the art, because I have just I don't know, I've just loved doing them and certain combinations and textures will come to me and I just run away and do something and it works or it doesn't work, but now I've got somewhere to share it, as opposed to just being in my folder at home.

Zoe Greenhalf: 34:19

Yeah, I wonder, like, what conversation we would have had if I'd have met you in a business analyst environment, because it feels like there's these two different versions that are living side by side right now, and I think that's very true of all of us. We're never one thing, we're always a mixture of these different experiences and different skills and things. But, um, do you manage to integrate what you do as a sort of day job with this go with the flow side of life, or are they living very compartmentalized at the moment?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 34:55

at the moment they're compartmentalized, because my job is to identify how I can make improvements, what the best options. You know the cost side of things, which is fine, but with what I'm doing with the stories, it's very different. However, I would say that where we've got the kind of the bridge is the process that I go through in in my work life to pull together lots of information, lots of different information sources, to then create understanding, create a story, create a position from that that then will inform something else. So there is very much my kind of synthesis, uh process at work that I have kind of brought over into this.

Zoe Greenhalf: 35:37

I think that could be applied to say many things, considering that we live in such a complicated world and we're always looking for things to be simplified and I love, I love simplifying things that maybe maybe too much.

Zoe Greenhalf: 35:49

I love that, though. So quite often on the podcast I'm talking to people who are running their own business or they've turned their passion into their career and it feels like at the moment you're living these two things. There's a lot of people who are doing that, who are cultiv that, who are cultivating their passions and not knowing where they're going to go. Um, have you got any advice for somebody who's in that boat where you know they're in the day job and they're doing the day job, but actually outside of work there's all this exciting stuff going on that they're kind of trying to explore.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 36:32

I don't know, because that's something that I am actually trying to work through myself, because there are parts of my job that I love and I would quite happily do for quite a while, a while, but the the last year and a half, I realized that, like I said, the old me is kind of disappearing and I feel like, in a way that at some point I don't know if it's going to be in the next year, two years, five years I've still got quite a while to work if I choose to, um, but I do feel like it's inevitable in some way that I am not going to be working in that way. However, I you know I could possibly consult and maybe that's how I would stay in that world doing one of projects, but my heart and my soul feels like doing that every day will not be what I'm doing in the longterm, and managing it is difficult, because you know you have days that you've sat there and you're like this is not where I'm supposed to be right now or whatever, and then you have other days I'm like no, it's fine, so it changes, and I think we just have to be compassionate with ourselves, go easy on ourselves and recognize that there will be days that your day job or the main thing will be fine and you'll enjoy it, but there will still be that pull and I can't really say, because I am that person who is risk averse, so it will take a lot for me to kind of walk away from that, but just in terms of the joy I get doing the stories and the art, it's not quite there with work anymore. I will admit, yeah, but I don't know it's, it's so personal, it's hanging in there and knowing that everything has a time, everything has a phase and everything will change so and everything's cyclical, right? So you will go through phases where I love writing my stories and doing my art, but I have had times where I've had something in my mind to paint and it just isn't working. And I'm doing it two and three times and it just isn't working, just like you do, like I do in my day job, that certain things are just not working out or challenging, and so that will reduce that love and that joy for a moment. But you know you get through it and you either get there or you don't.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 38:50

To be fair, sometimes I've not been able to turn a painting into what I want it to be and I just have to leave it. But what I have learned and it was by accident is I did something, I loved it, I put another layer on it and I I ruined it, but actually I took a picture of it and then, when I was zooming around in the picture, there was a section of it that was great and that's what I ended up using, and so certain things can be salvageable and it's not necessarily as bad as we think it is, and I think maybe that's what I would say to somebody that when you're in, whatever you're in, and it may feel difficult and hard and unpleasant, there's always going to be something good if we look for it. I know that sounds very Pollyanna-ish, but that's something I've learned over the last, I'd say, since Covid. I mean, I think for many people Covid was a demarcation point where stuff happened and people made decisions or didn't, and I had a lot of stuff going on personally at that time. Luckily we weren't affected by COVID as a family, but there was other stuff going on and I look back on that time and it was really difficult and unpleasant at times, but there were good things in that time and for me COVID was a good thing because it brought me home.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 40:11

