Escaping the Ordinary: The Honest Biker's Journey Towards Self-Discovery, Freedom and Empowerment

Greetings Mischief Makers! Get ready for an exhilarating ride as we journey alongside AJ - @thehonestbiker, who rediscovers herself while throttling full speed towards freedom. Picture this - a toxic relationship, a soul-sucking job, and a destructive home life. When it all got to be too much, AJ made a bold, life-altering decision, she ditched her old life, bought a one-way ticket to an unknown future, and started embracing her true self. Her tale is one of resilience, self-love, and the ultimate joy in designing a life on her own terms.

Let's navigate through AJ's transformative experiences as she simplifies her life and ventures into the world of travel. From navigating a new country to finding camaraderie among travellers in a hostel in Woollamaloo, Australia,  AJ unravels amusing tales from her adventure. Her journey underscores the beauty of being true to yourself and the importance of standing up for yourself. She also introduces us to her newfound appreciation for foreign films, music, and bike riding, proving that exploration doesn't have to stop with travel.

Lastly, we plunge into AJ's voyage of embracing personal growth. Brace yourself as AJ shares her anecdotes from learning new skills, taking risks, and the impact of a supportive network. From crashing her instructor's bike to speaking on the panel at the Women in Motorcycling Exhibition, AJ's experience is a testament to resilience and rising above fear. She also opens up about becoming a qualified Mental Health First Aider with Mental Health Motorbike (MHM) so, buckle up and join us on this inspiring odyssey into the power of self-discovery and positive thinking with the honest biker herself, AJ!

Transcript

AJ: 0:00

you know, I get that people can turn around and say you're running away from your problems. But if you eradicate the problems, you're not running away from anything. You're actually running towards something which is discovering who I was.

Zoe: 0:09

Have you ever reached a point in your life when it all just got too much? My guest today experienced exactly that, when she found herself in a toxic relationship, a soul-sucking job and a destructive home life. So what did she do? She bought herself a one-way ticket to the other side of the world and set off to discover who she was, really, away from the people and places she felt had been pulling her down. In giving herself time and distance, aj, also known as the honest biker, built herself back up, found a resilience she didn't know she had, and learned to lean into the things she loved the most travel, motorcycling and helping others. It's a story of self-love and a lesson in designing a life on your terms. Oh, and one other thing there are a few sneaky F-bombs and swear words in this one, so you might want to put your headphones on around the kids. Okay, let's go.

Zoe: 1:09

Hello, it's Zoe and welcome, or welcome, back to the Mischief Movement podcast, your weekly inspo for people looking for more hell-year in their life. Consider this your one way ticket out of midlife mediocracy towards fun and positive impact via playful disruption. Wouldn't you love to wake up and feel like a total badass? How about breaking some rules, throwing two fingers up to society and doing more of the things you love. I'm talking full on freedom, adventure and those meaningful connections I know you've been craving. Stop waiting for your amazing life to happen and go get it.

Zoe: 1:46

I'll be picking the brains of some true game changers and Mischief Makers so I can share what I find and hopefully inspire you to shake things up, do more of what makes you feel alive and boldly rebel against the ordinary. I've no idea what I'm doing, to be honest, but I've got a mission and I'm here to start a movement. It's going to be quite the adventure. Care to join me? Okay, here goes. Oh well, I'm so glad that we were able to do this and actually jump on a call again. Me too, I'm really, really happy to welcome AJ, aka the honest biker. Back to the podcast.

AJ: 2:29

Hey guys, I have to remember I'm being recorded and it's like you know, I can't just wave, I have to like manually say hello, yeah how are you doing?

AJ: 2:39

Yeah, really good, really good. Literally just before we came on, I was explaining that I've just been non-stop. As a few people would know me, I'm quite into biking, so I've been heavily involved with that the past few weeks, with a few more bits coming up, so it's all go, go, go. As soon as the sun comes out, everyone packs up and they're off on their two wheels. And yeah, been really good things.

Zoe: 3:01

So are you always start by asking people what their kind of, what their mischief is? I mean, you go by the name of the honest biker. So I'm guessing, most of your mischief is on two wheels.

AJ: 3:12

It is. It's kind of funny really, when people turn around and they ask me about my username, I say, well, to be fair, the username is kind of like a self disclaimer or it's like a waiver, because, you know, I'm one of those people. Now, I never was, believe it or not. If you'd seen me about what eight years ago there's no way, no way, you know I would believe I'd be in this position that I'm in right now. I'm just a completely different person. So the honest biker just came about after a lot of I can't swear on this, can I?

Zoe: 3:44

You absolutely can.

