10 Ways You Can Shift from Stuck to Unstoppable

Ever felt like you're stuck in a life you're not fully satisfied with? Today's episode of the Mischief Movement Podcast is all about breaking free from that feeling of stagnation. We're exploring ways to challenge our traditional thought patterns to bring more fun, freedom, and positive disruption into our lives - even when we feel like we don't know the next step. 

We dive headfirst into the idea of feeling stuck - from dealing with daily monotony to lacking the momentum to bring about change. This journey is all about challenging our limiting beliefs and reclaiming control of our lives. I'll be talking you through ways to get things moving again like cultivating creativity, seeking out new experiences, and reconnecting with your inner rebel.

I really want you to feel a part of the Mischief Movement too so I encourage you to reach out, share your stories, and tell me how the  podcast has inspired you. Connect with me on Instagram or sign up for the Mischief Mail newsletter to discover which guest will be inspiring you to shake things up next week. Let's create an intentional life that's full of fun, rebellion and making more mischief...

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hello, it's Zoe, and welcome, or welcome, back to the Mischief Movement podcast, your weekly inspo for people looking for more hell yeah in their life. Consider this you're one way to get out of mid-life mediocrity towards fun and positive impact via playful disruption. Wouldn't you love to wake up and feel like a total badass? How about breaking some rules, throwing two fingers up to society and doing more of the things you love? I'm talking full on freedom, adventure and those meaningful connections I know you've been craving. Stop waiting for your amazing life to happen and go get it. I'll be picking the brains of some true game changers and mischief makers so I can share what I find and hopefully inspire you to shake things up, do more of what makes you feel alive and boldly rebel against the ordinary. I have no idea what I'm doing, to be honest, but I've got a mission and I'm here to start a movement. This could be quite the adventure. Care to join me? Okay, here goes Hello, hello and welcome back to series three. It's been a hot minute, hasn't it? But I'm so bloody excited to get going again and dive into the questions, interviews and just general mischievous musings that are going to empower you to challenge the way you've been thinking and confidently create the changes you need to feel like a badass and bring back the fun.

Speaker 1: 1:32

So before we kick off, I want to tell you about a few little mischief movement updates Now. The main one is that soon you'll be able to find me at themischchiefmovementcom. I'm in the process of building out the website, but, as this is all new to me and I'm working all out as I go, it's not quite ready yet. The reason I'm telling you, however, is so that one, you can go back and check on it, because once I figure out what the hell I'm doing, I will be having some sort of fun, free resources for you and hopefully it can become a place for us to kind of connect outside of the social media. And number two, this is what it looks like to start scrappy. I mean, I want you to see that I don't have all my ducks in a row. But fuck it. I've got a domain name. I'm learning about funnels. I've no idea what I'm doing, but I am confident that I'll figure it out. So just jump in the trenches with me and let's build it all together. You can even ask me how it's going if you want. What I'm doing, how I'm doing it. You can be sure that I'll give you an honest update about that.

Speaker 1: 2:48

On the subject of free resources, I'd also love to know what you really need right now. So this is your chance to submit your ideas and have me create them for you, or at least I'll try. I think I know what would be helpful, but without your input I could be totally wrong. So please do tell me what you're struggling with and what things would really help to ease those pain points, and then I can get busy making them for you. Alongside the podcast and my job, I'm also building up my coaching knowledge and experience too. So, although my website is unfinished, again I'm still telling you about the coaching, because there's no point waiting when I know I can help people right now. I don't need a website to coach you. I just need you to know that the possibility to work with me exists, and then, as Marie Forleo would say, the rest is all figure outable.