I was able to work at home and I've not really actually gone back four years later. I worked from home on the whole and it's given me work-life balance that I never had and I never envisaged I could have. And if that hadn't happened I would still be stressed, running, you know, to work long hours, rushing back, trying to feed the kids, get them to bed, whatever. And COVID happened. I sleep two hours more every day. I was operating on five or six hours a night for 20 years. Now, four years later, I get two hours. I was like, ah, a new person. Sorry, but you know, and even the kids my eldest has left home now, but even the kids I know will have seen the difference in mummy. I am not as stressed and I think I said to you my daughter, who was the youngest one, who's still at home. I feel a bit guilty that she is experiencing a very different mum than my eldest, who obviously I get moments of stress, but the stress is so much different and so much lower because I'm in my environment, I paint it, I paint this room every few years. I love it, I'm at home, I get up, I come down, I start work, I finish, I close the door, we eat well, I have time to cook properly now because I'm not commuting.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 41:26

Our lifestyle, our health, has improved so much because of COVID, and when we were in it it was horrible, but I can see all these great things that have happened.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 41:37

I exercise more, I'm healthier. Our relationship, you know, with the kids, whatever is better, because I am not coming home stressed Do your homework, get to bed, whereas now I have an extra hour or two. We can have a longer time at dinner and have that conversation. So, you know, no matter how uncomfortable we are with our situation, where people might be hoping to navigate out of work or at least find something else that they want to do, and it's frustrating, there's something good if we look for it, and I think we've got to get into the habit of looking, because it's easy to complain and get bogged down in. This is not what I want, it's not working for me, but there's always something, even if the sun's shining today or I had an extra half an hour before I worked or I had a lunch break, cause actually that's the one thing I will say working at home. I don't necessarily take lunch breaks as much as I should, um, but the days that I do, I'm just like yay.

Zoe Greenhalf: 42:37

I've had a break, yeah, and I feel like we've all missed come full circle, in the sense that the thing that was coming up for me then when you were talking was this sense of curiosity. It's like, well, what is possible? What could I achieve if I stick with it, if I ask a few more questions, if I try something new, if I don't just accept my situation, but I look at how things could change. I think we could all benefit from being a bit more curious and then we can get back to integrating more of the things we love, even if we're not doing them full time as a career or whatever, but just integrating more of them we love, even if we're not doing them full-time as a career or whatever, but just integrating more of them.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 43:15

Yeah, um, definitely from that. And I think I think you're absolutely right. The curiosity piece of well, just saying to yourself, what if? Without putting the pressure on yourself to have the answer, yeah, it's just like playing around. What if? Because for me it was what if I went out a day earlier than my husband? It was like, oh, I've got to sort out childcare, oh, I feel guilty, all of those things. But you did it, I did it and it was great. But even now it's like well, what if I painted? I can't paint, but what if I tried All of these things? And I think I don't know.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 43:48

I personally put a lot of pressure on myself because I want things to look a certain way, or I have an expectation, or I have an idea of myself. That actually is really constraining. And now I'm doing it because, literally the kids are like who is? Who is this woman? You're painting, you're, you're traveling on your own and I'm like really arty, I bought all these art books and they're like what, who is this? And then, more recently, I've started this kind of fitness thing, endurance race that I'm training for.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 44:18

And my my kids are like you're doing what you're running, Cause I don't, I don't like running, but I've been running like I ran 11 kilometers the other day and I would say I'm not a distance runner but I'm doing it and everybody's like what happened and it's just oh, I'll have a go and I'll see. And now the whole world has opened up.