AJ: 3:46

Oh, thank god for that good, because we're going to get a lot of that right. So, yeah, it was literally after a lot of shitting my life, you know. So I just kind of had my fuck it moment and I was like, no, that's it. I'm putting me first, I'm going on a me-s pree and I'm going to be selfish for once. So, yeah, that's kind of where it came of it and it really came into play the past two years. So, yeah, it's um, yeah, it's a username and a waiver, but we'll get into that in a minute

Zoe: 4:20

when? When did it happen? And, and and what came ?

AJ: 4:24

So I, my entire life I had been in just absolute bullshit relationships family, friends, work. It's horrible, you know, um, and I just remember I was at work and I remember it so vividly. I've got a photographic memory so, for close my eyes, I can see the exact position that I was in. I was at my desk and I just had a bit of a disagreement with management over something and I was just being scapegoated for so much shit, you know, and I thought we've got to be more to life than this. So this, this is, this is this, is not right, you know, and you know, I, I, I was already gone through like a kind of stage of depression as well, um, undiagnosed, but it's kind of clear that's where I was at.

AJ: 5:06

Having, you know, a little bit more experience now as I've got an older, I can recognise that I was in a very bad place, um, and I just, you know, I didn't want to be around anymore, um, about five years prior to this, you know, I managed to get through that and then I kind of just skipped forward to this little position here and it was happening again. It was a cycle and I think a lot of people can kind of recognise that and realise that, yeah, you know, you have those cycles where everything's good and then things get a little bit shit, and then things get really shit and you're like no, you kind of convince yourself oh, it was okay, if I just stick it out for an extra x, y, zed amount of time, it'll, it'll be fine. But it never is. It always goes back around in circles. So, anyway, this was another circle and I was sat there and I thought to myself do you know what? There is a whole world out there and I have got no ties at this point in my life. So it's even now or it's never.

AJ: 5:56

I thought to myself where is the furthest place on this planet? But I can go away from everyone, that I can just be like, set up a base and make a decision as to where I'm going to go when I get there. And I looked up and it's like oh, Australia, I'm going to go there. And I was looking online and I thought, how can I do this? I'm googling away and I thought to myself there must be a visa or something I can get. You know, looks online and at the point in time doesn't exist. Now I don't think it's called a four, five, seven workers visa. It allows you to live in the country for a year and then you do another three months like agricultural work and you can live there for another year.

AJ: 6:32

If you, if you plan, if that's what you want to do for brilliant, that's it. I'm going to do that. And I remember putting it out to the universe. I turned around and I said right, universe, if this is meant to happen, please, the love of god, send me a sign because I'm going to go for it. And I thought to myself that's brilliant. If this, if this gets approved, absolutely fine. And I made a promise and I said if you approve this, I will quit my job, I will hand in my notice today, walking out, not go back, because I've had enough, and I'll just, you know, I'll do everything else that follows what was the catalyst?

Zoe: 7:04

was it the job? Was it a particularly bad thing?

AJ: 7:08

It was everything. It was like I was. You know, when I was at home, I was being told that I was on a downward spiral. I was being told I'd never amount to anything. I had a partner that didn't, like you know, weren't supportive. Yeah, it was just that final point. At work, I was brought up to believe that you need to go to work, get a job for life, settle down, have kids. You know, 2.4 kids, golden retrieval, white picket fence, all of this you know that society tells you is the norm. I don't want to live someone else's normal, I want to live my normal, you know, I don't want to live.

AJ: 7:39

Did you know what that was?

Zoe: 7:40

then did you have any idea what your normal look like?

AJ: 7:43

no, I didn't know who I was. That's the thing. I had no idea who I was. I had no sense of identity, I had a rough idea. You know, I kind of found myself a little bit whilst I was at college, what I was into, things that made me tick and that kind of set that little, that little spark inside of me, you know what kind of things were they?

AJ: 8:05

So I have things that were just totally different. You know how people always turn around and say that they're different. They're the black sheep of the family. That's me. I'm definitely the black sheep of the family in a good way. So I love like all my alternative music. I love culture, I love exploring. I'm not a homeboy. I cannot live and die in the same town. Some people can, that's fine, that's not a problem. If that's your norm, that is not a problem. But for me that wasn't my norm and it was being pushed. It was just being forced upon me that I wasn't normal. People are never gonna like me, no one's.

AJ: 8:35

Oh, this was another thing because I didn't know what I wanted to do when I left college. I did a lot of contracting work and I first went into TV, which is all contract work. So anyway, my parent at the time was like you're never gonna get another job. Nobody's gonna want a contract. You know, no one's gonna want to hire you because you've had so many jobs and no matter how I try to explain it to them, they were very set in the mindset of that 2.4 children, wide picket fence, get a job at a bank, that's it for life. You say that's it done, have no aspirations, whatever. So, yeah, it was like I'm not that person, I can't I don't want to say can't conform because I can't want to need to, but it was. There's more to life, this you cannot tell me that there is a whole world out there and that we are meant to live and die in a nine to five. So you said that the universe.