Speaker 1: 3:49

Next thing, I've got a whole list on the old agenda Right. One idea I'd like to bring into each episode but so far I just haven't worked out properly is the creation of some sort of tradition. So I'm thinking along the lines of something that kind of inspires connection, maybe passing from one guest to the next, or something that becomes a feature every single week. I mean, I've had a few ideas, but none of them have really jumped out at me and felt like the one, so I'm throwing it open to you. Have you got any suggestions for something that we can bring out every episode? Yeah, some sort of new tradition with a cheeky twist? Pass the brief. If you have any ideas, hit me up. And finally, I'm going to try really hard to turn my monthly emails into more of a weekly affair where you'll be able to see who my next guest is before the episode goes live. And not only that, but once I've got the new interviews booked in, subscribers will be the first to know and be able to submit their own questions for me to choose from. So again, this is your chance to be a part of future episodes, as you can then decide whether you want to leave your name or you want to remain anonymous. I just thought that that would be quite cool to kind of bring you guys in, and, you know, if you've got any burning questions for people, I'd be bringing in different experts and different fields. So yeah, whatever you guys feel like you need to know, please feel free to get in touch and, of course, you can still leave your feedback by sending me a DM or hitting reply to my email newsletter, and then I can also give you a shout out to. Okay, I think that's it. I think we can get going with this week's episode.

Speaker 1: 5:47

So, first up, can I be honest with you. This is not actually the episode I'd planned to kick off the next season with. It's been a little bit of a last minute substitution, but this is because I felt like this subject of feeling lost or stuck or trapped in a life that we don't want to be living is where I want to serve you most. It's all well and good me talking about having more fun and making more mischief, but the truth is and here's where I feel a little bit vulnerable telling you I'm also not living my dream life yet. Not only that, but I'm also surrounded by loads of people not leaving theirs either, and it will be so easy to hide this from you and pretend I've got all my shit together. You know I'm out here living my best life amazing salary, endless amounts of freedom, holidays, blah, blah, blah doing all the stuff I love morning to night. Yeah, I'm just not down with pretending to be someone or somewhere that I'm not yet. It's stuff I'm working towards, but it's not. There is not how I wanted to be just yet.

Speaker 1: 7:04

Over the summer I had an amazing time catching up with loads of my brilliant friends, connecting with people I know and also creating new friendships. So I had the opportunity to talk to a lot of people and whilst many of them were congratulating me on the success of this podcast and telling me you know how much I'm inspiring them to make changes and do things scared, some of them then went on to tell me about their own daily struggles. And from these conversations, two themes seem to emerge right. There were the people who had a dream but, for whatever reason, felt like they couldn't really achieve it, so they'd kind of resigned themselves to the fact that it wouldn't ever happen. Basically, I guess they were just afraid to take the action and afraid of what others might think. You know, like this fear of failing and being afraid of taking that leap of faith and trusting themselves. So, these beautiful humans, they have a dream. They're just too scared to take the action.

Speaker 1: 8:12

And then there was the other group of people who knew they were unhappy many of them doing unfulfilling jobs or never having the time to dedicate to themselves but they just couldn't figure out what they actually wanted. So they also had nowhere to aim for, or in some cases it was like loads of idea, or the idea is just no clue which one to focus on first. So today I'd really like to talk to you. If you fall into that second group, I mean, even if you don't, we probably all know someone who does, and what I've got to say might help them. So please, even if you've got your life totally under control, your compass pointing in the right direction, stay with me here and let's see if we can't give them some sort of useful tool or advice to help them gain a little bit of momentum and feel a little bit less stuck, because it's a really shit place to be in.

Speaker 1: 9:11

You feel like you're kind of spinning around in circles, not getting anywhere, and it can be really disheartening. First things first. Can I just say I too have been in this kind of spinning around in circle state for years, and I want you to know that it's so frustrating when you have these ideas but you just don't know where to begin, or you doubt yourself, and so all you end up doing is just standing still, and you know, the advice that everyone gives you when you feel stuck is just take some action. Anything is better than a thing Now. Personally, I grew so tired of hearing this. I was literally about ready to punch the next person who said it in the face. How can you take action when you can't get clear on where you want the outcome to be? I just kept thinking, like, well, if I knew what the end goal was, then I'd know where to begin. Right, I figured you might be interested to hear how I break out of this cycle, so I've broken it down into 10 ways that you can shift from feeling stuck to literally soaring and building the momentum that you need to get your one wildlife back on track. How does that sound Right? So number one own it. First point to note is about owning your stuc-ness. So by this I mean taking responsibility for getting yourself there and thus giving yourself permission and taking your power back to get yourself out again. In fact, it's quite empowering to think that, whatever situation you're in right now, there are things you can do to help yourself. So take it for me, suck it up, take the responsibility and say all right, I got myself here and now I'm going to get myself out again. At the same time, you can start to challenge your limiting beliefs by identifying and questioning the ones that hold you back.