Zoe Greenhalf: 44:37

Yeah, yeah, just keep leaning into those things that you are getting excited about and see where they go. Definitely, and.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 44:44

I think for me, the last thing I would say is um, I am of a certain age, kind of mid-40s, and I think to an extent maybe is that whole thing of you're not over the hill, but if you haven't done it yet, what's the point? And as I've got older, I care less and I think that has given me a massive sense of freedom to do some of this that I don't know if I would have done in my thirties, ironically, when I had more energy and probably could have done it a bit better. So if anybody is kind of listening and wondering, I think we're in our prime. I really I feel that I and I never thought I would- yeah and again talking with a friend, um, about this whole experience.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 45:26

I don't know about you, but the person I was in my 20s I was, you know, get up and go, I'll do it whatever. If I just set my mind to something, I'm on it straight away, whereas over the last few years you sit, you think, find all the reasons you can't or not, can't, but why it probably won't work or is inconvenient, and I am now at that stage I'm like, no, I'm gonna find my old self yeah, and.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 45:48

And I'm going to get on with it because I know I did so. The fact that I was that person before, why? Why not go back to her now without the concerns maybe, um, or self-doubt that was there in my twenties? Yeah, I now really don't have Totally with you on that one. Yeah.

Zoe Greenhalf: 46:08

Oh, I love this conversation so much. Um, where can can people find you? I know you said you're not a massive social media user, but I do think you have a website, don't you?

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 46:17

I do um, so the website is sixplus2.com, so all words s-i-x-p-l-u-s-t-w-ocom. And I do have a fledgling Instagram account which you can access um there, which is six plus two. Is you um, but still working through that? Because, yeah, still a bit shy oh, it's been lovely.

Zoe Greenhalf: 46:39

Thank you so much for sharing.

Onika Griffith-Elliott: 46:40

Thank you and thank you, and you know what, thank you, and I will just say the universe has put us together. Everything happens as it should, fully we will. I think we'll have to share that story another time, but yes, we, we found each other by sheer accident and it was.

Zoe Greenhalf: 46:56

It's been amazing, so thank you so here are my takeaways from this episode with Anika. Number one sounds obvious, but get curious. Two sometimes the best ideas are discovered accidentally. This is why I always talk about leaning into those things that make you feel alive, because you never know where they'll take you. Three follow the feelings of excitement and don't worry about whether things are logical or not. Four sharing your passion or something you've worked on can feel super vulnerable and uncomfortable, but sometimes sharing them is also the greatest gift you can give to others and yourself.

Zoe Greenhalf: 47:34

Five don't be afraid to rely on yourself to figure things out. It's scary to do things alone, but we're often so much more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, and the first time we manage to do something, we start to build that self-trust, which then makes it easier the next time, as we become more confident and less afraid. Six make time for yourself and ask yourself what would I love to do? As a parent or carer, this may feel particularly difficult, but carving out the time to put your needs first can benefit everyone around you as you lean into those things that bring you joy. Everyone around you as you lean into those things that bring you joy. Seven it's okay to not know what you'd like to do. We're conditioned to perform a certain way by society. We tick the boxes, we give ourselves to others, we dedicate our time to families, work, whatever it is. But if you don't know, make some time to find out. It could be as simple as opening that book. You've had sat there for years taking a walk, tuning into what you enjoyed as a child. If you stay curious, you'll find something.

Zoe Greenhalf: 48:38

Eight, don't fall into the trap of labelling yourself as one thing. You can be analytical and experimental, logical and spontaneous, business-minded, yet still extremely creative. We're usually a mixture of different abilities and interests and, as such, can afford to explore all of them before we choose where to give more of our attention. And number nine do things without expectation. That way, you immediately take the pressure off having to reach a certain money goal or specific follow account. Ask yourself what if? And then go right ahead and do it simply because you enjoy it.

Zoe Greenhalf: 49:20

Well, I hope you loved today's episode and it made you think differently or perhaps nudged you into changing something in your life that's not working for you. I'd love to give you a shout out right here, on the podcast too. So let me know what you think, what you'd like to hear more of or how you've been inspired to take bold action. Let's keep in touch over on Instagram @the mischief movement, or click the link in the show notes to sign up to my mischief mail newsletter, where you'll get exclusive insights on upcoming episodes and your chance to submit questions to future guests. But shh, don't tell anyone, it's our secret. Please keep spreading the word about the podcast. You're doing such an amazing job and I'm also super grateful for your five star ratings on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, which seriously helped my mission to inspire and empower more people like us to choose mischief over mediocre. Have a great week and keep making mischief, ciao.