Zoe: 9:18

You asked the universe for a sign. Did you get one?

AJ: 9:21

Yeah, they instantly approved my visa in 10 minutes and that visa takes me up to two to three weeks to be approved, normally, right. And I looked and I remember hearing the little bidding and I thought, no way, that's got to be spam or something like that. And I looked in my inbox and I swear to God, you know, when you get that hot, cold flush I thought, oh my god, it's really happening, is really happening. And my little bottom lip was like, because I was just ready to go. You know, I was like, right, that's it. And I grabbed my laptop. I remember I was shaking, physically shaking.

AJ: 9:52

I'm trying to hide my excitement from at the time, my manager, who was like sitting across the desk from me, my manager turn around and said, oh, you know, don't, don't be too rash, blah, blah, blah. And I thought I was already. You know, I was already zoning out. There was like I'm thinking, right, beaches, where can I go? What can I do? How can you know I'm off, I'm already here, I'm on the plane. See you later, mate.

AJ: 10:14

So what happened next? I went home and I was, you know, full of beans. Fuck, this is it. It's so exciting, like you know, how long have I got. So I made sure that I looked as soon as I had my visa and I thought to myself right, I need a game plan. And within about an hour I planned out as much as I could do for like the next 10 months. So I thought to myself right, I've just quit my job, I need to get money, so how can I do? That went online and I was like right, let's see if I can get a flight, that's in, say, six to eight months time. That gives me time to sew everything my own, to get all of my inoculations, because you have to have inoculations before you go away. I'll try Australia and traveling.

Zoe: 10:52

I was okay, so at the beginning it sounds like you literally just chucked in your job and went. But you actually did make a plan and it was all kind of well thought out.

AJ: 11:02

You got the visa really yeah, but the rest, yeah, yeah now.

Zoe: 11:05

I've got to sell my stuff. Yep, then what we're gonna do.

AJ: 11:07

Yeah, so that was it. I went home and I literally thought what do I need? And I just thought to myself I need money, I need inoculations. I looked into it properly. You know, insurance oh my god, please, if you can't afford insurance, you cannot afford to travel. I always told everyone that. So I decided to Sell everything. So I sold my car, I sold all of the clothes. I didn't need anything else. So I really wanted that I couldn't take with me. I left at my parents place, you know. But everything else that I realized that I actually didn't need, you don't realize, like, how much stuff you don't need, you know, until you have to get rid of it, did it?

AJ: 11:43

actually feel quite cathartic to sell that stuff and be like um, you know, absolutely, because even even now, um, you know, obviously I'm back now and I'm settled and whatnot, but even now the thought of moving house just strikes the fear of God into me because I've got so much shit.

Zoe: 12:02

We do. They were just accumulate stuff, don't yeah?

AJ: 12:05

But is it is as you say. It's so cathartic to be able to just get rid of everything and live quite a simplistic lifestyle, you know, and also one that doesn't have a lot of ties, but I know, as I'm saying this, everyone can kind of be listening. Oh yeah, you know it's easy for you. You've got no kids, you're not marriage, you're not this. You know that and I say, yeah, I get that. But the thing is, this was my Plan and what worked for me. So it is possible, but you have to do things that work for you.

AJ: 12:32

Don't take this as the no, I'm gonna say like setting stone rule of how to do this. This is what worked for me at the time, so that's okay. We don't do rules on this show, but you know what I mean. Like I don't want people to be like, oh, it was easy for her, she didn't have this mate, I had so much baggage that I had to get rid of before I left. It was ridiculous. Yeah, you can, you can do it, even if it's for a little bit of time. Everyone deserves to go and have that me spree moment and I think if you don't, you don't truly find out about Yourself and what makes your brain tick. Do you know what I mean? If you never have that opportunity to just be away, even if it's for a weekend, like go somewhere that no one speaks English and you're on your own, you've got a backpack and a map and you're fine, you know? Because, don't be stupid, everyone needs to get in contact.

Zoe: 13:25

That's gonna be really scary to some people though.

AJ: 13:28

I was terrified. I was going to a country where I the only reason I went to Australia is because they speak English. So I knew that at least if I was a million miles away from home or my classes, home, my home country or whatever, I knew that I would be alright because I could ask for help because they were native English speakers that lived there. What about the people who?

Zoe: 13:49

They listen to you talk and say yeah, but you just running away from your problems.

AJ: 13:54

Oh yeah, don't get me wrong, that's exactly kind of what I was doing, if I'm honest, but at the same time, it was something that I always wanted to do, so it was kind of killing two birds with one stone. It's like if one says I was you know, I get that people can turn around and say you're running away from your problems. But if you eradicate the problems, you're not running away from anything. You're actually running towards something which is discovering who I was, you know, and that I'm so happy that I did it, because I am such a different person. Before I went away, I was very kind of yes, sir, yes, sir. Three bags, four sir, yes, but that's because of how I was brought up and by doing what I did, by going away, I was alone. I had my own rules, as in, I had to not defend for myself, but I had to learn how to Was how I'm trying to say this. I had to learn how to manage myself.