Speaker 1: 11:18

Personally, and I can only speak from my own experience, I believed that I didn't know what I wanted, except for a few half-baked ideas about helping loads of people and creating a positive impact. That was it. That was all I knew, and I told myself often that I didn't know how I was going to go about doing this. I wasn't clear on the outcome. My main focus in my life at that point was just this burning desire to figure out my purpose and what it was I was put on this earth to do, so that I could then go hell for leather in that direction and be crazy successful in the process. My reality looked very different, because what then happened was I became obsessed with this idea of finding a purpose and trying to gain clarity. I knew I didn't want the job I had and that I had the potential to do so much more, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I constantly told myself I didn't know what.

Speaker 1: 12:13

But the problem with thoughts is that the more you think them, the more you become them. They then become like ingrained in you and they start to form your beliefs. I genuinely believed. I didn't know what to do next. So if this is you, you could start from this point Okay, I don't know what I do want, but I absolutely know what I don't. I've dipped into a journal many a times to kind of say alright, I don't really know where it is I'm going, but these are all the things I know that I don't want, and they can then become your starting point. The main point is don't get hung up on that stuff. Get curious about where you'd like to get to and don't take it too seriously like I did.

Speaker 1: 13:03

Number two define your values. If you've done any sort of personal development work, then you'll have already come across this idea, probably, of choosing three to five values that then embody who you are and kind of demonstrate the way in which you want to live. So aligning your life choices with these values can then bring a sense of purpose and fulfillment. But how do you find your values? I used to get really stumped on this one. I could always seem to come up with like 10 or 15, but I was constantly told, well, you need to have, you know, four or five or six or whatever, and narrowing them down was always really difficult. I did an exercise with a coach some years back which helped me a great deal.

Speaker 1: 13:57

So what you can do is you can start with your huge list of values and then start to narrow that down to like 20 or something. These are words that just really jump out at you, things you swear by the way you want people to see you, the things that are really important to you and important in the way you express yourself, and maybe what you look for in others too. I'll give you an example. Freedom is one of mine. It's like the big one that I hold on to and it acts as a point of reference that I come back to time and time again. Anyway, take your list of 20 or 25, whatever it is and then, on a sheet of paper, draw yourself out three to five columns I mean it could be six, but you know let's go with three to five and then what you can do is you can start using these columns to group together your 20 odd words where they feel similar, for example, if you've got among your values authenticity, and then you find that you've also got honesty or transparency, you might go back through your list and go OK, those are kind of similar. They'll go in one column altogether. They can be interpreted in a similar way. At the end of this exercise, you should have three to five or six columns of words and then from these you can pick out the real standout word from each column and use these ones to form your core values.

Speaker 1: 15:40

Also, just as a side note, they're not set in stone. You can change them. In fact, they probably will change as you evolve as a person. Mine at the moment and they haven't always been this, but mine at the moment of freedom, adventure, connection and disruption Although I could easily add mischief in its own right or something like playfulness, but I've decided that they're almost part of the bigger umbrella of disruption for now. So that's why I've just got those four. Anyway, have a go. Get clear on your values and the things that are important to you.