Zoe: 14:43

You've got to stick up for yourself. I mean go back yourself and trust yourself.

AJ: 14:46

Oh god, absolutely, and that's it as well you have to trust yourself and there was this whole kind of self-love thing that came about because, if I'm honest, I wasn't really too happy with the person that I was, but that was because I wasn't being true to myself, and by doing what I did, I eradicate those problems and it just put everything into perspective.

Zoe: 15:04

So what happened when you got there? What happened when you got to?

AJ: 15:07

Australia. I got to Australia and I booked a little hostel for about a week in a place called Woollamaloo, which is a real place. It's just like Kings Cross in Sydney and it was called I think it's called, like the star Hostel, the red star lucky star hostel or something like that. Anyway, it was a workers hostel and when I got there it was for people that were working and living in Australia but couldn't afford to rent. So they stayed in the hostel for, like I think it was like a maximum of a month and then you had to kind of move out and go somewhere else and, you know, rotate round or whatever.

AJ: 15:40

But when I got there, I Remember I just had this big smile on my face. I was like, you know, kind of like the in-betweeners when they step off the plane with their little backpack. I was like, oh look, I'm going exploring. You know, I had no idea what I was doing. I went about there. I just remember I met loads of people in the hostel and they're all just everyone was in the same boat, everyone was so friendly. Everyone was like, hey, hi.

Zoe: 16:06

It's really interesting, but like in the same boat as in, they're all out for an adventure. Or in the same boat as in. There were a lot of people, maybe from the uk or the States or the places in the world, that were like I need to take this moment to find myself. Were there? A lot of people there doing the same thing.

AJ: 16:23

Yeah, there were people out there that just wanted to go out traveling as you do. There were people out there that were kind of like in the same boat as me, but we were in the minority. It was very much more so People that were on gap years. That's interesting. Why do you think that is? It's a coming of age thing, so it's kind of like a thing where they say that they're now classed as adults, so they have to go out into the real world and fend for themselves and they learn about themselves. I think that's so important. God, stuff like this should be compulsory.

AJ: 16:49

Yeah, it's yeah, and it's so important because I actually think that as a country Out like I know I was we're quite sheltered. Before we go into the adult world we don't get that opportunity to take time out and come to terms with everything that we've gone through, think of it. You're going through you've gone through puberty, you're going through adolescence, you're going through being out of school, like a school environment where you can kind of get away with a lot of stuff Right, and then you're being thrown into the adult world where you actually have to make a decision Do you want to go out and do you want to get an education and go into a certain line of work, or do you want to go straight into a job? You don't get time to think. It's literally you get what? Four, five months and then that's it. That's the rest of your life.

AJ: 17:29

So that's why they kind of Push for their kids to go and learn about themselves, go out into the world anywhere in the world for a year and then come back and then you can make a decision and you have that experience and that flavor Of what it's like to live outside of your bubble, you know. So, yeah, I, you know it was that kind of thing and I learned that from going there and talking to people and it really opened up my eyes, like how we as a culture Don't embrace things like that as much and it's a shame, because we should.

AJ: 18:00

I know so many people that have never really been out of their own country. It's just that I feel that people Need to experience something different. That really pushes me out of their comfort zone, because you learn about yourself by doing that. It's a bit uncomfortable, I'm not gonna lie. It's uncomfortable for some people that you're either gonna relish it or an embrace it or you're gonna kind of cry all the way through it, but at the end you'll think, god, I'm so glad I did that, you know, and it's just. Yeah, it was just one of those and so, yeah, anyway, when I got to Australia, that was it. That was the situation I was in.

AJ: 18:35

I was thrown into this Whole conversational mix with people from all over the world, all different ages. There was one woman there who was amazing. She was 76 years old and she was it just fully embraced in with the whole crowd that was in this hostel and I remember everyone. Just, I think her name was Mama Meg. They nicknamed her Mama Meg because she was like the mom of the group, obviously, you know, as you do, and she was just there for a good time. I think she just recently lost her husband and it was her fucking moment. She was like I've put everyone first. I've lost. You know, I've lost my partner. I I always put my family first my grandchildren, my children, etc. Etc. This is my time. She went and I want to do it before I kick the bucket. I remember her telling me that she's like, I want to do it before I kick the bucket. This is it. This is my opportunity. I've never done anything like this before and this is it.

Zoe: 19:24

This story's giving me goosebumps.

AJ: 19:32

Yeah, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. I was finally there and I was like I was living my dream. You know, it was something I'd always had a wonderlust for, but always have always have had a wonderlust for that side of the world. And I was there and I was doing it and I couldn't believe it and I was so proud of myself. You know, after being told like it's kind of like that thing about Chinese water torture, it's like if you keep telling someone something, eventually they're gonna think it's true. So someone keeps telling you your shit, someone keeps telling you you're not gonna amount to anything, it's on keeps telling you your disappointment, you're a this or that. You start believing it. And that's kind of the reason why I had to go, because I needed to break out that bubble, because, unfortunately for me, all of that was coming from home.

Zoe: 20:11

I think that also. That can also come from from yourself as well, from, oh yeah, when you've got that negative in a critic, mm-hmm saying kind of it's the same kind of thing when you constantly listening to your own in a critic going you can't do this, you're not good enough.

AJ: 20:25

Who do you think you are exactly, absolutely, and you need to tell yourself to shut up sometimes. Yeah, you know. So I was out in Australia for like a year and a half and then I went around Australia, like all of the islands and everything, like all my own, like I didn't plan any of it. The thing is as well, when you travel and this is a lot of things that people might not like is that you don't necessarily have a plan. You just have to go with the flow and you have to trust in yourself that you're doing the right thing, you know.

AJ: 20:55

And how did he find that? Oh, it was just, you just can't. If I could bottle up that essence of doing and sell it, I would be a billionaire, because it was just that essence of Wow, I can do this, I'm so proud of myself. This is amazing. And it was that gut feeling and listening to that little inner voice that's like you can, you can do this, it's alright, it's gonna be alright, just just go with it, you're gonna be fine. And if it's not, we can cross that bridge when we get there. And that's what I did, instead of that little voice of doubt Saying oh, you know, like you just said, it gets quieter the more you do things out of your comfort zone, because that voice Outside the comfort zone gets louder.

Zoe: 21:43

Yeah.

AJ: 21:44

Yeah, how can I describe it? It was just making me smile from the inside out, instead of it being like this facade, yeah, where you pretend that everything's alright, as I'm sure we all do. We all do it at some point. Had you been doing that before you left, do you think? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely I was. I was really not in a good place at all, mentally, emotionally, because I, like I said, I put everyone else first. I'd always taken the flak for everything to be like oh yeah, maybe I am, maybe I am stupid, maybe I don't really deserve that or whatever. You know, maybe I did deserve whatever else came to me, and I know that. No, my life cannot revolve around a certain amount of people's Opinions on me.

Zoe: 22:28

There's so much to be said by about the people that you surround yourself with. I mean, it just makes such a difference, doesn't it?

AJ: 22:35

you are the company you keep, and I mean, it took me a while, yeah, exactly, but I have now found my people, if that makes sense. It.

Zoe: 22:50

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AJ: 24:06

I got back and I met with at the time my one of my really good friends and they picked me up from the airport when I went back home and I kind of had a game plan which was this is only temporary, this is fine, this will pass. It's not what I want, it's not where I want to be. And I just got a game plan together of what I wanted to do, where I wanted to go and where I wanted to be, kind of like a I don't know, like a maybe say like two or three month plan, and I think within the month I'd moved out and that was it. From there I just kind of rented a few places and just made sure that I kept my distance. You know, it's self-preservation kind of thing. I suppose we could say I'm just making sure that I looked after me and I put myself forward. So, from traveling and going and doing that in Australia and Australasia and all of that, it really Made me realize it was like a switch.

AJ: 25:00

And I remember I think I said this a while back when we first spoke before we did this podcast that I was on a beach in Gilly air in the Indonesian isles, and I just remember being on this page. I had no ties, I had no responsibilities, I didn't even think I had that much money in my back pocket. But it matters, because I just had this epiphany moment of this is true happiness, this is happiness. I just had this wave of Almost like. It must have been like endorphins or dopamine or something and I just remember sitting there thinking this is true Happiness, putting myself first, being a little bit selfish, which is fine, we need to be every now and then. Just because you put yourself first sometimes doesn't mean you're a complete C U Next Tuesday. It means you're looking after yourself because you need to do that.

AJ: 25:54

You know that whole saying when people turn around and say about how money can't buy you happiness. I don't think that that's true. I think money can buy you happiness, but it's temporary. It's not true happiness. True happiness lasts, with or without money, you know, and that's what I learned whilst I was out there.

AJ: 26:10

And also I learned that it was okay to say no, it's okay to outgrow people. That's fine. It's part of being a human, you know it's. People will come in and out of your life as and when certain situations call for it and if they don't necessarily continue on with you through your journey, it's fine. So, yeah, I just learn a lot, a lot. Just don't be a scapegoat, don't be a dog's body, don't be a walkover. It's okay to say no and it's okay to have difference in opinion. So, you know, there was a lot of things that I learned about myself and just that. Yeah, it just put everything in perspective and I just realized that it was okay to do things that I wanted to do and Not necessarily what everyone else wanted to do.