Speaker 1: 16:19

Number three set bold goals. Could you set yourself some ambitious, rebellious goals that excite you? These goals should stretch your limits and inspire action. So what would you do? What? Why would you do this if you don't know what your direction is. Okay, because it helps you create movement and momentum, and that's what's going to stop you from feeling stuck. So where I went wrong was by making my goal to find my purpose. Yes, it's a big, bold goal, but listen, don't do that. It just got me frustrated and annoyed at myself for not being able to work it out. Instead, you could choose a goal based around one of your passions. Keep it light, keep it fun. It's not about finding your life's work. So, are you a maker or a designer? Challenge yourself to have your first stall at a market or a craft fair, or open an Etsy store. It doesn't matter that you're not sure that that's something you can do for the rest of your life. It's just about leaning into something that makes you feel good and using that as a springboard for other opportunities to open up again.

Speaker 1: 17:45

I'm speaking from experience. I did do this. I challenged myself to open an Etsy store, which I did, and I was terrified. But off the back of leaning into my creative side. I was then invited to participate in a rock'n'roll pop-up store called Hellfire Collective, and that then gave me the chance to connect with all these amazing, badass brand owners who I'm still in touch with two years later. I was also invited to step in and help at Camp VC, which is another event I am super thrilled to still be involved in two years later, even though I've put the leather aside and you know, it did get me moving. I wasn't sure where it would go when I started, but I went with it anyway and I figured out a lot of other stuff along the way.

Speaker 1: 18:38

A big part of my journey into podcasting, in fact, was sort of well, it came from when I would listen to other people's podcasts as I worked in my basement creating my leather goods. I got really into the whole world of personal development quite a lot thanks to podcasts and they inspired me to think differently and they also helped me realise that, as well as being creative, I also really really loved learning. So I was benefiting from all the mindset stuff I was listening to each day and next thing, you know, voila, I've turned my passion into this podcast Right. Number four embrace change. Change is a constant in life, so sometimes we tell ourselves that we're stuck, but the harsh truth is that there's often something we enjoy within that. I know that sounds weird, but hear me out.

Speaker 1: 19:37

So last year I was chatting to an amazing friend of mine, sara Bell. You may have listened to her episode I think it was number seven, maybe, in the first series and she gave me a kick up the ass when she said right, if you feel truly stuck right now, there's probably something you like about it. I literally laughed in her face and replied like, of course I don't like being stuck. I mean, who does? You're going nowhere. But she insisted that I look a bit harder, and I have to admit that she was totally right.

Speaker 1: 20:11

I was at that moment, I was broke, I was unemployed, I was full of ideas, yet at the same time realising none of them there was. There was this underlying comfort about saying I was stuck. It seems really obvious now. Of course there is, because when you're saying you're stuck, you're almost using that as an excuse to not take any action. Okay, yes, I had no money, but at least I was free, because I also had no boss on my back. You know it's a false freedom Because, come on, where are you going to go when you've got no cash coming in? But you see, there I was telling everyone I was really stuck, when really being stuck had also become my comfort blanket and my excuse for not taking any action. I didn't like the lack of money, but at the same time, I was very happy being in control of how I spent my time and not having to answer to anyone. Change is an opportunity for growth and adventure and, as I've said before, if you're not growing, you're absolutely doing the opposite.

Speaker 1: 21:26

Number five cultivate creativity. Now, I've touched on this a little bit already with my story about the Etsy store and leather accessory business, but engaging in creative activities, whether it's painting, writing, experimenting with new hobbies it all sparks new perspectives, new ideas. They don't have to be your life's work, so take the pressure off. This is simply an invitation to return to something you enjoyed when you were a child, maybe, or trying a technique you've always wanted to try, or I don't know. Leaning into photography, having a gut writing, designing your own clothes, literally whatever sets your soul on fire will likely be a stepping stone into something else. Notice, I'm not saying it's going to be the end goal, it's probably not. But if you treat it like that, like a stepping stone, that way you can enjoy the creative process rather than wondering, you know, oh, what point should I turn this into a business. No, there's no rush, there are no rules. Be creative because you love being creative. That's it.