Zoe: 26:57

It does take courage, though, because especially when you're surrounded by people telling you one thing and you're, they're going. I'm not down with that. It definitely takes courage, but what Interests me is the fact that you know it actually turned into a Very healthy kind of journey into loving yourself at the end of the day oh yeah, what else did you learn while you were there or what else did you Discover that you really enjoy or that you were good at that you kind of then brought back with you?

AJ: 27:26

Yeah absolutely yeah. So it was definitely a catalyst of learning to put myself first and look after myself first. It's that whole kind of cliche thing of you know, if you can't love yourself, who's gonna love your kind of thing? You know, and it's so true, it's so true, if you don't love yourself, you're just gonna attract, you're gonna, you're gonna try and fill a void. And this is what I keep telling people is that people that get into relationships to fill a void, to stop feeling lonely, haven't gone out and discovered what makes them tick, which is why they can't, when they're on their own, fill that void and comfort themselves.

AJ: 28:00

So for me, my comfort is maybe Look, it just sounds like every day. They just have to be anything huge. It can be like very mundane every day things, and mine is like listening to certain types of music that I've discovered whilst I was traveling, or Certain types of films that I'll sit down and I'll just completely veg out, and that's like my little comfort. You know, for me I absolutely adore foreign film. So, and especially Animated films. So Jaime Zaki, studio Jhibi stuff, all of the you know, the animated stuff is just I just have such an Appreciation for the artwork that's in that film. So that's my little comfort.

AJ: 28:37

I've learned that even now, recently, with everything that's been gearing up, with all of my biking things, it's exploded and I don't know how. I'm very grateful for it, but I just don't know what's happened and I do have a little bit of imposter syndrome. So I do have to every now and then turn around to people like I've done it today actually just say look, guys, I really appreciate Us getting a lot of things in the calendar, but I do have to push back and just have my R&R. I just like having a weekend of doing those little comfort things and I love my own company. Like I absolutely love my own company. I get annoyed when we're around people too much. I have to have my shut out and I'm like that's fine. Now I don't have to feel those voids anymore because I don't feel quote, lonely, unquote. You know, and I think until you get to that point, you're always going to be filling that board. You're never going to have that happiness of being Alone and being happy with yourself as a person. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely.

Zoe: 29:33

But I was just thinking actually that we haven't even really touched on the biking stuff. Did you get into biking while you were in Australia?

AJ: 29:40

No, I got into biking when Just before I went away, okay, and then, when I was out there, I got into biking when I was actually traveling around Vietnam, which is my heart, my heart country, vietnam if you haven't been, please go, but honestly, it was. Um, we rented a cheap little little headlight, you know, a little scooter or whatever, and we literally rode from the bottom to the top, like right up to the north Vietnam, and Just, oh man, the people, the further out you went, the friendlier they were, and these people had Nothing, you know, and they would give you the shirt off their back to a stranger if it meant helping, you know. And yeah, I just fell in love with biking, just having that freedom, like being on the road, not having a kind of An idea of where I was gonna go. It was literally wake up and go talk to a few people in the hostel. Maybe they were going off and going to, I don't know, the monkey forest or something like that, or they were going to some random beach 25 kilometers away and they're like, oh, do you want to come? It's like, yeah, sure, awesome, and just pack your backpack up and off you went. I thought, do you know what I really want to bring this home. I want this to be a skill that I can do when I'm at home. So as soon as I went home that was it I literally booked my CBT and I went out and I tried to get all of my lessons. I went on to do my Das, and so Das is direct access, which is like a quick way of getting your full license Went and did that and I just absolutely fell in love with the whole scene, just the camaraderie, the people and just the history behind it, and it kind of Again proved to me that I can do it and be maybe like necessarily be a little bit different, but you know, just be more Independent so I can go and do whatever and people go.

AJ: 31:33

Oh, but you can do that in a car. I'm like it's not the same, it's really not. When you're on that bike and you can just weave between the traffic, you know you are mate. There's no better feeling than just weaving through a 25 mile traffic jam. It's the best. I can't say it's not.

Zoe: 31:48

Jenny from Ride Like a Girl and I had her on whether she was scared when she was learning, because we both had experiences where we were really nervous learning. Was it the same for you?

AJ: 32:02

I swear to God if my, if my bike score listening to this podcast. They can probably still see the dense in the tank from where I was gripping so hard because I was absolutely terrified I was. I was so shit. I can't even explain to you how bad I was when I first started, honestly.

Zoe: 32:22

But that's really gonna help someone, you know, because even off the back of the last the episode with Jenny, I know at least one person who felt inspired to go and book a session with with Vee, yeah, and then she went on to book a CBT just off the back of that conversation. So I Know there'll be people listening today, going. Actually, she was terrified and they were both terrified and they still did it. So can I.