Speaker 1: 22:35

Number six seek new experiences. Again, this is linked with stepping out your comfort zone and trying new things. So a novel experience can totally reignite your passion and curiosity. And you might think Well, that's all well and good, but where do I find the time I get that? It can be really hard fitting in stuff like this. Like you know, fun stuff, extra stuff that doesn't often take priority, does it? But here I would refer you back to episode two of the podcast, where I talked about a game changing book that I read called the power of fun, and if I can sum up the book in one sentence, it would be how to rediscover the things that light you up and then do more of them, and how you do that comes down to being intentional.

Speaker 1: 23:25

So don't look for the time in between your school meetings, your work schedule and your family responsibilities. You won't find it. Instead, carve it out, take out your calendar and book in a day, an hour, a weekend, at the beginning of the month for doing something new just one, and then build the other stuff around it. That is how you put seeking new experiences at the top of the list. In fact, I mean, that's how you put anything at the top of your to do list. Come to think fit and then you just see where these experiences take you. And if money is a problem and you can't afford to try new activities, try a different approach. A new experience could simply mean spending a day or a week living by the role of a die.

Speaker 1: 24:17

Now, my friend, clay Lowe, who's also been on the podcast, introduced me to this concept after he recommended I read a book called the dice man. You could also toss a coin, but then you've got to respect the outcome. You, you set your own outcomes, whether that's you know a yes or a no with a toss of a coin, or whether you've got six possible outcomes using a die. But it forces you to get uncomfortable and, as we all know by now, that's where the growth happens. Right, you still with me?

Speaker 1: 24:55

Number seven connect with your inner rebel. Of course, I want to help you discover your inner rebel. That's what this is all about the part of you that refuses to conform to societal norms, because this can be a really powerful source of motivation. What if you feel stuck with your weight, for example, societies conditioned you to believe that over a certain age or after having kids, you just have to accept that you put weight on. But again, why? I'm not saying it's easy to lose the weight.

Speaker 1: 25:32

Trust me, I am over 40. I've had two kids, but I sure as hell don't accept that it has to be the norm or that it's inevitable. I don't believe that. I also don't believe that anyone over 40 is old, despite the fact that just last week I attended a birthday party. A friend of mine was turning 45. And all I kept hearing was negative stuff about aging. Bumped into a friend the same week who is what? Probably about 50 now, and again like the whole conversation was oh well, you know, we're getting old now, zoe, it's just what happens, and I just wanted to shake him. If that's how we feel at this age, what are we going to be like at 50, 60 or beyond? No, thank you. So my advice is to start challenging more of these ideas. I've said it before and I'll say it again it's a rebellion, because we know that our lives are worth fighting for. When you feel that passionately about making something of your life, you will move heaven and earth to get there.

Speaker 1: 26:47

Number eight practice mindfulness. So techniques to stay present and fully engage in your life can really help when you feel stuck. Mindfulness can reduce stress and increase satisfaction because it actually forces you to acknowledge where you're at and view it from a perspective of gratitude. Aha, here we go, the old grateful gratitude chat. I know it's a bit repetitive, isn't it? But trust me, the shit works.

Speaker 1: 27:19

I once worked as a waitress in an Italian restaurant and I hated it and I was miserable. I mean, I would get home in the evenings and I'd be crying most nights when I finished my shift. I had given myself six months to figure out a way to leave. It was like this is the end of my life. I was so relieved. It was like this is only temporary, I only have to live for six months and after that I'm sure I'll figure things out. By then I was deeply disheartened, to say the least. When, at the six month mark, I was still there, I was job hunting in between shifts, sprucing at my CV as best I could. I was scouring LinkedIn but getting nowhere.

Speaker 1: 28:04

Then somehow I heard about this thing called I think it was called 100 happy days, 100 happy days, and it was this challenge that seemed to be going viral on social media, and the idea was to use Instagram or Facebook to record something each day that made you happy, using the hashtag 100 happy days. And I think this was actually my first real brush with gratitude as a concept. So I decided that I would try it because, dammit, I definitely needed to feel happy again, and I set about posting one photo each day of something that made me feel good. I had no idea at the time, but I literally was cultivating a great gratitude mindset by looking for the little things that I could appreciate. Within two months, I was feeling more positive, despite the work situation, because that hadn't changed and it was still shit. And, within no-transcript, somehow I landed a new job back in the footwear industry, where Red Wings been bingo.

Speaker 1: 29:22

So please don't think that if you're not journaling 10 things you're grateful for every single night that you're failing at life. But also, please do see how taking just one photo a day could lift your mood enough to inspire a little bit more action, and you just don't know where that action will then lead. Number nine seek out the supportive and like minded individuals that can help you basically find your tribe. The people you surround yourself are such a key part of your well being and subsequent success, I think, so finding a community that shares your rebellious spirit could be really inspiring. I've made no secret of the fact that I'd like to create one right here, right now, for us. That's you, me and a bunch of other badass humans who want life to be more than just taxes and groundhog day. It will happen, probably. I'm just overthinking this, but in the meantime, if you are looking for other people like you, just, I mean, just engage on my Instagram post. I guarantee it's a great place to start, because you will find each other. So then, when I do finally figure out the how building our community properly, you'll already know each other anyway, which is a winner. Seriously, though, take a good hard look at the five people you spend the most time with. Do they think like you? Are they striving for more growth? Do they allow themselves and you to dream big without being judgmental, or do they tear your ideas apart before you've even begun? You are the sum of those few people that you spend the most time with, so choose them carefully, which brings us to number 10, the last point.

Speaker 1: 31:23

Celebrate small victories. This is your reminder to acknowledge and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small. Why? Because this will build your confidence and your momentum. My small victories during the darker years look like me just trying to do one self development thing each day. That's it. I would track these things every day in my journal so I could physically see that, even though I felt stuck, even when I was at home with a tiny baby, feeling as though my whole career was now over, I knew that I was still doing positive stuff that would serve me and keep the momentum going. Some days it was listening to a podcast. Other days it was watching something inspiring on YouTube, reading a few pages of a book that would help me grow.

Speaker 1: 32:21

Sometimes, my personal development journey looked like knowing I had to rest or getting out for a run, both of which are great when you feel overwhelmed or tired or stuck. Actually, one of the best ideas that ever came to me out on a run was the name for my leather brand mischief and hide. So you just never know, aside from celebrating your small victories, maybe you just need to take up running to not feel stuck. Anyway, here's a quick recap of those 10 points before I leave you. Number one own it. Take responsibility for your stookness. Number two define your values. Number three set bold goals. Number four embrace change. Number five cultivate creativity. Number six seek out new experiences. Number seven connect with your inner rebel. Number eight practice mindfulness. Number nine find your tribe. And number ten celebrate those small victories. If you try any of these things, please let me know how you get on and if you still feel stuck, like, just drop me a DM and we can talk through it together. I'm always rooting for your success and willing you to do more of the things that light you up so you can break free from the daily grind and design a life you don't want to escape from.

Speaker 1: 33:57

So I'll be back next week with my first guest of season three. So if you'd like to know more about her and my subsequent guests, don't forget to sign up to the Mischief Mail newsletter, where you'll find out before anyone else. For now, thank you so much for being with me. I hope you've enjoyed this episode and are looking forward to the guests I've got coming up. Stay well, my friend, and always make more Mischief.

Speaker 1: 34:31

I hope you loved today's episode and it made you think differently or perhaps nudged you into changing something in your life that's not working for you. I'd love to give you a shout out right here on the podcast too, so let me know what you think, what you'd like to hear more of, or how you've been inspired by what you've heard. Let's keep in touch over on Instagram at mischiefandhide, or sign up to my newsletter at soegreenhalfcom. If you're enjoying being part of the Mischief movement, please consider telling a friend or leaving me a review wherever you download your episodes, which will seriously help my mission to inspire and empower more people like us to choose Mischief over mediocre. Ciao,