AJ: 32:50

Hey, I crashed. I crashed my instructor's bike, so don't worry if I've gone from that to doing I'm actually going to be talking on the women in motorbike panel Coming up this month for the end of August.

Zoe: 33:02

Yeah.

AJ: 33:02

So I've gone from crashing my bike into my instructor's car to talking on the panel at the women in motorbike and exhibition this year. Um, if I can do it, you can do it, believe me. Yeah, absolutely Honestly, it's all it takes as well. Sometimes it's just to hear someone else's story and be like, uh, yeah, but I bet they're just saying that to make people. I'm not. I promise you, I'm not going to have a look on my Instagram because I tell you what my journey. When people ask me how long have I been riding? I've been riding now. Now, now know, two and a half three years, like not long at all, and people are like no way, I can't believe it. Like I really thought you've been riding for you for like years. You're so confident. I was like well, it just all comes about because I decided to do it. Basically, and it's the people as well. Like we said, we go back to surrounding yourself with the right people and they boost them around and they'll you know, they'll cheer you on and they'll be cheerleaders.

Zoe: 33:56

You know you just got go out and find the people and they'll be there for you, you know, yeah and tell me a little bit about the fact that you then went on to do the mental health first data course.

AJ: 34:09

So I'd already done it from a Work perspective Sorry, I'm just putting my elbow back in my socket, we'll get on to that in a minute. Yeah, so I had decided that I wanted to do it from a motorbike and perspective, because it's really important that we talk about mental health, especially with men, because in the bike industry it's kind of like that bravado that still exists that men shouldn't be able to talk about their emotions, and it's a stigma that we need to really really try and break down. I know a few people unfortunately, who are no longer here who, as a result of not being able to talk, you know. So it's something that we need to break down the stereotypes with. So for me, I discovered the mental health motorbike guys and Paul Oxford, who's the founder of the company, now as a charity. They're now fully registered and fully charity registered and everything, which is great, and it was within their first Lot of enrollment. They turned around and said we're looking for people to be Points of contact for mental health first aid, kind of like a crisis worker, if that makes sense. Um, yeah, but focus in heavily around Motorbiking and how we can break down those stereotypes.

AJ: 35:27

So I did the course and I did it with about 30 Others maybe or 15, I can't remember exactly, but the numbers have grown considerably and it's something that I was really passionate about, and especially combining the two the mental health, the help in, and the motorbikes and it just for me was just something that made sense, you know.

AJ: 35:48

So I got into that and now I am a Qualified first-aid, a point of contact, reference person in the motorbike world. So, yeah, that's what I ended up doing and I do that as a win. I've got a little sticker it's on my, it's on my wins win screen windshield. On the front it's a little green shield, it looks like and it just says first-aid, a mental health motorbike. So if anyone sees any of those, it means that that person on that bike we're here to help, we're here to listen, without judgment. It's just it's almost like talking to a wall that will listen and talk back if you want them to and whatever you say stays In those, you know with that person. It won't get shared or anything like that. So yeah, I just thought I'd talk a little bit about that because it's very important.

Zoe: 36:34

Yeah, absolutely. And I suppose the last thing I really want to ask you is Do you think a lot of the decisions that you've made, I think, over the last few years, have resulted from that moment of just saying fuck it, I'm going?

AJ: 36:52

Yeah, if no one can see me I'm, I'm nodding my head into, it's gonna fall off as well from my spine. Honestly, absolutely, absolutely it. It taught me so much about myself and what I could do and what I was capable of. You know, and I, I get it because everyone's gonna turn and go all. As I said earlier, oh, it's easy for her. She just go off and do it right. Do something that works for you, that pushes you out of your comfort zone to learn about yourself. That's, it doesn't matter.

Zoe: 37:25

I think that's a really good point. Actually, we're not sat here saying everybody should book a one-way ticket to Australia, because people do have families and responsibilities and commitments. But, like you said, it's about doing that thing for you that pushes you out your comfort zone, and it could be a year or it could be a day, it could be a daily thing, it could be taking five minutes.

AJ: 37:45

You've decided now and you've got to put your foot down. The thing is, you've got to be firm about it. You've got to follow through with it, because if you don't, you kind of end up going back into that circle I was talking about earlier. You know it's like okay, I'll do it for like a week and then oh well, yeah, but this happened and then that happened. No excuses, put yourself first, because if you don't and you don't set that boundary and that routine, people then start taking the piss again and then it stops to exist and then you end up back in that circle of oh, I wish I'd done that, and I wish so, if it means taking five minutes out of the day to be like no, this is my time, this is what I want to do, and if that's, you know, spending time on a hobby, or some people might want to get into crocheting.

AJ: 38:25

You want to do that, that's fine, go and spend five minutes a day crocheting. If you can do that, can't do it. Five minutes safe, do five minutes every other day. It's whatever works for your situation that gets you into that pattern and that routine of putting yourself first every now and then it's not. It's not a problem to turn around and say I Want to have that me spree, I want to be a little bit selfish, because that's then when you start learning about your boundaries and what makes you tick and attracting everything in that starts to make your life a little bit more Enriched and a little bit more fulfilled. And that's the thing that's the key word we're going for here people. We're not talking about feeling avoid. We're talking about people that enrich your life, not fill. Avoid they enrich. And it doesn't matter whether or not they come or go, because the main point is that you're happy with that little bit of you, that little you person, and until you get to that point, it's always gonna go full circle.

AJ: 39:18

So yeah look after yourself, you know.

Zoe: 39:21

So what does the future look like for the honest biker? Fuck knows no.

AJ: 39:26

I.

Zoe: 39:30

Have, I'm going with the flow.

AJ: 39:31

People. I've got no idea what's gonna happen in the future and, to be fair, it is what it is. I am one of the people that is is what is, and that's the thing as well. Like, I have this little motto that everyone kind of thinks is a bit stupid, but it's something that I go by, which is no expectations, no disappointments. You know, do what works for you, be your own happiness. You know, and if you you feel that you're struggling, reach out and talk to people. There's no shame in it, it's absolutely fine.

AJ: 40:00

Like and I'm gonna touch on this really lightly when I tell me I said about putting my elbow back into its socket when I was away, I realized because I put myself first, I started to notice things about my body that I've been told my entire life all in my head that weren't right. And as soon as I Came back, I put myself into a Referral and I found out that I've got EDS, which is Ellis Danlos syndrome. Say that again slowly. What is it? So it's Ellis Danlos syndrome, eds, yeah, and it's 14 or 15 different variants at the moment and it's actually really common. But because so many people are gasoline to believe in, there's other stuff like IBS or. But yeah, I decided to do that little thing, put myself first, realize there was something not quite right, go and get a diagnosis, and now I'm, you know, dealing with that, and I'm doing that from a biking perspective. So, like I said, it's because I did that thing of putting myself first and learning about myself.

AJ: 40:55

What made me tick how I was as a person, mentally and physically. But it was because I took that time out to realize and go oh holy shit, actually, do you know what? That probably needs to be checked. But because I'd not managed to take that time out before and listen to myself truly, it just masked everything and I couldn't see clearly what was really going on. You know, do what works for you and when you start doing that, everything else will start like you know, it's like it's almost like a mist has been lifted and everything will just start falling into place and making sense. But yeah, I get it. It takes courage, not blind. My own trumpet hate doing that, but it does takes courage. Take that leap of faith in yourself. Go and have a nice break, guys. Come on, do it.

Zoe: 41:43

I Love that. Oh, thank you so much for chatting with me today.

AJ: 41:48

Absolute pleasure. Absolute pleasure anytime. I love it when. Where can people find out more about you? You are on.

Zoe: 41:54

Instagram. Where else are?

AJ: 41:55

you. I'm on Instagram Mainly. That's where I am at the moment. Literally one word the honest biker. I have just started a YouTube but it's not got much personal stuff on there at the moment, it's mainly biking stuff. I am planning on doing some personal videos if people would like to know about me. You know just a little bit of who are you, what makes you tick, kind of thing, you know who is the honest biker and all of that kind of similar to what we've spoken about now, I guess, but as a video, you know, and that's it really. I just, yeah, I just I literally go through life. I've taken one day at a time and I don't put any pressure on myself. So whatever comes comes, I guess. But yes, oh yeah, amazing.

Zoe: 42:41

Well, I hope that we'll be able to meet up at the women in my Absolutely, absolutely.

AJ: 42:46

I've read it forward for it. Please do come give me a hug. I'm a hugger. Give me a hug, yeah, oh yeah. And if anyone else listen, if you see me, please come over and you know, come give me a hug, because I love a hug, or just you know, manhandling.

Zoe: 42:58

It's all good.

AJ: 42:59

Oh, thank you so much, hey, yeah, you're absolutely pleasure mate, all right, I.

Zoe: 43:07

Hope you love today's episode and it made you think differently or perhaps nudged you into changing something in your life that's not working for you. I'd love to give you a shout out right here on the podcast to you, so let me know what you think, what you'd like to hear more of, or how you've been inspired by what you've heard. Let's keep in touch over on Instagram at mischief and hide, or sign up to my newsletter at Zoe Greenheartcom. If you're enjoying being part of the mischief movement, please consider telling a friend or leaving me a review wherever you download your episodes, which will seriously help my mission to inspire and empower more people like us to choose mischief over mediocre. Ciao.